Funny and somewhat embarrassing hook up stories.

[flowtheory]

So I’m recently single and back in the dating cesspool. Been on about three dates since the collapse of my relationship. Two were very meh, and one was.. good.. enough.

Good enough came over last night (Second hang) and it’s abruptly clear I’m not at all that in to her for a bunch of reasons, but she was clearly in to me, and DTF after movie. We kiss, and she’s god awful at it - she was just shoving her face/lips against mine without any suppleness or finesse; worst kisser I’ve experienced - but like a true-trooper I push on, and grab some breast.
Eventually we head to the bed and things heat up with progression, and now like the dawning of the sun it’s staggeringly clear she has no idea what the hell she is doing — I’m struggling to say the least, to keep focused and aroused (it’s up, it’s down, it’s up, it’s down) but still, I push on! Because it beats the hell out of stopping and having something more awkward ensue, such as: telling her I’m not aroused by her inexperience.
In a not so distant future we’re naked, and I’m wrapping up for insertion. I turn her on her side, and literally put the head of my ween in and to my complete dismay, I feel those tingles and come to a quick conclusion that I’m about to cvm. Thoughts pervade my mind and I’m like “HOW THE F— .. ugh!” and I came. Hahah!! Literally 2 seconds! I’ve never had that happen before.

I could have cared less, but she was clearly disappointed laying there with a few chuckles. I wasn’t embarrassed. But I did feel for her. I made a laugh out of it all. We laid there and talked for a bit after, playing with her breasts. She wanted to spend the night, although I didn’t want that - I think she was pretty sad that I didn’t want her to stay, but whatever. I’m heart-broken over my ex, I can’t handle that level of intimacy so soon, woman! Get that Uber.

I’ve noticed that when I don’t care about the women I’m bedding I don’t always have huge stamina or am anything to write home about. But when it’s with someone I care about? I can go for a solid amount of time and am a goddamn animal. I would think it would be the other way around. Anyone else have this?

Figured I’d start a thread to hear about other people’s funny/awkward/embarrassing stories.

 

[backseatjuan]

Weaksausage!

I have this security cam prn in my office. Married woman come over told me she just want to fck. So I fcked her right on my chair. I even sat to her while kissed. I rocked her world and explained while she hates her beta husband with whom she has four kid, three of which isn’t his.

 

[ThisIsSparta]

I’ve noticed that when I don’t care about the women I’m bedding I don’t always have huge stamina or am anything to write home about. But when it’s with someone I care about? I can go for a solid amount of time and am a goddamn animal. I would think it would be the other way around. Anyone else have this?

Yes............... had a few of those. I wasnt much into the womans looks/charakter or she was really incompetent. They made me come faster then the amateur porn-star which had skills, looks and was entertaining.

I think it has something to do with the lack of excitement/adrenalin involved. Boring girls make me come faster.

And there is that 1 out of 50 girls that is so incredible tight that i need some ****s to get used to it.

 

[flowtheory]

I think it has something to do with the lack of excitement/adrenalin involved. Boring girls make me come faster.

I would think cvmming faster would have to do with higher adrenaline and excitement? I’m not sure how the body’s mechanisms work in this regard.

 

[Lookatu]

I had gotten food with a gal before heading over to a hotel. Wrong type food I guess(maybe it was italian sausage/beef combo with fries?).
When we were reverse 69'ing it and she was licking my balls, I let out one of the nastiest farts. We both pretended nothing happened and she kept going but then we both joked about it after.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Yes............... had a few of those. I wasnt much into the womans looks/charakter or she was really incompetent. They made me come faster then the amateur porn-star which had skills, looks and was entertaining.

I think it has something to do with the lack of excitement/adrenalin involved. Boring girls make me come faster.

And there is that 1 out of 50 girls that is so incredible tight that i need some ****s to get used to it.

I don't let the woman be boring. I put them in positions I want them to be in and then I punish them until they can't take it and have to tap out. I take that as an insult and make them pay for it.

 

[Harry Wilmington IDS]

I hooked up with this chick one time, and after we were finished we rested a bit before doing it again. This time, she went down on me, and it was so good that I climaxed... and wouldn't stop climaxing. She was down to take it all in, but it just... kept... coming out of me, lol. To the point where she literally started choking and had to stop and run to the bathroom to cough it out.

Needless to say, we didn't do it too much after that, lol