Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

Friendzone is a MYTH

FenixRising

New Member
Joined
Jul 9, 2018
Messages
9
Reaction score
7
Location
Australia
I'm going thru similar as you Aesthetix29, it's like they keep us in a cloud of fog. Neither yes or no... just meh. I am trying to use the dissapointment/ anger about it to get fitter but its hard to stay focused and motivated lately.
 

Mike32ct

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 22, 2007
Messages
7,695
Reaction score
4,060
Location
Eastern Time Zone where it's always really late
I'm going thru similar as you Aesthetix29, it's like they keep us in a cloud of fog. Neither yes or no... just meh. I am trying to use the dissapointment/ anger about it to get fitter but its hard to stay focused and motivated lately.
You be warned/careful. At some point, she’s going to drop that she’s dating someone else, and that news is going to hurt.

Being in friendzone/limbo/“breadcrumb land” is easy to tolerate with a cute chick that is single. But once she drops the name of her new guy that she’s dating, then ouch.
 
Last edited:

Atom Smasher

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 22, 2008
Messages
8,706
Reaction score
6,505
Age
65
Location
The 7th Dimension
I’ve only read the first couple pages of this thread due to time constraints, so the following comment may be relevant or may not.

I observe that the friend zone is a place where a woman’s “pseudo-boyfriends” are kept. Her male friend partially fulfills her desire for a boyfriend. He is a temporary stand-in, giving her a vague feeling of being desired in place of the empty feeling of having no man in her life. He can also be the pseudo-boyfriend when she’s not with her real boyfriend. In that case, she smooths out the spikes and valleys of loneliness by having her “friend” at her beck and call.

In short, she uses her male friends as a drug to numb her from the pain of fluctuating attention. If you are the “friend” of a woman, you are a token that is being used by her to avoid anxiety spikes.
 
Last edited:

spred

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Nov 13, 2017
Messages
202
Reaction score
150
Age
45
Like atom smasher I read only the first two pages, but I think that Friendszone is a construct of men.
From my experience some women will drop you and keep you as a friend because:a) they are too nice to reject- they will ghost you soon after, b) you have social status, money, or something else of value non-romantic c) to keep you for attention or possible provider.
My experience the percentages are:
a) 75
b) 20
c) 5.
 

Mike32ct

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 22, 2007
Messages
7,695
Reaction score
4,060
Location
Eastern Time Zone where it's always really late
I’ve only read the first couple pages of this thread due to time constraints, so the following comment may be relevant or may not.

I observe that the friend zone is a place where a woman’s “pseudo-boyfriends” are kept. Her male friend partially fulfills her desire for a boyfriend. He is a temporary stand-in, giving her a vague feeling of being desired in place of the empty feeling of having no man in her life. He can also be the pseudo-boyfriend when she’s not with her real boyfriend. In that case, she smooths out the spikes and valleys of loneliness by having her “friend” at her beck and call.

In short, she uses her male friends as a drug to numb her from the pain of fluctuating attention. If you are the “friend” of a woman, you are being used by her to avoid anxiety spikes.
Absolutely spot on. And the poor friendzoned guy believes that “Things will work out; it just needs time.” He’s convinced that she will fall in love with him and upgrade him from pseudo-boyfriend to full boyfriend if they spend enough time together (or in contact). But sadly, it’s never going to happen that way.
 

Warning!

Do not subscribe to The SoSuave Newsletter unless you are already a chick magnet!

The information in each issue of The SoSuave Newsletter is too powerful for most guys to handle. If you are an ordinary guy, it is not for you. It is meant for the elite few. Not the unwashed masses.

If you know you can handle it...

If you already have girls calling you at all hours of the day and night, showing up at your door, throwing themselves at you everywhere you go...

Then sign up below.

But if you're just an average Joe, an ordinary guy, no one special – then skip this. It is not for you.

Mike32ct

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 22, 2007
Messages
7,695
Reaction score
4,060
Location
Eastern Time Zone where it's always really late
It’s sort of like, as a guy, you’re single at the moment i.e. don’t have a girlfriend. But you have this fat chick friend/sister figure who is funny, intelligent, caring, and otherwise good company. Rather than be completely alone, you go out for a beer with her for conversation and a few laughs. But you could never see yourself having sex with her or making her your girlfriend.

Bottom Line Cruel Truth:

A chick that friendzoned you considers you the male equivalent of a fat chick with a good personality.
 
Last edited:

Robert28

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 27, 2008
Messages
4,750
Reaction score
4,893
Absolutely spot on. And the poor friendzoned guy believes that “Things will work out; it just needs time.” He’s convinced that she will fall in love with him and upgrade him from pseudo-boyfriend to full boyfriend if they spend enough time together (or in contact). But sadly, it’s never going to happen that way.
Ive been that guy.
 

Mike32ct

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 22, 2007
Messages
7,695
Reaction score
4,060
Location
Eastern Time Zone where it's always really late
Ive been that guy.
I was that guy for over three years with one chick. Went out to dinner, dancing, to the park, for ice cream, etc. many times. She even slept over my house a dozen times, but insisted on sleeping on my couch. Never got more than a hug despite our apparent “connection.”
 

spred

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Nov 13, 2017
Messages
202
Reaction score
150
Age
45
I was that guy for over three years with one chick. Went out to dinner, dancing, to the park, for ice cream, etc. many times. She even slept over my house a dozen times, but insisted on sleeping on my couch. Never got more than a hug despite our apparent “connection.”
This is exactly what am I going through since 2,5 years. Today is day 7 of no contact.
 

Mike32ct

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 22, 2007
Messages
7,695
Reaction score
4,060
Location
Eastern Time Zone where it's always really late
This is exactly what am I going through since 2,5 years. Today is day 7 of no contact.
Then (after 3 years) one night before we headed out dancing, she said she had to leave immediately after the dance. She suddenly drops that she’s dating a guy, and he was not happy about her and I hanging out.

We went dancing that night for a few hours. She was staring into space and she suddenly burst out laughing hard when the DJ played “Hot stuff baby tonite.” The dance ended and she raced over to his place at midnight. You can fill in the blanks:rolleyes:
 
Last edited:

The_Hand_Of_God

Don Juan
Joined
Jul 2, 2021
Messages
37
Reaction score
24
Age
31
You be warned/careful. At some point, she’s going to drop that she’s dating someone else, and that news is going to hurt.

Being in friendzone/limbo/“breadcrumb land” is easy to tolerate with a cute chick that is single. But once she drops the name of her new guy that she’s dating, then ouch.
It's a very painful ouch aswell. And then they start going distant n cold with you even as a 'friend' and your sat there thinking 'what the **** did i do wrong to her?'.
 

Robert28

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 27, 2008
Messages
4,750
Reaction score
4,893
It's a very painful ouch aswell. And then they start going distant n cold with you even as a 'friend' and your sat there thinking 'what the **** did i do wrong to her?'.
You have to understand that long term friendships mean nothing to women as they do to men. Women see friends as replaceable and temporary, men don’t.
 

The_Hand_Of_God

Don Juan
Joined
Jul 2, 2021
Messages
37
Reaction score
24
Age
31
You have to understand that long term friendships mean nothing to women as they do to men. Women see friends as replaceable and temporary, men don’t.
Learned this the hard way. In my situation she literally went from speaking most days, sending snapchats etc everything too one word answers and never starting or even trying to have a conversation. Like wasn't even gradual she just suddenly switched. I've actually gave up trying to figure out why as it is exhausting.
 

Robert28

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 27, 2008
Messages
4,750
Reaction score
4,893
Learned this the hard way. In my situation she literally went from speaking most days, sending snapchats etc everything too one word answers and never starting or even trying to have a conversation. Like wasn't even gradual she just suddenly switched. I've actually gave up trying to figure out why as it is exhausting.
Just be glad she isn’t trying to use you, I’d rather they do what she’s doing.
 

image

Put away your credit card.

You can now read our detailed guide to women and dating for free - Right Here!

Robert28

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 27, 2008
Messages
4,750
Reaction score
4,893
I was that guy for over three years with one chick. Went out to dinner, dancing, to the park, for ice cream, etc. many times. She even slept over my house a dozen times, but insisted on sleeping on my couch. Never got more than a hug despite our apparent “connection.”
I almost ruined myself hanging around in the friendzone for almost 3 years. Looking back I know exactly why it happened, I was in a bad place self esteem wise for the past year before I met her. My luck with dating had hit a rut and I was racking up rejection after rejection and had never had to work through anything like that. So when I met her and we went on like 5 dates it didn’t take me long to start getting relaxed because I hadn’t had any luck the past year prior to that. I started to simp, be a nice guy, do everything wrong even though I knew I was wrong when I did it. The problem is I couldn’t stop. So she Friendzone me and instead of walking away I agreed to meet up to go to a concert with her like 4 weeks later. That’s when **** took off. We spent the entire summer together doing everything under the sun, except sex of course lol well after 6-7 months of this I’m hooked. I even tried going on dates with other girls but I wasn’t giving my whole self to them because I was only doing it to keep from falling in love with the other girl. Wasn’t working. Finally after a year and a half we had a fight and didn’t speak for 5 months. Thought I was free, I started dating this really awesome girl too not even 2 weeks after our fallout. Well she sees the pics of us on Facebook and sends me a message “I miss us, I miss our friendship, I miss our good times.” Well I stupidly agreed to meet up with her for a drink and fell in love all over again, told her so. She was like “sorry I don’t feel that way, but I need you in my life. Blah blah blah” Well I thought fine I can be a friend. Nope. Things were never the same as before and for the next year she got to where she’d always ask for favors and hit me up only when she wanted something. My relationship with the other girl suffered because my mind was elsewhere and it showed. I lost her and was needing to get out of this Friendzone situation where I lost myself and my self respect. The girl who once was a fun decent friend wasn’t looking at me the same or treating me the same and I hated it.
 

Toddz

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Nov 1, 2017
Messages
255
Reaction score
354
Bottom line in this thread should be this:

You meet a chick that you are attracted to, ask her out and attempt to seduce her into bed. The seduction is a simple process and she will put of signals that she is open to the seduction or not. The signals are not verbal. You escalate until you have sex with her. If at any point in time she does not reciprocate your advances, you move on. She has low IL and you are wasting your time. The guys that sit around attempting to turn a low IL chick into a high IL are friend zoned.

Now it is your job to seduce her. That can be the tricky part if you're not familiar with seduction.
 

DonJuanjr

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 6, 2021
Messages
3,150
Reaction score
2,176
Age
35
I've actually gave up trying to figure out why as it is exhausting.
You've filled your role, and now she's discarding you. Simple as that. Though once her heart gets broken in the future, your role is needed again... Whether you tolerate it or not is up to you..

I'm friends with the first girl that friend zoned me. I did fvck her back then, but became a beta biitch about it. I tried to see if I could spark desire again, and just not experienced/smooth enough to pull it off. Though I decided if I couldn't, I'd remain her friend as I don't care if she's interested or not. I just tried, to see if I could. What I won't do as her friend is A)fix shjt for her, and B)listen to her complain about guys/life. I'll just cut the convo short if she tries it. At some point, maybe she'll either set me up with some female friends, or we can go out and get drinks as friends, and I can have her as social proof for other females.
 

HaleyBaron

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 25, 2021
Messages
1,824
Reaction score
1,544
Age
35
I’ve only read the first couple pages of this thread due to time constraints, so the following comment may be relevant or may not.

I observe that the friend zone is a place where a woman’s “pseudo-boyfriends” are kept. Her male friend partially fulfills her desire for a boyfriend. He is a temporary stand-in, giving her a vague feeling of being desired in place of the empty feeling of having no man in her life. He can also be the pseudo-boyfriend when she’s not with her real boyfriend. In that case, she smooths out the spikes and valleys of loneliness by having her “friend” at her beck and call.

In short, she uses her male friends as a drug to numb her from the pain of fluctuating attention. If you are the “friend” of a woman, you are a token that is being used by her to avoid anxiety spikes.
Which is why I've been intentionally seeking more male friends. When youre around women a lot, you start to feel shallow and bored. And yes, feel like youre being used for them.
 

HaleyBaron

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 25, 2021
Messages
1,824
Reaction score
1,544
Age
35
Then (after 3 years) one night before we headed out dancing, she said she had to leave immediately after the dance. She suddenly drops that she’s dating a guy, and he was not happy about her and I hanging out.

We went dancing that night for a few hours. She was staring into space and she suddenly burst out laughing hard when the DJ played “Hot stuff baby tonite.” The dance ended and she raced over to his place at midnight. You can fill in the blanks:rolleyes:
You'll get more sympathy here. You were a typical nice guy, and she used you. You got no sex in return. It's a common thing, and don't feel too ashamed by it. That's why some of us in this thread cringed when you wrote this. We've both seen it and been there. Guys basically being used as emotional tampons while she doesn't even give him the time of the day. Women aren't meant to be your friends. They're for sex, and as long as we can save another man from that trap, a good deed has been done.
 
Top