Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
yes but what if you have a crush on herjeffthechef said:you want to them physically..i HIGHLY doubt you know them well enough to really be "in love"..there's no magic way out..but you shouldn't simply think "we're friends. I'm content."
You're overthinking. Wasting time and life.
Meet other girls... If these girls that you're only friends with want to hang out, and you have time, then sure...why not? perhaps you were never in the friend zone...perhaps you will always be..
The point is, who cares? Live your life and don't bother trying to label your status with every girl you meet or know.
what do you consider a crush?FastMen said:yes but what if you have a crush on her
sorry , i mean if you really like her and want to her to be your GFjeffthechef said:what do you consider a crush?
i dont think ive used that word in years...perhaps a decade
and none of my friends use it so i'm not sure
your desire will lead to your failure.FastMen said:sorry , i mean if you really like her and want to her to be your GF
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
yes i appreciate your reply, thats what i did once about 3 years ago but in the end lookin good dont gets you a girfriend it will shure help a LOT but as men i think we need a strong personality, but not fake, also, the advice you give is great,jeffthechef said:your desire will lead to your failure.
here's something i learned/always say on this forum...
work on yourself rather than try to attract girls that you "really like".
you can want her to be your gf all you want, but in the end, she will decide whether or not she wants to fill that position in your life.
and how will she decide? not based off of some technique that so many high school kids seek...she will consider your physical appearance, which you can easily work on...by lifting weights, running, brushing your teeth, taking showers, etc...she will consider how fun it is being with you...perhaps whether or not you can keep a good conversation going..perhaps she would like "intelligent" conversation...and the list goes on
so what if you have a crush on a girl?...you do as i mentioned earlier...you live your life. If you're "the catch," she'll want you.
Dont go trying to attract girls with technique. BE YOURSELF. Yes, be yourself. But remember to keep improving who you are in every aspect.