This isn't too hard - make sure the women is genuinely interested in you in a person and is open to sexual flirtation before meetup and the chances of being ghosted or speed dumped go way down. Yes, you have to invest some time pre-meet building rapport and sexual tension but in my experience it pays off (and this is where some kind of system involving moves/lines/maneuvers/sequences helps).
It's more difficult than you are making it out to be. You are also describing a scenario of dates being tech arranged, either via swipe app or social media DM. More of that is done via swipe app than DM.
I think plenty of men do a lousy job of screening when using one of the tech methods. Men live in a state of scarcity when using the tech methods. Men do this because they only get matches on less than 1% of all right swipes. Random DM response rates are also low.
The best way for men to reduce the number of bad dates they have is to not arrange dates via tech methods, where screening is more challenging. When a man only arranges dates in person, he's likely to go on fewer overall dates but maybe more dates that lead to some positive outcome. Even with low match rates online, men in bigger cities can arrange more first dates dates than through approaching in real life simply through swiping on very large numbers of women.
The website/app era of dating has produced more bad dates and more bad interactions than when people solely met through real life interactions.
Ghosting isn’t superior. Texting to let the other person know they are not a match is a power trip. A woman texting ”we are not match“ first gives her the power feeling, “I made the decision, not him. I am in charge”
My last 2 dates, both women texted me after the date, one after a 1st date and the other after a 2nd date, that they are “not romantically interested”
Only problem is I never asked for a 2nd or 3rd date with either of them. They both told me to ”go to hell” when I didn’t say “let’s do it again”
Its all about Power,
I also think there is a power element involved.
The typical "one date, no sex, no second date" interaction involves a man offering a 2nd date and the woman rejecting his offer via ghosting or the "we are not a match" text message.
Some men have learned that if they never text the woman after a first date, they can claim they have the power and they were the ones to walk away. If they never offered a 2nd date, they can claim they ghosted her.
I can't imagine that many men have been texting women to let them know they are not a match. Men aren't doing that in scarcity mode. Men with abundance also aren't going to bother to do that either. Men with either scarcity or abundance would not make the 2nd date offer.
I can imagine women pre-emptively doing a "we are not a match" text to avoid receiving a text message offering a 2nd date or to assert power as you claim.
The last tech arranged date I had involved me not contacting the woman after the date. She never contacted me either. I can claim I was the one who walked away.
In the earlier days of tech dating, I had too many dates where I offered a 2nd date and was either ghosted or received the "we are not a match" text. I would rather be ghosted than receive that text. I stopped offering 2nd dates when I thought either of those outcomes would happen.
It is easier to screen for good interest levels and the potential of a good first date when only arranging dates through real life methods. More men doing this would be doing it off of real life stranger approaches than through a social circle. Fewer men now have a social circle capable of getting them first dates and quality first dates. There's also less real life approaching happening now.
They used to just end date 1 with saying to you in person, “It was nice meeting you.”
Then you knew it was over lol.
I think text messaging has de-personalized the dating process.
I first entered the mating market in the late 1990s/early 2000s. Text messaging was not common during that time.
In thinking back to how communication was done in the 1999-2006 era (ages 16-23 for me), it was either done with landlines or flip/candy bar cell phones that were primitive with text messages. In the era of flip/candy bar phones, the main feature of cell phones was mobile calling.
I don't remember many dates ending like that. There were complaints in the 1980s-2000s about using phones in the early stage dating process. SoSuave was around in the early 2000s, so there were probably threads in that era about leaving voice messages and calling women before and after first dates. Reading those threads in 2025 would be unusual because few people use the phone for voice calling now in the early stages of dating.
I don't think women liked getting phone calls and voice messages from men after first dates. There were fewer first dates back then too because fewer people were arranging bad dates as a result of tech methods of dating.
