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Our experiences have been different and same with our views.
My divorce costs less than 1k through mediation, no attorneys involved even though we had a net worth of north of 1M
I can tell you a few things. One, the pre-nup will be fought in court and you will have to pay those legal fees. You may also be ordered to pay your spouses legal fees as well during discovery. I know my last divorce, I was required to pay her medical premium and deductibles which was over 600 bucks a month (it was a good plan). Since the plan was cancelled at the end of the year, I was able to get out of it. However, if it wasn't, I was on the hook through the whole divorce process which lasted nearly 1.5 years. Two, Dr. Dre is fighting the same battle right now. His wife, who's also an attorney, also stated that Andre (Dr. Dre) said he "tore up" the pre-nup a few years ago.Our experiences have been different and same with our views.
My divorce costs less than 1k through mediation, no attorneys involved even though we had a net worth of north of 1M
Certainly a shame if that comes to pass. I told her to write our legislature for the laws to remove the antiquated divorce laws. I even said, would any dude work then for marriage? She looked shocked. You will have just about all the same rights and privileges aside from legal right or ownership of my assets as outlined in a cohabitation agreement. However, if you want to do a rehab project with me and cover 50% of the costs, I have no problem splitting that down the middle. I said that is fair. Giving you something that isn't yours is not. You can have a party, the religious ceremony, the ring, etc. Are you willing to give that up for a piece of paper? She looked puzzled. I just said think about it and let me know. You know where I stand on this and what I've had to do in the past.She agreed to your thoughts on marriage in the beginning because she “knew” she was going to “change” you over time.
After about a year and a half, that kind of thing usually implodes as it dawns on her that the guy is not changing according to her imagined schedule.
It’s not sustainable unfortunately. Women live in a social web and there are many forces that are pushing her toward wanting marriage. Some of those forces are internal wiring, and some are social pressures. The bottom line is that those forces will likely eventually overtake her completely when she can’t stand the tension anymore. Right now she’s in the rationalization vs emotion battle. Emotion must win.
If she believes this she should be satisfied with a religious ceremony.She the responded, marriage is not a business partnership.
Perhaps, but I still think compromise is the key in any relationship. If we can't, then sadly and unfortunately, we will have to walk our separate ways. Having a fling is one thing. Finding a female that is acceptable to be a mother is completely another. However, it's not worth the hell I went through last decade. I posted about that a couple years ago too.I'm not here to change your views on Marriage.
Personally, I think she will always nag you and you fvcked up by "wasting" 1.5 years with her when you could've been with someone that shared your views from the get go. She's already taken 1.5 years of your life and who knows, other lost opportunities you could've had with other women.
Don't waste anymore time with her as you two have opposing views and goals in life and start looking for someone that shares your views about marriage. My $.02
I agree however with the exception of Marriage and/or Kids. You can't compromise on those two items.Perhaps, but I still think compromise is the key in any relationship.
No issues with having kids. Technically, we would be married, just not sanctioned by the State. I do not see the issue.I agree however with the exception of Marriage and/or Kids. You can't compromise on those two items.
I've seen friends that's had their gf for years and come to find out the girl didn't want kids and they did. It always ends up in breakup. You can't get past those two items I mentioned.
I've never heard any success stories when it came to differing views on kids and/or marriages. It always ends up in breakup so why waste your time?
yeah but to me it seems like she wants that piece of paper which is the issue I was getting at.No issues with having kids. Technically, we would be married, just not sanctioned by the State. I do not see the issue.
She'd get a piece of paper from the Rev. it her choice. I assume it will come to pass one way or another very soon. I am not too confident, but it is what it is, as I've already accepted she may walk; that's her choice. Not for nothing, the last two I had this talk to also walked, then reached out weeks and months later; I didn't take them back. She knows that too. I am more than willing to a make this work, but it has to be fair. Marriage by the State is not fair; nor are the lawyers at 500 + an hour.yeah but to me it seems like she wants that piece of paper which is the issue I was getting at.
That's not cool. Even a slimy toad has some standards.just bang married women.
That's not a "good" thing to do. But it is easier to bang a married than a true single. Smh...just bang married women.
The sad fact is they, whether they know it or not, want to have something over on the other so it hurts to leave should things fail. As hard as it is, and I will not lie, as painful as this may appear, it's better to experience it now than later. I still think there is a chance that she'd come around, but I'm already preparing in my mind that we're going to go our separate ways. Not going to say it's starting to sink in, but unless she comes around, the writing is on the wall.Im having this issue too. I've a lot to lose - I inherited quite a lot of land which has been in our family for generations. If I marry, I'm at risk of being the the last generation to own that land.
I've also offered to have a ceremony, but no cert, and this wasn't acceptable. That seems odd to me - what's so important about the government approving of our relationship. But as I read elsewhere on this site - "women are built to acquire resources - it's innate". That's the conclusion I've come to too. When you really pay attention to womens' actions, it cuts your idea of romance to shreds.
To discover your connections, whatsoever worth to you, your weaknesses and strengths.She wants to get her hooks into your money.
Certainly possible. Or, she wants to go through the whole experience like her friends are going through. She doesn't have a bad bone in her body. The anti-marriage is not against her, it's against the system.. That's what some people forget that I am trying to empathize. So, I understand she wants the experience, but she can have that; just not the "title" of legal wife. Religious wife, yes, legal, no. She can have the party, the ceremony, the dress, ring, etc. I really do not understand what the big deal is. Maybe it is me..She wants to get her hooks into your money.