"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Getting rid of condoms...

Shiftkey

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I've never had any problems flushing condoms. They're not any bigger than toilet paper, I don't see how it would be a problem.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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AC/DC

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Originally posted by reyalp
Now I've got a buddy, who fakes being affluent, that has had a vasectomy (since they can be reversed now.) He busted a nut in this one girl and actually heard her whisper "Gotcha *****" when he was walking out of her room. He thought it was funny, it was the exact same thing he was thinking.

She called him about a month later and said "I'm late." and he said "No you're not. I had a vasectomy performed in 2003." she sat there silent for about a minute, and then hung up.

ahahahahaha
WOW :nervous: hella terrifying!
 

reyalp

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Originally posted by diablo
Isn't that a little extreme?
Well, like I said after WaterTiger, child support would be a $300,000+ mistake for me.
If I were to ever to overlook something that simple, and it ended up costing me $1500/mo in child support, my foot would become permanently lodged in my ass.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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djbr

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Originally posted by reyalp
Yep

Take a bit of Leykis 101 here.....the tabasco rule. DITCH that condom, don't leave it lying around. Or put tabasco sauce in it, then throw it away. If you hear a blood-curtling scream, grab your **** and leave ASAP.

Or if you really want to be cruel, run outside, call the cops and file extortion charges.

Child support would be a $300,000+ mistake for me over 18yrs. No orgasm is worth $300,000!


Now I've got a buddy, who fakes being affluent, that has had a vasectomy (since they can be reversed now.) He busted a nut in this one girl and actually heard her whisper "Gotcha *****" when he was walking out of her room. He thought it was funny, it was the exact same thing he was thinking.

She called him about a month later and said "I'm late." and he said "No you're not. I had a vasectomy performed in 2003." she sat there silent for about a minute, and then hung up.

ahahahahaha
The only thing that came to my mind after reading this:

OWNED!

:crackup: :crackup: :crackup:

amazing story hahaha
 

italostud

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I always do 2 things.

1) take the condom to the bathroom, and fill it up with water at the sink. Then hold it up and see if any water comes out anywhere to check for leaks

2) Flush that sucker down the toilet.

The only problem I have with Leykis' tabasco thing is that: While you may have found out that she's trying to get pregnant, there's also the chance that she actually did get pregnant! I'm sure tabasco sauce doesn't kill any sperms. I'd prefer to never even give her the chance.
 

reyalp

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the idea with the tabasco thing is that it would irritate the lining of the vagina and uterus enough that it would make the environment inhospitable for an embryo to attach to the uteran lining.

but i agree, complete and utter disposal is necessary, in every case.
 

PRMoon

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Originally posted by reyalp
the idea with the tabasco thing is that it would irritate the lining of the vagina and uterus enough that it would make the environment inhospitable for an embryo to attach to the uteran lining.
Diaboicle!
I'm definately adding that one to the bio bag of tricks! Hmmm I bet I can use the habanero variety and yell "arriba" before I head for the nearest open window.
 
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