Gf Cheating?

ShePays

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I've never bothered with a LDR unless the chick had something my local options lacked, and I've never bothered posting about a woman that didn't have me compromised at some level.
I had an LDR, of sorts, once. It was just a girl with whom I stayed in contact regularly, and "squired around" when she was in town. I never went to see her, I saw other women, and I never considered her as more than an occasional playmate. Eventually, she made it clear that she wanted a real relationship. I made it clear to her that I couldn't seriously consider it, unless she moved to where I was, but not before.

LDRs are fine, if you don't get emotionally invested. They may even be preferable, because they have instant expiration dates. It's like a hooker you don't need to PAY to go away.

If you really don't want a serious relationship, with a girl who's always under foot, and you want to be free to see whomever you want, guilt-free, LDRs might even be ideal.
 

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ImTheDoubleGreatest!

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My theory?
1) Most likely got dumped by the side dude and she’s back to where she thinks is easier to get a relationship status(with me) in her head .

2) Side dude still bangs her but wants the validation and is looking for someone with high enough status(both wealth and looks ) to show off in Paris( all her besties were there with their rich bfs) so as soon we leave from Paris , she’ll be the same cold .

3) or another case of BPD

I don’t know . I’ll just let it flow
. Perhaps i might go to Paris with her to show off also a bit to my side chicks .
I think it’s the first. She wouldn’t offer to pay for your hotel rooms or tickets all the way out in France in the ‘City of Love’ (ha!) if she was doing it just to spite the other guy, and BPD is thrown around too much around here when a chick is standard crazy. My older sister *actually* has BPD, and that **** is definitely not the same as some other bitches, trust me lol

I normally don’t give a **** about responding to stuff like this, and usually just like to read what happens and draw my own conclusions from that and keep it to myself. I rarely ever respond to field reports. But I would like to point something out with your case though:

You said that she was your ‘girlfriend’ originally even though you were ****ing around with other baes, which doesn’t make sense to us here really because wouldn’t you just say that she’s a plate? Maybe a ‘main plate’ at most, as some guys like to say. But you also noted that she’s been going hot-cold with you. While you don’t actually give af in reality, you still noticed it, which means it’s unusual behavior for her. Then on top of that, you’ve mentioned here and there about how she wants to form a relationship with you. And on top of that, she wants to go to Paris, which is awefully suspicious since it is coincidentally known for ‘love’ (lol).

I think she was trying to lock you down initially (before all this **** happened) but wanted you to make the move to make it official (cuz bitches can never be upfront with this kinda **** since they’re so afraid of getting rejected lol). She liked you more than you thought.

And while she was kinda aching a bit from you not making it official with her, this new dude came along and seemed like a ‘fresh start’ for her, and while she already knew how you were (that you would never commit to her), she didn’t know if that was the case with this guy. She didn’t know if there was a chance for him to commit to her or not, and because of that, there was still the odds that he COULD, which was still better than her odds with you even if you ARE the better catch. It’s just that in the end, he likely rejected her or didn’t see her as something serious for likely the same reasons you don’t, and now she’s having regrets because you still are better (otherwise she wouldn’t be going back to you again rn).

Does any of this make sense? I could also be wrong too, not like it matters since it doesn’t really affect either of us in any way, but yeah those are my 2 cents.
 
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LARaiders85

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I had an LDR, of sorts, once. It was just a girl with whom I stayed in contact regularly, and "squired around" when she was in town. I never went to see her, I saw other women, and I never considered her as more than an occasional playmate. Eventually, she made it clear that she wanted a real relationship. I made it clear to her that I couldn't seriously consider it, unless she moved to where I was, but not before.

LDRs are fine, if you don't get emotionally invested. They may even be preferable, because they have instant expiration dates. It's like a hooker you don't need to PAY to go away.

If you really don't want a serious relationship, with a girl who's always under foot, and you want to be free to see whomever you want, guilt-free, LDRs might even be ideal.
I'm not sure that really qualifies as a relationship. Here we would say long distance plate.
 

NSX-R

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I think it’s the first. She wouldn’t offer to pay for your hotel rooms or tickets all the way out in France in the ‘City of Love’ (ha!) if she was doing it just to spite the other guy, and BPD is thrown around too much around here when a chick is standard crazy. My older sister *actually* has BPD, and that **** is definitely not the same as some other bitches, trust me lol

I normally don’t give a **** about responding to stuff like this, and usually just like to read what happens and draw my own conclusions from that and keep it to myself. I rarely ever respond to field reports. But I would like to point something out with your case though:

You said that she was your ‘girlfriend’ originally even though you were ****ing around with other baes, which doesn’t make sense to us here really because wouldn’t you just say that she’s a plate? Maybe a ‘main plate’ at most, as some guys like to say. But you also noted that she’s been going hot-cold with you. While you don’t actually give af in reality, you still noticed it, which means it’s unusual behavior for her. Then on top of that, you’ve mentioned here and there about how she wants to form a relationship with you. And on top of that, she wants to go to Paris, which is awefully suspicious since it is coincidentally known for ‘love’ (lol).

I think she was trying to lock you down initially (before all this **** happened) but wanted you to make the move to make it official (cuz bitches can never be upfront with this kinda **** since they’re so afraid of getting rejected lol). She liked you more than you thought.

And while she was kinda aching a bit from you not making it official with her, this new dude came along and seemed like a ‘fresh start’ for her, and while she already knew how you were (that you would never commit to her), she didn’t know if that was the case with this guy. She didn’t know if there was a chance for him to commit to her or not, and because of that, there was still the odds that he COULD, which was still better than her odds with you even if you ARE the better catch. It’s just that in the end, he likely rejected her or didn’t see her as something serious for likely the same reasons you don’t, and now she’s having regrets because you still are better (otherwise she wouldn’t be going back to you again rn).

Does any of this make sense?
I agree with you almost everywhere. You’re right about BPD gets thrown up around here too easily but i don’t know. I’ve been with the chick for like 6 months or so and her temper ain’t always stable, that’s why i mentioned it. I hope I’m wrong.

It started as a plate that i originally planned to spin only when i was back in my home place . You know something to play with while been there .Even when i left her interest was still high and I liked some traits of her character, her background and many other things, you can say she got herself promoted into a main plate even though we had that distance , so calling her a main plate is more suitable than a gf i guess .

She has never been cold with me except for during the time period i previously mentioned which was the only time she was cold and weird . Didn’t gave much attention, i was in full no contact with her during the whole time till she came back in contact with me and suggesting to go in places together . During that time , i lost all interest for her and even now i barely reply to her only to see where it’s going .

I like your theory and it makes perfect sense. I always gave a ****boy vibe and i never announced a relationship with a chick .I always let them believe whatever they want to believe without confirming anything. That’s why she had her own doubts about our thing and she was wondering what we had and maybe she could get her answer with another dude . Or maybe there wasn’t any other dude and that was a shyttest to see if even after all this bs i would still be around for her and i believe she got her answer .

I don’t know. Till we meet again i can’t be sure for anything. She might start doing the same thing. Earlier today i called her out for her behavior during Christmas and she says she’s never doing it again. I made it obvious that the next she pulls up something stupid like this ,Im gone .
 

ImTheDoubleGreatest!

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I like your theory and it makes perfect sense. I always gave a ****boy vibe and i never announced a relationship with a chick .I always let them believe whatever they want to believe without confirming anything. That’s why she had her own doubts about our thing and she was wondering what we had and maybe she could get her answer with another dude . Or maybe there wasn’t any other dude and that was a shyttest to see if even after all this bs i would still be around for her and i believe she got her answer .
Now that’s the way to be, always keeping them guessing.
I don’t know. Till we meet again i can’t be sure for anything. She might start doing the same thing. Earlier today i called her out for her behavior during Christmas and she says she’s never doing it again. I made it obvious that the next she pulls up something stupid like this ,Im gone .
Keep us updated.
 
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BeExcellent

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Advice from the old lady:

Here’s my 2 cents FWIW. You say the LDR girl is a good relationship candidate. Guess what. If you think so, other men also think so. Including men who have better proximity and are more serious about her than you are.

You say you like her for something more serious but you are busy spinning plates, meeting up with your exGF and getting laid. Your GF isn’t stupid. She observes the patterns in your behavior and she mirrors you by seeing others on the side as well.

You can’t expect her to sit home when y’all are NOT exclusive and you are dating & sexing others. She gets the same freedom you do.

From what you have said she asked for more with you. You shot her down.

Newflash: That tells a woman to dial it back, gtfo and date other men.

I don’t date men who are casual about me. If a guy isn’t interested? Fine. Next!

And actions tell the story. You are expecting her to beg you for something. Nope. It doesn’t work that way with sought after people. You said “nah, I’m not ready to be serious” and your actions support that stance.

So any self confident woman with much to offer IS going to entertain other suitors, because there is always demand for a hot chill girl.

It’s not cheating at all. It’s reality. You won’t give her something more serious so she’s exploring her other options, but she does dig you so she’s seeing what’s up with you periodically. When she sees you remain more interesting in being a playboy rather than a boyfriend she has confirmation that you do not take her seriously and therefore she goes back to entertaining other men.

This idea that sought after women are going to sit around waiting for one particular man is really idiotic.

No.

Really sought after women are going to simply find someone else. And then the playboys in the end get left wondering why they know guys with a great partner, yet they can’t find one themselves. It’s because playboys tend to think they can always find someone better. Until they realize they can’t always.

Someone else? Absolutely.

Someone better? Much tougher equation.

And so the great gal the playboy can’t get serious about becomes a great partner for some other man who recognizes her value, appreciates it, and has the desire for great relationship himself...so he snaps her off the market.

So play all the games you want OP. She’s simply going to find someone else in short order due to your fickleness.

You are trick fvcking your own mind if you think differently.
 

ShePays

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I'm not sure that really qualifies as a relationship. Here we would say long distance plate.
I agree. However, what the OP describes doesn't seem like a relationship, either, apart from his emotional investment. In my opinion, you dump the emotional investment, not the girl. Problem solved.
 

NSX-R

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From what you have said she asked for more with you. You shot her down.
No , that’s not true . Before all this coldness during Christmas started , she brought it up a couple of times and both of those times i was very positive to be serious with her and move our relationship one step further and i even offered her to move with me even for a short period if she couldn’t stay for a longer time. Never got a direct answer back and all this weirdness as i explained in my op happened soon after.

Also as i explained i was intending to let go of my older habits for her as i did for some time but thanks to her recent behavior this ain’t about to change.
 

BeExcellent

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Ok. There is more to this story then.

Here is the real question. Why are you fixated on her?

Because she isn’t chasing you/you can’t have her?

Because she’s the rare more complete package than most?

Could you really shut down all the getting laid escapades if y’all were to agree to be serious? Really think about that one.

Why is this particular chick running your hamster wheel such that you are here posting?

Is she winning the head to head game and your ego is injured?

I’m asking you earnestly. I’ve either seen or been in myself situations that posed all the questions I’ve just asked you.

What do you want? With her. Irrespective of her. If you don’t know that answer stuff like this is going to confuse you because you aren’t grounded in yourself.
 

lamath

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I would just cut her off/ghost....
Whats happening with her is nothing unusual or special. Default action is NEXT !!!

A big waste of your time ! I rather have no female attention than entertain a women that cant make her intention clear and follow thru with plans...

She just want attention, validation and the security that she has you on the back burner.


Have fun with those plate and forget about that attention seeker
 
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NSX-R

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Ok. There is more to this story then.

Here is the real question. Why are you fixated on her?

Because she isn’t chasing you/you can’t have her?

Because she’s the rare more complete package than most?

Could you really shut down all the getting laid escapades if y’all were to agree to be serious? Really think about that one.

Why is this particular chick running your hamster wheel such that you are here posting?

Is she winning the head to head game and your ego is injured?

I’m asking you earnestly. I’ve either seen or been in myself situations that posed all the questions I’ve just asked you.

What do you want? With her. Irrespective of her. If you don’t know that answer stuff like this is going to confuse you because you aren’t grounded in yourself.
She’s the one doing all the chase since day 1 . I barely respond to her . I’m no fixated to her . Even when she was cold with me i never broke No Contact. She came to me first .

When i made this post i wanted to confirm my thoughts with you guys . Then it turned into a field report . There is no running hamster wheel .

Before her going cold i thought of her to possess some unique features that i look for in a woman . That’s when i thought i should let go of my older habits.I don’t know if i still believe that , but what i know Is i have no more any interest for her .I just want to gain more experience out of this . That’s all .
 
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