Fr? Keep your mind on the grind and result will follow

[Gamisch]

I’m an older guy with a bit of success in pickup back in the day. Here’s mah 2cents.

What is really the most attractive attribute for a man to have or try to cultivate?

it’s perception of Power. Period.

some kind of power.

That’s the ‘meta attribute’ to try to cultivate or radiate out somehow in *whatever way* it can be done.

i think some posters here (the females) are actually describing that as an aura /vibe/ energy/charisma etc.

but that’s annoyingly vague chick speak to me.

they really mean a ‘power-vibe’ .

Power be assessed *very* quickly by women but it can take various forms /be different in various contexts..

a guy can either get actual physical power by getting ripped, bodybuilding etc. Yep. No question. Physical presence is very powerful.

Or a guy can create a *perception of power in other ways
This possibly harder to learn tbh and can’t really be learned just from books /videos etc - it kinda has to be seen in action to model it and apply to oneself and has limits to the environment.

either /either can work.

what’s the shorter route to success tho? Hard to say.

How long does it take to bodybuild , get a bigger physical presence and cultivate a bad boy archetype?

vs having a role model /mentor /coach available IRL for the more social gamey route.

depends on a few factors.

I agree that one of the most important things whenever you deal with a woman is HER perception of power. She wants to feel " powerless" whenever she's in your presence.

That's why I say again, it doesn't always matter what a dude looks like. There cab be a million reasons why ome particular woman gives up power to one particular man.

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

^^ Exacty Venom and that is precisely what I've been trying to get you to acknowledge.

Your confidence is gonna swing in either direction (high/low) depending on .... how you feel internally that day, IOW your energy at that particular point in time.

As you said.... depending.

So, we agree here. Splendid.

And whatever state you're in, you will project that energy to the outside world in this case, women!

I keep asking for examples as to how this energy will be projected to others.

I keep asking, but I'm not getting.

And trust me we can sense your energy whether high or low and believe me when I say a man with good positive high energy/confidence has got a much better chance of getting the girl than a man with low energy/confidence no matter how hot he is!

Again, I'm asking for how this positive high energy will "get the girl".

Especially when OP clearly advised us to not cold approach.

So, where is the girl(s) coming from?

As if women will be coming from down the street and around the corner, just because they can all sniff this man and his newfound confidence.

Laughable, I tell ya.

Laughable.

I don't NOT believe in cold approach. I met an ex boyfriend on a cold approach. I had NO idea how much money he had or made or how financially successful he was

I could not sense that, what I did notice was how confident he was, how sure of himself he was, in other words his high energy and confidence!

Well again, OP advised us to NOT cold approach, Catz...or did you not see that?

Obviously, any man who cold approaches a woman, has some level of confidence.

But that ain't what we're talking about here, are we, @Gamisch ?

Anyway......

It was completely spontaneous or that's how it appeared to me.. but hell he could have scoped me out and planned the whole thing for all I know!

That's the beauty of cold approach.

But when we met and he approached, he exuded confidence and high energy and we connected.

Had he been feeling low that day with low energy/confidence, he probably wouldn't have even approached or if he had our interaction would have been much different and I, in all likelihood, would NOT have been as attracted to him.

It's all connected Venom - his looks, his confidence, his energy.

We're not talking about cold approach, Catz.

For many women NOT all. I have a friend I think I've mentioned her to you - all she requires is that he have a hot body and he's willing to have sex with her.

When that happens she's in!!

So yeah there are women like that too.

My kind of woman.

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

Regarding this, I guess we are different.

I'm fukking everything, not just her body. I can't be attracted to a woman without getting to know her at least a little, otherwise she is just a mannequin. Lots of women have nice bodies but that does not make them attractive and definitely not a 10 in my book. She has to earn it by demonstrating something besides looks. If she's got a killer bod but a bytchy or grey rock personality her value drops tremendously and it's a hard next.

I'd be curious to know what others think but I've never agreed with the "you're fukking her body only" trope. To me it's a scarcity mindset. In fact it can get a lot of naive guys into trouble with horrible women.

I understand.

This has to do with attraction..and what you like, you like.

I can't knock what another man finds attractive.

Still, worthy of discussion.

 

[Cheeky_James]

I agree that one of the most important things whenever you deal with a woman is HER perception of power. She wants to feel " powerless" whenever she's in your presence.

That's why I say again, it doesn't always matter what a dude looks like. There cab be a million reasons why ome particular woman gives up power to one particular man.

Well .. I just try and keep in mind that (ime) ‘Power’ is a meta-attraction switch I need to leverage Big Time if I want to get laid more frequently /compress pickup time from meet to lay.

I read this somewhere in PuA lit at one point
“start at the end and work backwards”

so take pickup in bars and clubs for a SNL /ONS.
So the end point is sex. Obvs.

What’s happening in sex ? In basic terms I penetrate her w my hard probe into her wet vagina hole (lol).
She is submitting physically am I am dominating physically . We are relative strangers and getting to an animal level pretty fast .

so working backwards. If the goal was say for example ‘sex in a bathroom stall’ …
I better be projecting a ****load of power vibe or dominance in the interaction to get her aroused and wet enough to bang me in a bathroom stall within a short timeframe. (If that’s the goal)
I’m gonna have to have a gameplan and lead in a big way.

that’s my basic mental model of pickup.
And that’s from experience of expermening w ‘cavemanning’ in some situations and acting very dominant. Or almost being a borderline bully in other situs. The common theme of a lot of my pickups was projecting a big power vibe of some kind. And some kind of Dom -Sub role play in the interaction.
as far as I recall.
I used to drink a lot also which helped me with this persona.

I quit drinking and and been in a long LTR since and it’s been hit and miss since the old heydays. It comes and goes these days.