"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Funny lines.

Themanthatcan

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You guys start naming some funny lines for different situations.Like- "I say
"__________" when she's doing ______ and you'll get a laugh".I just want to see all of your different senses of humour and see if I can pick up a funny line along the way.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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amoka

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Always give an example whenever you bring up an idea such as this....
 

Themanthatcan

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For instance, your at a bar and an attractive bartender is serving drinks and you say: "You're pretty fast with those
drinks. Do you do windows too? Nevermind, we'd fight all
the time, and this would never work out."

(Taken from DJ tip of the day, but you get the idea now?)

Hit me w/ your best lines for different situations.
 

Themanthatcan

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I'm appauled at all of your lack of openers/witty, on the spot comments.Ok.Let's give a situation and see who can come up with the funniest lines to say to her in that situation.How about this:A girl has her Ipod turned way up as she's waiting for the bus.She takes them out of her ears right before she gets on.What do you say?

Me, I would catch Eye contact and say something like: "Yeah, I like that song too :)."

Much more could be added but I'm just using it as an example.So come on guys.This is a stay home night.Give me some feedback.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Francisco d'Anconia

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Themanthatcan said:
For instance, your at a bar and an attractive bartender is serving drinks and you say: "You're pretty fast with those
drinks. Do you do windows too? Nevermind, we'd fight all
the time, and this would never work out."

(Taken from DJ tip of the day, but you get the idea now?)

Hit me w/ your best lines for different situations.
More than likely she'd say "Huh" too.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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Themanthatcan said:
I'm appauled at all of your lack of openers/witty, on the spot comments.
"Openers" are usually geared toward the moment and are pithy. Your example was for a server (if she got it) but it wouldn't work on anyone else. This is why stockpiling a list of one-liners would be an impossible task if one were to think up lines for every experience imaginable.

Themanthatcan said:
This is a stay home night...
Who sez??? ;)
 

driveon

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Girl: "Maybe I'll let you sleep over some day."
Me: "Yeah.... I think I'm busy that day." (with a smile)
 

Themanthatcan

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See.That's what I want.Thanks for a decent, constructive post, driveon. Guys, Even if you remember one you said a while back or whatever.They're still pretty funny to hear and good for reference.
 

ValleyDJing

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Your basically looking for ****y/funny stuff. Search that. There is a whole bunch of good s.hit just like that in those threads. I even made one myself but I'm too lazy to go get the link for you.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Fortunate_Juan

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Humor often fails when you try at it. The only thing I can suggest is hanging around funny people, it has a synergistic effect. Meaning, you get funnier by hanging with them. The problem with having scripts is that they are so rigid. Learn to be fluid and develop your own personal style of humor. When the time is right, you will know what to say.
 
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