Funniest thing you've said post sex

[JohnChops]

So whats the funniest thing you've said post sex?

I was railing this girl and she lived 30 minutes away so when I was done I wanted to gohome.

her: youre going home?! (it was 3am lol)
me: well the deed is done time to head home
her: WOWWWWWWWWWWWWWW youre an assh0le for saying that

then I left

lol, lets hear em fellllllllllllllllas

 

[Bingo-Player]

lol not sure if this is funny but after nailing a plate for the 3rd time without coming i turned around and said

"fvck ive banged you 3 times and haven't even came in your pussvy the fvck is wrong with you"

safe to say i don't think she appreciated my humour lol

 

[Tomo]

Not post but during?
'Damn, it feels like a cavern in here'...
Needless to say, the sex was pretty rough after and she didn't talk to me for 3 days.

 

[zinc4]

I guess mine would be Damn, it stinks like rotten fish in here, you might want to get yourself checked out, open my window please......turns out she had a bad yeast infection... wow...the smell was unbearable...

 

[marmel75]

"F*ck that...I'm not kissing you until you brush your teeth and rinse with mouthwash"

after I was banging a girl in the @ss and I pulled out to blow on her face and she just swallowed it whole, blasted a load down her throat and then she tried to kiss me...

yuck!

 

[dutchmaster]

"get out"
"I have to go home.. I'm plowing snow with my dad at 5 a.m tomorrow.. He lost his job so me and the plow truck is all he has left"
"Lets not do that again"

 

[Night-hawk]

So many amusing moments...

On one particular occasion this girl reached in her pocket and brought out a bunch of crumpled 20s from the night before. I snatched it out of her hands and said, "this covers last night." She didn't ask for it back. Heh.

 

[Albatross953]

As I was going down on her: "you have a huge *****, you have a huge *****"

She asked why did you say that twice? "I didn't"

 

[Albatross953]

One time I was just finishing and pulled out. (Wrap it up kids don't try this at home) I meant to finish on her stomach and it fired way past her...

I said "where the hell did that go" and we both burst out laughing.

 

[Tictac]

After a 3 hour marathon on a warm summer evening and a wrecked bed, I said 'It smells like sex in here'.

Both of us burst out laughing of a full minute. And it was a great inside joke down the road.

 

[Induced Drag]

As I was going down on her: "you have a huge *****, you have a huge *****"

She asked why did you say that twice? "I didn't"

You got that from Predator! It's still funny though.

 

[JohnChops]

"get out"
"I have to go home.. I'm plowing snow with my dad at 5 a.m tomorrow.. He lost his job so me and the plow truck is all he has left"
"Lets not do that again"

AHAHAHAH let's not do that again, made me lol

 

[mangotot]

'That will do but it was very average' after f****** a girl for the first time.

 

[Albatross953]

You got that from Predator! It's still funny though.

All time best movie joke!

 

[qwayqway]

"I told you to stop"

She wouldn't stop sucking after I came and was very sensitive, I pissed in her mouth, she swallowed it with the most bitter look on her face.

 

[logicallefty]

Got my taxes done at H&R Block in March 2012. Got my preparer's number, went to her house about a week later. B@nged the funk out of her... crunched those numbers right out of her \|/.

We were taking a break at some point, laying in bed. She was smoking a cig.

An H&R Block commercial came on TV in the background.

I said "Huuumf... They been good to me this year".

She gave me a nice slap and off we went again! :rock:

 

[BadNews]

"The bus stop is around the corner, get out."

 

[Mrgoodguy301]

I said "well we ruined these sheets again"

 

[PipeDope]

Came on her forehead and as I wiped my thumb across it I said "simba"

 

[Mrgoodguy301]

Came on her forehead and as I wiped my thumb across it I said "simba"

Lmao! Good one.