So I’ve been NC with my now ex for about 3 weeks. I have no desire to reach out to her, however she still has some stuff of mine that’s important I get back. What’s the best (read: least drama) way to go about getting it back?
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Getting possessions back while NC
- Thread starter JonnyD123
- Start date
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
Serenity
Moderator
Ask for your stuff. If anything other than compliance then demand your stuff, don't argue any points, insist on getting your possessions. If she doesn't give your stuff then report it to the police.
corrector
Master Don Juan
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What were you doing in North Carolina with your ex?
Serenity
Moderator
Not sure if joking, misunderstood or honestly don't know what NC means in this context. NC means No Contact.
MrWood
Master Don Juan
i shipped my ex's stuff to her in Moscow, after a period of NC, i simply messaged her and asked for an address to send it or i will donate it, she snapped a pic of her business card, and I didnt reply, I sent it.
you should do the same
you should do the same
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
wifehunter
Master Don Juan
buy new stuff