Frustrated by my HB8...

[speed dawg]

1. Keep her as a plate

Sorry pal, but the choice was already made. Just not by you.

 

[expos]

Not surprised by this at all. If you can stay emotionally detached, keep her as a FaceBook friend but don't contact her. Then perhaps in the future you can use her as a FWB. But don't ever initiate any contact that is for sure.

Good advice. Like I said earlier, I've deleted her number and all of her texts. I wouldn't mind going out with her again, since nothing really bad happened between us - but that's her move. No Contact ensues.

 

[CaliMan007]

...and it's over.
To which I replied, "the feeling is mutual....I enjoy your company but you need to do what's best for you"

Agree with Speed Dawg. The choice was made by her, not you, to keep you around as a plate.

Your response to her shows the balance of power is all on her side. You enjoy her company but are ok with what she needs to do for herself? What about your best interests?

I would forget her and move on. Plenty of other HB's out there.

 

[Trump]

Met this girl a month ago through mutual friends. HB8, divorced finalized in March, has a 3-year old kid. Our first meetup was with a big group our friends and she was pretty much on me the whole night. Making out, hugging, etc., as we bar hop. The second date… Hibachi Grill, wine, brought her back to my place and we bang.

We’ve been seeing each other once or twice per week and screwing. Went camping together a few weeks back with her friends and we seem to hit it off well. Took another trip out of town and got seafood and went to the beach and had a great day. We have to work out our schedules around her kid as she gets him 3.5 days per week and her ex gets the other 3.5 days.
The common theme in this relationship is that I MAKE ALL OF THE PLANS, initiate all of the texting, emails, and make all the phone calls. She has never flaked on me, and has always accepted my requests to meet up.

My last phone call was to her was three nights ago, and she seemed rather tired/bored while talking to her. I got pissed after talking with her (she doesn’t know that I’m pissed) and decided to not call or text and go ghost until she makes the next move. We were supposed to meet up tonight, but I stood my ground and did not reach out to her. She hasn’t even bothered trying to contact me.

So, I don’t think she’s seeing someone else. I’ll login into Facebook and her I’ll see her actively posting stuff at 10:30-11PM almost every night. But she does get a buttload of attention because she is really hot and has a ton of orbiters. I don’t play that game.

So – advice is needed.

1. Do I continue to hold out and go no contact?
2. Make one final attempt to hangout, and let her know that she will need to be more attentive and reach out to me.

She has a full time job and is raising a kid, but still, it doesn’t take much effort to send a text…

I kind of stopped reading after "divorced, 3 year old". Any reasoning/justification/confusion you have is due to those 2 items. You will always be 2nd or 3rd now.

She is bored and you are good to have fun with and sex with. You want a relationship, she doesn't. Just have fun with her, treat her like a mistress and go find a real girlfriend.

Don't tell her she needs to more attentive though, wont make her knees weak.

 

[Trump]

Double

 

[Big Nuts]

Single moms in 99% of cases are low hanging fruit.

Pick, eat, toss away.

 

[expos]

Single moms in 99% of cases are low hanging fruit.

Pick, eat, toss away.

But damn, she was beautiful. Oh well.

It was nice to have something for awhile after being 9 months out of a 5 year relationship/marriage. Feels pretty good to hang out all day with a girl, share meals, do activities, and feel appreciated. I feel like she was filling a void - even though I KNEW she wasn't going to be any more than a casual dating partner.

 

[MikeOck]

Honestly, you enjoyed the best a single mom has to offer: the first few months they treat a man right because they know they have a lot of baggage. Then, when the hook is set, they change from hot-fun-sex-addict to serious mom. It has been said a millions times over by countless men: avoid getting into a serious relationship with a single mom. The one and only exception is when you are both older and the kids are grown and gone.

Single moms continue to thrive in our society because plenty of men think they have the exception to the rule, only to find out later that they were being played for a fool all along. I speak from experience, a single mom I'd known for 15 years came at me hard a few years ago. She, like the girl in this thread, was one of the most attractive women I'd ever known. She kept the kids away for the first 6 months and it was all freaky sex and good times. Then one day she stopped by with her son and from that day forward everything changed. It went from sex marathons to me lugging 500lbs of kid toys/towels/sunscreen through the sand to the beach, reading bedtime stories, and basically becoming a dad to kids that weren't mine (after hearing over and over that she wasn't looking for a replacement dad). The girl in the beginning was GONE and it happened as soon as she felt she had me attached. From friend's stories to what I've read this is literally the story of the single mom and the men they latch onto, it happens every time and in every case. I learned my lesson the hard way, please, please learn from me and the others before you suffer the same fate. I managed to escape, but not before learning a painful lesson.

 

[Big Nuts]

expos: I've hit maybe 20 single moms (in the last 5 years)...yes they can still be hot despite the stupidity of the manosphere sometimes.

The fact is, life has run them over, enjoy the sex for as long as you can and keep spinning. You will never be #1 in her life.

 

[SingAgn]

What if you're a single dad?

Been out with single moms and single women. The single women who haven't been married seem like they all have issues. No one has committed to them ever so they are messed up in the head. The single moms at least have similar time commitments with their kids and it may work out. Any perspective from other single dads hitting the single moms?