"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Getting some one to pay a debt.

Alpine

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I'm sure I'll get plenty of ideas/thoughts from u guys.

About four months ago I lent a 'friend' a four figure sum towards paying for his wedding, otherwise it would have had to be cancelled.

No one else would help him out, he's the type of guy who spends money on silly things and goes from boom to boost.

I figured he was a good friend so I lent him the money interest free.

Now it turns out he's becoming ever vague as to when I'll get it back, and has even hinted I should maybe right it off.

As you can imagine he's no longer a friend and I'm torn between feeling a bit of a mug or just plain upset that I helped him out and he's done this.

I am a persuasive person and tried very hard to get him to see reason. I'm now thinking new tactics are required. What gems have you guys got for me?

(mega violence is not an option)
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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skeetman3000

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The United States has an excellent civil court system for resolving such disputes. I would think the UK would have similar?
 

Alpine

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There was nothing written to prove I loaned him the money. I did think about it at the time to have something legal drawn up, but I thought it would be too embarrassing to bring up.:rolleyes:
 

Snatchmaster

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you need to make him feel really guilty. Have a convo with his wife present, in case she doesn't know.

Get him recorded on tape admitting he owes you money. Best done clandestinely.

since he is unable to save a lump sum, start collecting from him every payday.

Look for collateral to take until the loan is paid.

Stage 3: threaten to take it to his in-laws since it was her marriage, too. Also, set up a meeting with his boss, and ask for his help in getting back your cash. Ruin your ex-friend's name.

Stage 4: take it back in kind: p*ssy payments from his wife; start breaking the headlights on his car $40 each, windshield $500.
 

Centaurion

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i never lend money to friends. once I lent 100 bucks to a guy i'd been friends with since 2nd grade, it took me 6 months and constant nagging to get the money.


btw, i support the 'p*ssy' payment idea.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Alpine

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Pvssy payment? She's fat and ugly and he's a real chump.

She doesn't work 'cos she reckons she's got some sort of phobia, when in reality she's just a fat lazy slob.

She will never talk or answer the phone, yet, she rang me up and litrally begged me for the money, she was crying and going on about she didn't no what she might do if the wedding didn't go ahead.

What a fvckin mug I am, or what a learning experience :D

Some good ideas here, the guy goes a lot on what others think of him. He also likes his car.

I'm just wondering if I'm above all this though, on the one hand I'm as bad as him if I start doing nasty things. On the otherhand it's the principal that gets me and I earned that cash and paid tax on it. :mad:
 

Donald Kaufman

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Lending money in amounts you can't afford to lose is one of those really expensive lessons. If he got his wife to call you begging he doesn't have much ... he's slime. The time I got burned I tried the "installment plan" but I was too disgusted to follow through to the end. You lost more then I did and you might have a stronger stomach.

Revenge is easier and very tempting ... but do you want to sink to their level?

Well, do you? Cause if you do ...

...perhaps I should stop living vicariously through others misery ...
 

WBAFC

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grow some **** ing balls. If you don't stand up for yourself now, people will walk over you in the future. Even if you had over a million dollars and didn't give a **** about the money, you should still get it back on principal. When I was in high school I didn't fight back when I was being bullied and it just made the situation ten times worse. Ring him up and if he doesn't give you the money, drive his car off a bridge, prefrable with him in it.
 

diplomatic_lie

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Break his legs!
 

Levex

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If the guy simply has no money to pay you, there's no reason to hassle him right now. If he does have money but doesn't want to pay, then try something listed above.

Also its usually a good idea to keep friends and money separate. Combining them can't lead to any good.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Alpine

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You know the type, and I'm sure he kids himself half the time.

Says he has no money, then says, 'like my new mobile? It's the very latest one available, can't be seen with an old one'

With hindsight it was very very stupid but hey, never again.

Thanks for the ideas, I will give it a go, and try the small claims court as I do have a bank statement for the cheque cashed.
 

GlutusMaximus86

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Nice to know I'm not the only one. I managed to get my money back however, even though he did sort of try to run. I wish you the best of luck Alpine.
 
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