"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

getting a girl of your mind

speakeasy

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 4, 2006
Messages
2,776
Reaction score
77
I have a bad case of oneitis right now. I literally cannot stop thinking about this one girl, even though she has no interest in me. Unless I am 100% occupied or concentrated on something, my thoughts drift to her. I wish I could just turn this sh*t off like a lightswitch. All the DJ stuff I have read during the years has not stopped this oneitis crap from creeping in! I guess like David DeAngelo says, attraction is not a choice. When you are truly attracted to someone, it's damn near impossible to control your feelings. I had decided to cut her out of my life, but I ended up at the beach with her and some other friends recently. When I saw her body in a bikini, I was just stupified, she has what I consider to perfect body. I couldn't even stand to f*cking look at her, it was damn near painful. I'm trying to remind myself that there 3 billion women out there, but it just doesn't help. Damn I'm becoming a wussbag....:(
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

Read more...

PhatE1vis

Don Juan
Joined
Jun 29, 2007
Messages
192
Reaction score
5
I know it's not much help, but take solace in the fact that most of us have been in your shoes at one point. Totally sucks.
 

foomee

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jan 8, 2006
Messages
363
Reaction score
1
Age
39
Location
California
Get your mind addicted to something or even someone else. Take up a new hobby. Go to the gym. Read... anything, try to improve yourself in all aspects possible. Just stay active and go out and make some friends :)
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

Read more...

Canadian Catnip

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jun 3, 2007
Messages
250
Reaction score
10
Location
Canada
This might sound crazy but this little video worked for me in getting a oneitis girl off of my mind.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3vaOhCZgwuE

It's based on NLP and re-framing. Imagine your feelings toward her on the ball, and see if they diminish after watching the video. If you have oneitis really bad then do it several times over two or three days.

Let me know if it works for you.
 

Lost1

Don Juan
Joined
Jan 20, 2004
Messages
89
Reaction score
1
Age
41
Find something to occupie your time, I used my car for instance wash wax rese, I also use music, I love finding new music. Hobbies will always help you remove your mind from a girl it works for me.
 

Jestor

Don Juan
Joined
Nov 5, 2005
Messages
77
Reaction score
0
speakeasy said:
I have a bad case of oneitis right now. I literally cannot stop thinking about this one girl, even though she has no interest in me. Unless I am 100% occupied or concentrated on something, my thoughts drift to her. I wish I could just turn this sh*t off like a lightswitch. All the DJ stuff I have read during the years has not stopped this oneitis crap from creeping in! I guess like David DeAngelo says, attraction is not a choice. When you are truly attracted to someone, it's damn near impossible to control your feelings. I had decided to cut her out of my life, but I ended up at the beach with her and some other friends recently. When I saw her body in a bikini, I was just stupified, she has what I consider to perfect body. I couldn't even stand to f*cking look at her, it was damn near painful. I'm trying to remind myself that there 3 billion women out there, but it just doesn't help. Damn I'm becoming a wussbag....:(
Do something you consider challenging and worthwhile. Nine billion neurons, I'm sure you can come up with something else to occupy your thoughts.
 
Last edited:

touge

Don Juan
Joined
Mar 6, 2007
Messages
55
Reaction score
0
Location
Gbak
a recurring vision of something you once had is probably what made things worse for you.. like everyone else just said, take a look around, do something creative, focus your mind on other things, think of all the other beautiful women you are able to meet in your life time
 

reset

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 25, 2007
Messages
2,200
Reaction score
59
I know what you're going through. And when you get like this, the easiest thing to do is to just sit around and brood, all that crap going through your mind.

My thing is writing music. When I start thinking too much, or worrying, just the act of sitting at my keyboard, and recording some music, in a few minutes takes my mind off of the girl and puts it on something I love, and am passionate about.

I'm sure you do something to relax yourself, that has nothing to do with chicks. Just immerse yourself out of that.

You can't think yourself out of something, you have to physically do something that forces your mind to concentrate on the task at hand.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

Read more...

rjones

Don Juan
Joined
Dec 1, 2006
Messages
50
Reaction score
1
You said she has no interest in you so **** her. And I bet your overrating her looks just like how I did when I had oneitis. Post a picture of her I bet shes not even that hot. I realized that theres so many hot girls out there that theres no point in worrying about one. Has this girl won miss universe before or been in playboy? no shes just some regular ***** that doesnt even like you.
 

speakeasy

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 4, 2006
Messages
2,776
Reaction score
77
rjones said:
You said she has no interest in you so **** her. And I bet your overrating her looks just like how I did when I had oneitis. Post a picture of her I bet shes not even that hot. I realized that theres so many hot girls out there that theres no point in worrying about one. Has this girl won miss universe before or been in playboy? no shes just some regular ***** that doesnt even like you.
I know what you mean. I had a oneitis several years ago. I recently found her profile on myspace and I was like, WTF?!?! I actually liked this girl THAT much?!? It's kinda funny how being mentally infatuated with a girl makes her looks so much better then she may actually be. It's almost like the beer-goggles thing, but naturally induced.
 

green69

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jul 10, 2005
Messages
308
Reaction score
2
Age
40
speakeasy said:
I know what you mean. I had a oneitis several years ago. I recently found her profile on myspace and I was like, WTF?!?! I actually liked this girl THAT much?!? It's kinda funny how being mentally infatuated with a girl makes her looks so much better then she may actually be. It's almost like the beer-goggles thing, but naturally induced.
lol me too man...found a pic of a former oneitis and I was like "meh..,just another average lookin girl." Why did I get so worked up over her before...damn.
 
Top