Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
yes but what if you have a crush on herjeffthechef said:you want to them physically..i HIGHLY doubt you know them well enough to really be "in love"..there's no magic way out..but you shouldn't simply think "we're friends. I'm content."
You're overthinking. Wasting time and life.
Meet other girls... If these girls that you're only friends with want to hang out, and you have time, then sure...why not? perhaps you were never in the friend zone...perhaps you will always be..
The point is, who cares? Live your life and don't bother trying to label your status with every girl you meet or know.
what do you consider a crush?FastMen said:yes but what if you have a crush on her
sorry , i mean if you really like her and want to her to be your GFjeffthechef said:what do you consider a crush?
i dont think ive used that word in years...perhaps a decade
and none of my friends use it so i'm not sure
your desire will lead to your failure.FastMen said:sorry , i mean if you really like her and want to her to be your GF
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
yes i appreciate your reply, thats what i did once about 3 years ago but in the end lookin good dont gets you a girfriend it will shure help a LOT but as men i think we need a strong personality, but not fake, also, the advice you give is great,jeffthechef said:your desire will lead to your failure.
here's something i learned/always say on this forum...
work on yourself rather than try to attract girls that you "really like".
you can want her to be your gf all you want, but in the end, she will decide whether or not she wants to fill that position in your life.
and how will she decide? not based off of some technique that so many high school kids seek...she will consider your physical appearance, which you can easily work on...by lifting weights, running, brushing your teeth, taking showers, etc...she will consider how fun it is being with you...perhaps whether or not you can keep a good conversation going..perhaps she would like "intelligent" conversation...and the list goes on
so what if you have a crush on a girl?...you do as i mentioned earlier...you live your life. If you're "the catch," she'll want you.
Dont go trying to attract girls with technique. BE YOURSELF. Yes, be yourself. But remember to keep improving who you are in every aspect.