"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Funny Joke/Opener from Ask Men

Hellomisslady

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Just saw this on Askmen.com, it was posted just as a joke but I think it could be great used as an opener:


A rather confident man, walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance, then casually looks at his watch for a moment.

The woman notices this and asks, "Is your date running late?"

"No", he replies, "I just bought this state-of-the-art watch and I was just testing it."

The intrigued woman says, "A state-of-the-art watch? What's so special about it?"

"It uses alpha waves to telepathically talk to me," he explains.

"What's it telling you now?"

"Well, it says you're not wearing any panties..."

The woman giggles and replies, "Well it must be broken then, because I am wearing panties!"

And the man starts tapping on the watch face and says, "Damn thing must be an hour fast."


The dialogue probably wont go exactly like that but I think it has potential, what about you guys?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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MurdocNiccals

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Yeah, remember guys, real life conversations always follow scripts to a T!

If you are lucky enough that she spontaneously asks you what you are doing, then spontaneously asks what's so special about the watch, then spontanously asks you what it's telling you, then maybe you are onto something.
 

Hellomisslady

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Feel free to never try it. I posted it because it was funny, maybe you shouldn't take it so seriously.
 

HolyG

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Other smooth pickup lines

Did it hurt? When you fell out the ugly tree?

Man, your hair is so pretty. Your arm hair, I mean

You look like you could use some d!ck....any d!ck
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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runner83

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HolyG said:
Other smooth pickup lines

Did it hurt? When you fell out the ugly tree?

Man, your hair is so pretty. Your arm hair, I mean

You look like you could use some d!ck....any d!ck
Yes, all of these would work as well as the original post.

My personal favourite:

" That dress is very becoming of you"

HB: "Thank you"

"Yes, if I was that dress, I'd be coming too"


Try that one out on the ladies and see how you go!
 

todays_news

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jesus christ i swear that website is seems to have a 100% content of utter bullsh*t.
 
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