Colin O'Brien
Don Juan
I've never been in anything like this (if I had been I probably wouldn't be here), but from what I hear it seems like a pretty sweet deal... how do things like this fall into place?
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
"Friends With Benefits"
- Thread starter Colin O'Brien
- Start date
"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
Tomatoes
Master Don Juan
It can be....
Its normally sweet for some time then falls apart (Nothing lasts forever)
I currently have a "friend with benefits". Its ok as long as you both agree on the rules.
It means i can keep seeing new girls without having to worry about regular sex. She gets the same out of it.
The only time there is problems in these situations is when those niggly "feelings" get involved.
Anyways....you ask how things like this fall into place....
I have had 3 "friends with benefits"
1st was an ex that we didnt want to get "serious" again....We just enjoyed fvcking each other.
2nd was a friend who turned into a friend with benefits who turned into a gf.
3 was the one im still seeing now. I started seeing her when she was with her now ex boyfriend. A relationship wasnt possible then so we were just s3x buddys. When they broke up we spoke talked about it and decided to keep things how they are.
There are many ways these things can start. Its normally when a full on reltionship is not a good idea or desired corse but you still sexually like the other person.
Sarge On!
Its normally sweet for some time then falls apart (Nothing lasts forever)
I currently have a "friend with benefits". Its ok as long as you both agree on the rules.
It means i can keep seeing new girls without having to worry about regular sex. She gets the same out of it.
The only time there is problems in these situations is when those niggly "feelings" get involved.
Anyways....you ask how things like this fall into place....
I have had 3 "friends with benefits"
1st was an ex that we didnt want to get "serious" again....We just enjoyed fvcking each other.
2nd was a friend who turned into a friend with benefits who turned into a gf.
3 was the one im still seeing now. I started seeing her when she was with her now ex boyfriend. A relationship wasnt possible then so we were just s3x buddys. When they broke up we spoke talked about it and decided to keep things how they are.
There are many ways these things can start. Its normally when a full on reltionship is not a good idea or desired corse but you still sexually like the other person.
Sarge On!
Uncle Matt
Don Juan
i've had a few.
1st was an ex. we didnt wanna let go untill the bitter end! (she was going to start a new life in oz)
2nd was a girl i met in a bar who just thought i was funny. we talked on the net and eventually got talking about my freaky side. she liked, we got freaky....
3rd is a old mate. we have always teased each other and stuff but one day when i was sliding my hand up her skirt she didnt stop me.
it just happens sort of. its strange cus i can never quite remeber what i did to end up in the situation!!!
1st was an ex. we didnt wanna let go untill the bitter end! (she was going to start a new life in oz)
2nd was a girl i met in a bar who just thought i was funny. we talked on the net and eventually got talking about my freaky side. she liked, we got freaky....
3rd is a old mate. we have always teased each other and stuff but one day when i was sliding my hand up her skirt she didnt stop me.
it just happens sort of. its strange cus i can never quite remeber what i did to end up in the situation!!!
Colin O'Brien
Don Juan
So how would this particular engagement begin? I picture that a "hey lets be friend with benefits" talk wouldn't be highly effective, but then again I've heard that it pays to be honest... in some cases... advice?
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
john paul
Senior Don Juan
You just have know when shes down for it
Some girls wont even consider it and others love the idea.
ex. You and her are hanging out alone because you two are confortable enough around eachother and then it just happens. You on top of her or her on top of you, whatever it doesnt matter.
The talking after the hookup is the most important part becuase you have to explain to her clearly the rules of engagment if she wants to continue this but you cant accually come out and say it like that. She needs to be smart enough to understand whats going on without you saying much.
All you need to make clear is shes just a friend to you but you would love to do it again. and again and again.
Some girls wont even consider it and others love the idea.
ex. You and her are hanging out alone because you two are confortable enough around eachother and then it just happens. You on top of her or her on top of you, whatever it doesnt matter.
The talking after the hookup is the most important part becuase you have to explain to her clearly the rules of engagment if she wants to continue this but you cant accually come out and say it like that. She needs to be smart enough to understand whats going on without you saying much.
All you need to make clear is shes just a friend to you but you would love to do it again. and again and again.