"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

Read more...

Frustrated at not getting out tonight and hunting women.

Rainman4707

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 30, 2012
Messages
1,741
Reaction score
616
Its that crap time of year. I want to go cold approach but its ****ing dark and 0 degrees outside. this is me just twisting, feel frustrated that i cannot get out and approach tonight, i came in from work, had my tea, now i have no energy and am to full to go out and approach, people be like you have to do the work but some nights meh.

I do work mon day to friday, will do approaches in supermarket on my lunch, come home have my tea, then hit gym, weeknd i play footy.

Main point of the post is that sometimes my life gets in the way of me approching women, and i get frustrated because i have sosuave in my mind saying "You have to do the work"

I suppose there is still a few hours before bed, it's just so dark and cold here in the north of england and not many women about at this time of year

Was speaking to my friend about this just before and he said that i push myself to hard along the lines of :-

I actually think you're being a bit hard on yourself.

You've worked a full day, come home in the dark, had your tea, you're full, it's freezing outside and you've got very little energy.

And now you're beating yourself up because you haven't gone out approaching women.

There's something I want you to consider.

Cold approaching is supposed to improve your life, not become another job that makes you miserable.

I know how much you want to improve your confidence with women. I also know you sometimes feel that going to the gym, working and studying takes up so much of your time that your social life gets pushed aside.

But you cannot operate at 100% every evening.

There's a difference between discipline and punishment.
Discipline is going out when you'd rather stay in because you know it'll benefit you.

Punishment is sitting at home feeling like a failure because you didn't go out when you're exhausted.

Tonight sounds much more like the second.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

Read more...

BaronOfHair

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 14, 2024
Messages
5,687
Reaction score
3,123
Age
37
@Rainman4707 "I want to go cold approach but its ****ing dark and 0 degrees outside"

No one except a bona fide monster is eager pull the trigger of an MK22 either, even when the individual in that rifle's crosshairs is a bloodthirsty Janjaweed commander. And yet, most reasonably intelligent folks are able to weigh up the probable ROI on such a venture, then fire the fatal shot

You're facing a similar dilemma here, hoss: Do what's likely to enrich your existence, despite the discomfort this might entail, or manufacture justifications for not acting
 

Clockwerk50

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 5, 2023
Messages
2,355
Reaction score
2,431
Age
41
I guess you do put in the work, but I think much of this frustration could be alleviated if you had a more active social life, developed some hobbies, and found ways to socialize outside of approaching women.
 

The Duke

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 4, 2008
Messages
6,601
Reaction score
11,671
If you don't think your vibe/energy level is where it needs to be for socializing, I guarantee most of your audience will pick up on that as well. You won't be well received.

No point in banging your head against the Wall just to go thru the motions. Your time would be better spent doing something else.
 

UK manc

Don Juan
Joined
Oct 2, 2026
Messages
120
Reaction score
112
Age
43
If you're not in top 10% of gym people, you should give up approaching in the gym.

Try the pub. A gym mid bloke should be probably top 5% build in the pub.

But your local pub is likely pointless. You'll be needing to go to craft beer pubs or ****tail bars where the prices keep out the lager/tatted spammers. Depends which northern town if you even have these...

My impression is there are loads of people just like you. Both men and women. But they don't get to meet each other due to the casual spammers online and offline who just swarm everywhere.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

Arete

Don Juan
Joined
Aug 12, 2026
Messages
119
Reaction score
89
Location
Europe
If you're not in top 10% of gym people, you should give up approaching in the gym.
I think it depends on the gym. My first gym had a lot of obese and out-of-shape people. Meanwhile, my current gym even has some active athletes.

What I have noticed is that like seems to attract like. If there are some quality men around, there are likely a lot. If there are a lot of quality men around, there are also a lot of quality women around.

My point is, by sticking to "high value" places, chances are you will eventually become high value yourself. Although one must put all pride away and accept how some people are better. Then think how they can be surpassed and act upon it.

Honestly, if I could, I would pick a gym for world class superstars, even if I would be a complete clown there.
 

Poonstra

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Feb 27, 2018
Messages
289
Reaction score
247
Age
48
I think it depends on the gym. My first gym had a lot of obese and out-of-shape people. Meanwhile, my current gym even has some active athletes.

What I have noticed is that like seems to attract like. If there are some quality men around, there are likely a lot. If there are a lot of quality men around, there are also a lot of quality women around.

My point is, by sticking to "high value" places, chances are you will eventually become high value yourself. Although one must put all pride away and accept how some people are better. Then think how they can be surpassed and act upon it.

Honestly, if I could, I would pick a gym for world class superstars, even if I would be a complete clown there.
100%
If you're the smartest person in a room, it's time to change rooms.
 
Top Bottom