"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Getting My Dating Life Back...I Hope

chickenlegs03

Banned
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Okay, I just posted that I've had a "problem" (http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=100100) getting laid lately...meaning in the last 3 and a half months of moving to a new town.

I guess the consensus was that the reason I am no longer getting much attention from women here is because it's really all in my head. I've felt the girls here are reserved and not really receptive...and that they give an asexual vibe, imo.

Whether or not that's the case, I really have to get my "mojo" back. I have nothing to lose, so I figured I'd make a thread simply to keep myself obligated to following through with it. Sort of like a reminder to make me make a conscious effort because I otherwise wouldn't.

I really miss the days girls would smile and wave at me or just start talking to me. Hopefully, though, I've just been deluding myself all along and that's still around the corner...somewhere.

Actually, most of my dating/sex life was from clubs, which I no longer go to. I don't drink any more either or stay out late. It's really not healthy, and the quality of people in those venues is not great.

So, I'll update as often as possible. And hopefully you guys are right about it all being in my head. And that I actually have not lost all desiribility in my new town for some strange reason. I am pretty busy, so "making an effort," for me, will consist of making conversations here and there when I get a chance. I think I do get the chance to, but felt it would be pointless when the girl is not already showing signs of being attracted to me...but I guess that's the wrong mentality, so I'm going to just make an effort anyway.

Goals: To start dating 1 girl.

Yes, I am setting my goal very low. Because I doubt I could even reach that. It seems very out of reach to me...as pathetic as that is...I really laugh at myself for it...but I think if I can get to that then I'll up the goal to several dates, then to getting a girlfriend or something.

Deadline: Having gone nearly 4 months without any action...I'm not really putting a deadline on this.

(side note: I don't masturbate)
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Charm

Master Don Juan
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Good luck. Set your goals higher, so if you fall short, you still made it further. Shoot for the moon!
 

Jackman

Don Juan
Joined
Apr 19, 2006
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Geez. Almost sounds like you moved to Boston from out of town.

Whatever the case may be, don't hold back. Be the guy you've always been even if it feels unnatural somehow in your new surroundings. It's better to be different than to be fake (trying to fit in). Always remeber that much.
 
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