"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Gettin with someone at a party

Westwind

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Ok i was at a party realky hammered but i was afraid to approach a really hot chick because she was with a crowd. I kept trying to get my friends to come with me but they wouldn't, so i got scared.


How do you get over that fear and make a move?

Please give me some tips, i really need them.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Westwind

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The Sperminator said:
You were hammered but still afraid. Damn nothing to help you then.

I would have to disagree with you, i can be helped. But only by myself. I have to get more comfortable around women, dancing ,and groups of women. It's never too late.
 

Stuntmann

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She wasn't alone? In a set. You'd need to open the set or else catch her alone.
 

SaucyBoy

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Pay attention to the other chicks first. Make them laugh. Puts her at ease as she is off the hot seat. Make it clear later on she is the one you are interested in with eye contact. She'll get the message.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Rex Man

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I'd suggest waiting till she was alone to reduce the # of factors. Your game could be top-notch but one girl could completely throw a monkey wrench in your program. If you MUST,MUST,MUST approach a group, get a decent wingman. Tell your friend to stop being a bunch of pvssies, it's 2007 and that's not acceptable. :nono:
 

Play the Game

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Too bad you can't just club her and take her back to your cave, like in the good ol' days. :trouble:

Life was so simple back then.
 

Westwind

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Thanks that stuff is helpful except the last one , that's funny.
 

Obsidian

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Two main pieces of advice for you:

1) Desensitization therapy -- You have to expose yourself to anxiety in order to reduce it. Just go for it!
2) Your mindset is probably in error. You're still trying to please the woman instead of just having fun and being a man. In reality, you don't know anything about this girl yet. She could be a b1tch or a total hor; would you still worship her even then? Just go get to know her, be direct, and don't wuss around or let yourself get used.

And remember, everyone makes mistakes! You're still learning, and perfect is boring anyway.
 
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