GF gives me ultimatum. I give it right back.

[DJDamage]

This chick needs to be given the boot. You just caught a glimpse of her demanding self entitled nature and if you are still considered marrying her you might as well rip off your balls and give it to her.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

...Update: She finally agreed with me that buying makes better sense than renting, BUT now she's throwing a fit that its going to take 6 months and she doesn't want to wait that long. I'm very close to breaking it off temporarily, and if she really pushes it, permanently.

Exactly what are you getting out of all of this?

 

[Someone Much cooler]

i had an ex like this and both back breaker and pen kitten are right. I think that pen kitten is on a better track tho. I don't think she cares so much for marrage as she does freedom. In her mind she wants you to be a man and step up and take so to speak resposibilty. this where the marriage track comes in. Tell her that since yall can afford to move out yet, suggest gettin a hotel? Worth a shot...ps me and this girl ended up breaking up.

 

[penkitten]

I don't think she cares so much for marriage as she does freedom.

exactly

 

[ValleyDJing]

What the hell are you doing living with your parents at 26?!

 

[backbreaker]

read the post and you'd know

 

[ValleyDJing]

Dude, I will repeat. What the fuk are you doing living with your parents at 26!!!!! Get a fuking job that pays well enough to get your own apartment ASAP!

 

[Kev07]

Dude, I will repeat. What the fuk are you doing living with your parents at 26!!!!! Get a fuking job that pays well enough to get your own apartment ASAP!

Well he is getting a second job soon, that's supposedly when he's going to move out.

Get on it man, even if you don't move out with your girl, move out yourself

 

[Broham]

Update: We spent yesterday together and I told her the truth about how much debt I was in. At first she was angry but then she calmed down and was very understanding. We talked about me getting a much higher paying job- and ultimately that's exactly what I have to do, for myself first, and then the relationship.

 

[DJDamage]

Update: We spent yesterday together and I told her the truth about how much debt I was in. At first she was angry but then she calmed down and was very understanding. We talked about me getting a much higher paying job- and ultimately that's exactly what I have to do, for myself first, and then the relationship.

Damn you sound like you are already married to her and she is calling all the shots.

You are living in an unhealthy relationship.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Damn you sound like you are already married to her and she is calling all the shots.

You are living in an unhealthy relationship.

http://www.audiosparx.com/sa/play/port_lofi.cfm/sound_iid.1628

 

[blueguy]

Also, I only considered buying because renting is foolish for obvious reasons.

Buying is the foolish thing to do right now. Do more research.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

BROHAM, you are the living breathing embodiment of exactly why I tell guys never to consider monogamy until they're 28-30. At 26 how much opportunity have you squandered with this girl? You're stil living at home, how much of the reason for this is due to your comfort zone with this girl? You'd like to get a higher paying job and get out? This wwill NEVER happen so long as your entire focus is on the "relationship".

And that's the 800lb. gorilla in the room now isn't it. In all of your posts you refer to the "relationship" as an entity unto itself, not a condition that exists between you and the girl. As if you both owe your devotion and loyalty to the "relationship" like some angry god you'd disappoint if you didn't do all in your power to get along. It's time to stop it with this twisted sense of duty for some idealized coexistence, your head is in fairytalle land, just like a kid still living with mommie reading you bedtime stories.

The truth is you have no relationship, and certainly not one in the sense that you're describing. People in relationships maintain their own identities after having developed them autonomously from their partners. People in relationships have already cut the apron strings and left the nest. I can't think of a worse situation in which to put yourself into than to get into some living arrangement with a 23 y.o. child looking to you as her opportunity to leave home. If you do this and she doesn't mature of her own accord you will be stuck with a perpetual, unruly child who will domineer and blackmail you with her p_ssy for as long as you're together.

You need to reassess where you are in life NOW. You need to NEXT this girl tonight, focus on making yourself more independent, and Spin More Plates while you do so. I was going to write you some big long diatribe about how ultimatums are nothing more than declarations of powerlessness on the part of the one issuing them, but I'm sure you already know how powerless you both are.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Buying is the foolish thing to do right now. Do more research.

How come? People are literally giving their homes away (well, at least substantially under their original asking price) since they've been on the market so long. The only problem is that with all the foreclosures, lenders are wary about providing 100% financing. Outside of that, fixed rates are still below 6.5% so what's the problem?

 

[Broham]

Rollo check your PM.

You're right FDA, it is a buyer's market out there right now.

 

[blueguy]

That's not very much research. It is a buyer's market because values are overinflated. Historically, home prices increase only about 1 percent over the rate of inflation - about 4 percent per year. That is because housing value is directly tied to income. They aren't good investments. Housing has only been going up recently because people have been borrowing more relative to their income for the past 20 years. But we've fnally hit a bubble. People can't borrow any more. So now, it is still tied to the rate of inflation - but a correction is in order. Historically speaking (past 100 years) real estate has never been a good investment. You tie up your money in something that only returns a rate of 4 percent when historically speaking (past 100 years ) you could have put that same money in the stock market and returned 9 percent. Businesses are living, dynamic investments. Houses are not.

 

[Broham]

Damn you sound like you are already married to her and she is calling all the shots.

You are living in an unhealthy relationship.

How so? I should've done this months ago. If anything she's doing me a favor giving me a wake up call. Its no one's fault but mine that I'm in the situation I'm in right now. My gf has now chosen to support me and stick with me as I get through this- how is that unhealthy?

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

My gf has now chosen to support me and stick with me as I get through this- how is that unhealthy?

Gee, how considerate. A 23 y.o. child living at home giving another child living at home a pass for not having had his sh!t together enough at 26. I'm not sure what concerns me more; you entertaining a monogamous relationship from mom & dad's house or you conceding authority to her after 8 months, and think you owe her some kind of gratitude.

I'm busting your chops here to make a point BROHAM; you're already in a trap. You're catering your own personal expectations to what this girl wants you to be. You're identifying with her in order to hold onto your relationship fantasy, and I speak from experience, that path only leads to you being miserable in the long term and her leaving you for a guy who WONT do what she says she wants - she'll cheat on you with the guy who refuses to identify with her in the end.

I can only hold up a mirror my friend, you have to want to look. You knew damn well what the concensus of this forum would be when you started this thread about your problem, but you thought you'd get sympathy and affirmation anyway. You had to know what the response was going to be given your circumstances, just like you know damn well you wont consider or act on any of the advice these guys are giving you. You know why? Because you have a very profound Scarcity Mentality. You don't want to risk losing this girl (most likely because she's the best looking piece of ass you've ever had) and in her excusing your immaturity (which she so graciously does) you get the double whammy knowing that most girls your own age would blow you off after they found you were living at home. So you really have limited yourself to this one girl (of course you have to fukk her on the floor now), but at least you can count on your 'sure thing'.

 

[Frenchconnection]

Listen to the people on this board, trust me you'll thank them later.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

You tie up your money in something that only returns a rate of 4 percent when historically speaking (past 100 years ) you could have put that same money in the stock market and returned 9 percent. Businesses are living, dynamic investments. Houses are not.

Not necessarily. With an interest only mortgage (hear me out) you can put the money that you would pay into principle into a low load, non-taxable, liquid, interest bearing account (averaging 7-9%) which is less volatile than the stock market and has a guaranteed positive return rate (there's a law that states that it can not have a dividend less than 1% per year).

At the same time you will still be able to lower your earned income by writing off the mortgage interest. With a good mortgage rate, you can be earning 2-3% a year on your mortgage interest. That money could also be rolled into the investment. It may seem confusing but it's not when you really think about it.

The good thing is that this is not a legal loophole, most of the members of Congress use this as a method of retirement savings. It doesn't seem as if many of them contribute to 401ks like "regular folk."

Sorry for the derailment guys. Back to the topic at hand.