So I’ve been NC with my now ex for about 3 weeks. I have no desire to reach out to her, however she still has some stuff of mine that’s important I get back. What’s the best (read: least drama) way to go about getting it back?
"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
Getting possessions back while NC
- Thread starter JonnyD123
- Start date
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Serenity
Moderator
Ask for your stuff. If anything other than compliance then demand your stuff, don't argue any points, insist on getting your possessions. If she doesn't give your stuff then report it to the police.
corrector
Master Don Juan
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What were you doing in North Carolina with your ex?
Serenity
Moderator
Not sure if joking, misunderstood or honestly don't know what NC means in this context. NC means No Contact.
MrWood
Master Don Juan
i shipped my ex's stuff to her in Moscow, after a period of NC, i simply messaged her and asked for an address to send it or i will donate it, she snapped a pic of her business card, and I didnt reply, I sent it.
you should do the same
you should do the same
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
wifehunter
Master Don Juan
buy new stuff