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Gf ran into old FWB

Krueg

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hey guys might be be a pointless thread but something I been thinking about today
Been dating this girl exclusively for 5 months. She just moved to my town about a year ago and things seem good at the moment. Anyways her friends and family live about 2 and a half hours away. She would like to invite me but our schedules and days off dont quite work.out. anyways she spent a day and a half over there and when she got home this this morning one of the things she said is she ran into a old fvck buddie that was trying to hook up with her. But told me she declined, told him she was taken and she didn't have anymore emotions for him and that she was proud of her self...

Kinda caught me off guard like why are you telling me this? Is that a red flag, trying to make me jealous, or trying to assure me of her loyalty? Maybe im.over thinking it... thoughts? Typed this on my phone
 

Lookatu

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I vote overthinking...

When she told you this, how did you respond?
 

HyenaPrince

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Your relationship is pretty fresh. There could be three reasons for the fact that she told you about it. Either she's extremely honest or she wants to make you jealous. Or she's afraid of her own nature and wants to prevent herself from hurting you.

It's like verbally expressing to your friends that you want to get rid of a bad habit. You want to be held responsible. This is the most probable scenario. Women don't tell sh*t like that out of honesty. It always has to have a reason. I believe her when she says she doesn't want to f*ck him. But there will be a situation in the near future where she'll go through with it.

Those things always start with these types of indicators. They manifest through overly honest behavior and making sure you build up trust.

Don't react to her story. Don't ask questions. Just observe her behavior and if she starts meeting male "friends". If you stay calm and confident, she won't have the motivation to cheat on you.
 

Serenity

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Some people have a compulsion to share something that happened and they did something they're proud of. She's kinda bragging about herself really. Might also be she was trying to display honesty.

Don't overthink it.

Reminds me of a woman who would always make sure I could see her phone screen and showed me texts and stuff from her desperate orbiters. She was obviously trying to intentionally show honesty, kinda nice, but I have to admit the behavior is a bit weird. Funny contrast from the woman before her who would go to great lengths to hide her phone screen. I know which one I liked more, because the girl hiding it evidently turned out to be up to no good.
 

Krueg

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Thanks for the replies. I just said, hey im proud of you, I'd never think you'd be that type of girl. Then moved forward in the conversation. Now maybe in her past she was single, spinning plates like a guy would and had options. But she hasn't given me any signs of bad behavior so far. Just thought it was kind of weird to say that. Though if she was hiding something I don't think she would bring it up.
 

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Black Widow Void

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I'm thinking that she provided you with a good sign. Sounds to me as if she was (in a subtle way - as women do) wanting to convey that she's yours.
 

LARaiders85

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Almost all women do things like this and all I can say is that you need to watch your back.

There is this weird thing where you want to believe that it's just some innocuous jealousy game that you can laugh off but at the same time I just have a lot of experience with women mentioning guys because they feel like if they tell you that this person exists then it's your fault for trusting them going forward. Or, they are so enamored and obsessively thinking about this run-in with this man that they can't even help but bring it up around you.
 

In2theGame

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This is a good sign IMO. You should of told her in a relaxed and appreciative way, "I appreciate the honesty, This is what I expect from you. I dont care what it is, always be straight up honest with me and dont try to hide anything" She could of easily not said nothing to you and "hide it". This puts you in a position of authority and if she ever crossed the line by lying to you, then you know she's not worth having as a girlfriend. She cant say or do anything about it because you already told her "Never lie to me".
 

HyenaPrince

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Almost all women do things like this and all I can say is that you need to watch your back.

There is this weird thing where you want to believe that it's just some innocuous jealousy game that you can laugh off but at the same time I just have a lot of experience with women mentioning guys because they feel like if they tell you that this person exists then it's your fault for trusting them going forward. Or, they are so enamored and obsessively thinking about this run-in with this man that they can't even help but bring it up around you.
These are hard facts. Very well said. It's so damn ironic; she's thinking about this encounter and how that person made her feel, so that she just can't keep it for herself. It's exactly like these little jolts of euphoria you get during the day after some good news at work or after a fresh, hot cup of coffee. You can't stop talking about things you would usually never mention.

This is the case with her. She probably even was aroused a little bit and suddenly got enough tongue for ten rows of teeth.
 

LARaiders85

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These are hard facts. Very well said. It's so damn ironic; she's thinking about this encounter and how that person made her feel, so that she just can't keep it for herself. It's exactly like these little jolts of euphoria you get during the day after some good news at work or after a fresh, hot cup of coffee. You can't stop talking about things you would usually never mention.

This is the case with her. She probably even was aroused a little bit and suddenly got enough tongue for ten rows of teeth.
I didn't pick up on this one motive for why they bring guys up until I caught myself doing it to a GF that I was souring on. I hit it off with this really cool woman that made a huge impression on me and I just wanted to gush about it, it wasn't to make her jealous but more like this is the person you reflexively want to share important info with. Of course, with women you need to keep in mind that they also play jealousy games, often in concert with sociopathic passive-aggressive "confessions" (things most guys never do).

Oh, one more facet to this...a couple of times women have brought up running into an ex and in hindsight I realized that they had never broken up with the ex at that stage, like even months into exclusivity with me lol. You can be dating a monkey brancher without knowing it, easily.
 
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Clamslammer

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Could also be that she banged him and she told him so it makes her feel better about cheating on him. Like the wise chris brown said...these h*es aren't loyal...

She had a fwb so thats a red flag already...she has probably had more than one fwb
 

kingvavy

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Definite red flag. High quality women don’t talk about their past. It’s a huge disrespect whether intended or not. Run unless you like drama.
 

2Rocky

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We all have exes. if you live long enough you are gonna have a lot.

I think she is signalling her devotion, with a touch of "dread game" maybe even subconsciously...

TBH sometimes surrendering your self fully to a relationship needs the reassurance that "hey if this doesn't work there is a plan B..." And that actually keeps you from actively LOOKING for a Backup.
 

kingvavy

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We all have exes. if you live long enough you are gonna have a lot.
we all have exes but not everyone chooses to talk about our past with our present.

Almost always a red flag if a woman brings up running into her past hookups, or brings up past relationships, etc. Have a discussion and say talking about the past is a no no. If it happens again, cut your losses. Definitely not LTR material.
 

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dark god

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hey guys might be be a pointless thread but something I been thinking about today
Been dating this girl exclusively for 5 months. She just moved to my town about a year ago and things seem good at the moment. Anyways her friends and family live about 2 and a half hours away. She would like to invite me but our schedules and days off dont quite work.out. anyways she spent a day and a half over there and when she got home this this morning one of the things she said is she ran into a old fvck buddie that was trying to hook up with her. But told me she declined, told him she was taken and she didn't have anymore emotions for him and that she was proud of her self...

Kinda caught me off guard like why are you telling me this? Is that a red flag, trying to make me jealous, or trying to assure me of her loyalty? Maybe im.over thinking it... thoughts? Typed this on my phone
Red flag..cut bait now
 

Focal core

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hey guys might be be a pointless thread but something I been thinking about today
Been dating this girl exclusively for 5 months. She just moved to my town about a year ago and things seem good at the moment. Anyways her friends and family live about 2 and a half hours away. She would like to invite me but our schedules and days off dont quite work.out. anyways she spent a day and a half over there and when she got home this this morning one of the things she said is she ran into a old fvck buddie that was trying to hook up with her. But told me she declined, told him she was taken and she didn't have anymore emotions for him and that she was proud of her self...

Kinda caught me off guard like why are you telling me this? Is that a red flag, trying to make me jealous, or trying to assure me of her loyalty? Maybe im.over thinking it... thoughts? Typed this on my phone
Triangulation, when girls show you what she is,, run.. Biggest deal breaker, being triangulate with other person or objects, always the biggest red flags, relationships ahh nice, triangulate? Wait! From where that came from in ltr? Answer alwYs run.
 

Murkserious

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we all have exes but not everyone chooses to talk about our past with our present.

Almost always a red flag if a woman brings up running into her past hookups, or brings up past relationships, etc. Have a discussion and say talking about the past is a no no. If it happens again, cut your losses. Definitely not LTR material.
I disagree, in a LTR at some point you will both discuss parts of your past including ex's. Not everyone is a cagey secretive weirdo.
 
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