"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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From mega shy to over confident

S0LID

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This year I was too shy now I'm over confident. How can I fix this? This is feed back off some grls which told my friends this.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Caveman

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Overconfident is way better. Just take it down a notch. Be aware of your godlike greatness in your own mind. Don't brag about it :D
 

Knicknack

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you're probably being a little too ****y and not enough funny. just try to be a little more playful.
 

S0LID

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great stuff guys :) never talk about my greatness :D
 

Dirtheart

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Or if you do talk about your greatness, at least make sure it's perceived in a funny way and doesn't make them feel snubbed or inferior.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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S0LID

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yeah I make alot of pple inferior to me, guys and girls. Will calm that down too.

1 jelous guy was like trying to crash and burn me to grls (N)
 

Seeph

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You went from one extreme to another, it is stupid to ask how to fix being over-confident..
 

Dirtheart

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This is a problem I had when I started DJing. I went straight from nice guy to jerk, from insecure to arrogant and from being warm to being ice cold and a number of people have said the same thing.

But don't worry, give it time and you'll find the balance you're most comfortable with and that serves you best.
 

S0LID

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Yeah thats exactly right what Dirtheart said. I still think I need more confidence though to cold approach on a street or something.

Normaly I used to walk down the road and think no1 was intrested now I feel like I'm in my own matrix reading what people think like its printed on their head.

Even when a girl is speaking to me it's like I can here a second convo in my ear with what shes realy saying. It's almost like magic powers.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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biker_gixxer

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Originally posted by Dirtheart
This is a problem I had when I started DJing. I went straight from nice guy to jerk, from insecure to arrogant and from being warm to being ice cold and a number of people have said the same thing.

But don't worry, give it time and you'll find the balance you're most comfortable with and that serves you best.
I agree. You'll find that 'comfort zone', just be patient.
 

S0LID

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This is how it went,

shy
just cant do it
feeling fake
know everything but not using it
doubt
becoming a robot
being quiete
over confident

I guess there will be more to add to that list
 

MacDiddy

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So chicks think you're over confident!!! If a chick thinks that you're a jerk, would she go out with you? Most likely.

Don't ever pay attention to what a chick has to say. Pay Attention to her actions!!!!
 

S0LID

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I agree but jerk is before don juan. I want to become a master dj
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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legolas

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If you want to become a master DJ, you need a DJ board and lots of disks to spin :D

What do you exactly mean by overconfident? You mean you act like an ass.hole? If you act like an ass.hole, you've seen the other side, it is now time to find the golden balance. Confidence is more of a knowing and believing type of thing, which means you so things because you are 100% convinced that a certain thing will happen. Confidence is more about being quieter and slower because you konw what's going to happen.

If you're acting like an ass.hole, that's not confidence, that's just being an ass.hole :D If you're not acting like an ass.hole, then what do mean by overconfident?
 

SDBmania

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By over-confidence, you mean arrogant? Yeah that's bad, but that's ok.

You can be confident and modest. Modesty is good too. Just don't go around telling people you're all that. Be modest around others, but to yourself, be like, "Oh yea I rule!" You know, just balace external modesty with confidence and you'll be fine.
 

chicksrock

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i think over-confidence can at times hurt you.
so mix it up...ACT afc sometimes!

A True DJ knows how to balance his act to get MOST response from women.

i'm not saying to be less confident..but sometimes ACT like you are less confident....it is really very easy
so next time you meet a girl...act like you are kindof shy...trust me...you'll have more fun with this than anything else!
 

CLOONEY

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SOLID, I remember you when you first came to this forum. You seemed like a nice guy, and I dont mean a "nice guy" like an AFC. You seemed a lot more sure of yourself then than you do now.

Now you seem like an immature little girl. Go ahead and read over your first posts, and your posts now. Fake confidence? I think so. Take a step back and look at yourself and you will discover why some girls who know your friends think this. Oh and by the way most girls are not attracted to this kind of "confidence"..........!!
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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