FR: Finally landed myself a date after 2 months of straight flaking.

[sageproduct]

Update: she is now my gf
I have never had a gf in my life before

Update: I am still a virgin

 

[Purefilth]

Fair play lad. How did this come about?

 

[yougottaknow90]

Update: she is now my gf
I have never had a gf in my life before

Update: I am still a virgin

Grats dude, but this is an impending recipe for disaster.

Obviously none of us know the intricacies of the dynamic b/w you and your girl, but from what you've posted in this thread, be careful on where this goes and make sure you maintain your composure. Especially b/c you're a virgin. Don't get attached after (if) you lose it to her.

 

[yougottaknow90]

when i was younger, as in like, first really getting into this **** in my early 20's mjy mindset was like "is she or is she not interested"

as i got more experience it became "is the amount of work it's gonna take to get where i want worth the effort"


there are some girls i'd date I knew would like me but just were too much effort for not enough results. by results i don't even per sa mean ****ing just women who read too many damn cosmo magazines and over play their hand, "don't go 5 dates without going over his house first/showing affection/blowing him"

after date 1 i should be here

after date 2 i should be about here

after date 3 i should be about here

at date 3 if i'm not about where i think i should be i really don't care if she likes me or not.


like you go on a great, GREAT date and then the next day it's like she went online and read a magizine and read "oh girl you can't show too much effection so now play hard to get for a week" and now she's acting like she didnt' have a great time, i got better **** to do i really do.

I enjoyed this post, especially your description of the change in mentality you underwent. +rep.

 

[sageproduct]

Fair play lad. How did this come about?

Cuddling on the couch, watching Suits. During the intro sequence I turn to her:

Me: Hey, you're my gf.
Her: Okay.

We've been spending every weekend together for a couple weeks now, texting a little bit almost every day. She's starting to open up to me just a wee bit but is still super quiet and reserved. My parents came into town this Saturday to grab lunch, and she came with and met my (crazy) parents.

Found out she had a scumbag boyfriend in high school who cheated on her and hit her across the face in public when he thought she was flirting with someone. Her parents forced her to go to counseling for a year after that. That's all she told me, just the bare bones...it was probably even worse than she let on

Sometimes thinking about that I can't help but visualize it and fly into an emotional rage over it...but I make sure to get a grip on myself when that happens because if I show too much emotion over her past that'll just discourage her from opening up to me more

 

[AAAgent]

Cuddling on the couch, watching Suits. During the intro sequence I turn to her:

Me: Hey, you're my gf.
Her: Okay.

We've been spending every weekend together for a couple weeks now, texting a little bit almost every day. She's starting to open up to me just a wee bit but is still super quiet and reserved. My parents came into town this Saturday to grab lunch, and she came with and met my (crazy) parents.

Found out she had a scumbag boyfriend in high school who cheated on her and hit her across the face in public when he thought she was flirting with someone. Her parents forced her to go to counseling for a year after that. That's all she told me, just the bare bones...it was probably even worse than she let on

Sometimes thinking about that I can't help but visualize it and fly into an emotional rage over it...but I make sure to get a grip on myself when that happens because if I show too much emotion over her past that'll just discourage her from opening up to me more

Congrats on the gf. You deserve some type of success/progress after all the work you've put in improving your game.

Take this as what it should be, you're first relationship for you to get some experience. I've around a handful of girlfriends and dated many many more. Most girls lie about abusive boyfriends. I was called abusive from restraining my bpd ex from hitting me. This one time we were both asleep and she lifted my arm from under her as she was uncomfortable, but she accidentally dropped my arm and it fell on her face. She woke up and went ape sh1t on me saying i hit her (while i was sleeping, yeah right). She used to call me after we split and tell me her new boyfriend choked her, and before me she told me someone forced her to perform oral sex. I found out the truth to both incidents before and after me and they turned out to be exaggerations of the truth. Other girls would tell me horrible things about their ex's or even current boyfriends. Don't let any of that sh1t phase you and just focus on doing you. I don't understand the logic as to why they exaggerate these stories (i'm not saying it's false but most of the time they stretch abuse way out of proportion), but take it with a grain of salt. They probably use these stories to try to draw more interest and turn on the capt'n save a ho in us, so we can try to save them.

They're grown adults and have the means to save themselves. Now if she can confirm these stories and has actual police records or restraining orders on these so called abusive or crazy bf's, then i'd pay more attention but otherwise don't let that stuff brainwash you into becoming her whiteknight.

First time with the oral s3x, she liked the guy and he used her and never talked to her again. She felt used and convinced herself she was forced into it to rationalize that what happened was okay and she was not a slvt. Second time, she wasn't in a happy relationship and wanted to make it look like she needed my help to come and save her but i learned my lesson already. It's a red flag when you hear something like that but not a deal breaker.

 

[BeDJ]

So this is why you're taking a break from this site. We get it...it's ho's before ho-mo's.

 

[sageproduct]

chill bro, the bolded makes you sound like how a couple of my ex gfs would describe me.

The second bolded portion is most likely inverted. It was probably not nearly as bad as she lets on. Women have a way of demonizing anything in their past which is not beneficial to their image.

You cheated on and hit your gfs? I can't roll with that man.

Her parents told her the guy was a POS but she defended him saying he wasn't. He hit her across the face in a parking lot. Don't know how you can cut that one any differently. She told me one of the hardest things she ever had to do was admit to her parents that yes, he was a POS.

Did you miss the part where I said she went to counseling for a year after that? That sh1t's not cheap man, her parents dragged her to it and kept her going for a YEAR so things must have been worse than what she described to me.

...

Thx.

She was in high school when this happened though...she only shared what she shared when I slowly pried her (over multiple dates) on the subject. Never volunteered any information.

 

[Plutoman]

Just take care of yourself first and foremost - you aren't here to save her, and it's going to go poorly if that's what you try to do. Don't bring any focus or attention to it, and trust me when I say that if she uses it for excuses, to watch out.

My ex-girlfriend was ****ed up by that stuff... caused a lot of issues. Man, I could do a bullet point list on how ****ed up my ex was, but trust me that it's not worth the pain to deal with for you.

If she leaves it in her past, though, then go for it. And you can use the experience. Just keep some emotional distance, eh? Guard yourself a bit. That doesn't mean don't care, but don't fall too deep. Keep some room between you and the ground until you know it's safe.

 

[Ronaldo7]

This girl is weird. Your text game needs A LOT of work. She must not be able to get better if she settles for you, seeing how needy and desperate you are. That works out in your favor though.

 

[Pimp-sicle]

I never hit my women because its never come to that. As far as cheating goes, yea I've cheated. They never found out though. Morally I don't find it as reprehensible as a lot of other people. I've never been one for monogamy though.

Anyway, what I meant by my post is not that I did those things but that after a break up a woman will say whatever is necessary to save face. Equality is a one way street for these women. If you don't lay down the law in the relationship they will resent you. Just know that after a break up you will be a lying, cheating, beating, small-****ed loser.

Last point. As this is the era of the pill, with every parent diagnosing their kids as depressed or ADD, it wouldn't surprise me if she didn't fluff up her story about the ex. All it takes is a little drama in her life to get some anti-depressants and a few psych visits. Also, if she's so fvcked mentally, I would suggest you stay away. The last girl I had that overtly communicated to me that she was depressed and had family issues turned out to be BPD.

Not saying one way or another bout your girl, but just be wary. A lot of experienced men here know not to trust a woman's word. This is your first one, so expect a bit of a bumpy road.

Exactly! Listen to him Sage.

Your emotionally already cloudy and you don't even realize it. I can't tell you how many byatches have told me fabricated stories over the years of ex-bfs etc.

When a girl talks to me about a past relationship and she doesn't take any accountability for it failing..... RED FLAG.

Secondly, you should NEVER and I repeat NEVER ask a girl to be your gf. That gives away the element of being a "challenge" which is ESSENTIAL to keeping a girl's pu$$y tingling to keep you.

This is your first gf, so you'll learn in time. But the main reason women do all sorts of sexual, porn star stuff with guys they are dating in the beginning is a little something called competition anxiety. When your not with her and you guys are simply dating, her imagination is your best friend. She will assume your dating others.

When she texts you and you don't text back fairly quickly... she will think your on another date. And that make her want to fuvk and fuvk and fuvk.

You spending every weekend together, texting a little here and there everyday takes part of that competition anxiety away.

The fact that you haven't slept with her yet and still wanted to be exclusive is similar to buying a car off a lot and taking the dealer's word that its reliable, will last and has your best interest at heart.

I love that you have put in a lot of work and want to get better. And no matter what you will learn from this experience, so that's a positive, but this is set up to fail bro.





PIMP

 

[sageproduct]

I appreciate all the input, I really do - yet you guys are all projecting your own girls onto all this

She's not a princess, not even close. Sweet, quiet country girl who loves her brother and sister and has spent the last 2 years taking care of kids who are not her own. When I tell her she's pretty, cute, sweet, adorable, beautiful, sexy, fwcking hot...she just shies away and shakes her head or looks away. She doesn't flirt, smile seductively, bat her eyelashes, use a fake cutesy voice..she does none of that sh1t. And I've realized I do NOT like flirty girls. Every girl I've gone out with has been the type who does not wear makeup and does not flirt.

She's not fluffing up her story or anything. If I didn't ask, she wouldn't have mentioned it. Plus, she admitted her mistakes and still feels guilty for how she treated her family during the ordeal. Which, by the way, her parents DRAGGED her to counseling and took her there against her will.

If she leaves it in her past, though, then go for it. And you can use the experience. Just keep some emotional distance, eh? Guard yourself a bit. That doesn't mean don't care, but don't fall too deep. Keep some room between you and the ground until you know it's safe.

She only ever mentions anything when I ask about it. She never volunteers this stuff on her own or makes a point of it.

Thx for looking out for me but I'm jumping in head first. I got into pickup to find love, I could care less about getting laid (fap fap fap fap). I mean of course I want to get laid who the **** doesn't but getting laid was not why I pushed myself day in and day out to approach, approach, approach. I don't mind if I fall hard because I know I can go right back out there and get a bunch of numbers to play with.

Just know that after a break up you will be a lying, cheating, beating, small-****ed loser.

Well being Asian, I'm going to have a small **** no matter what

Your text game needs A LOT of work. She must not be able to get better if she settles for you, seeing how needy and desperate you are. That works out in your favor though.

Thx bro

When your not with her and you guys are simply dating, her imagination is your best friend. She will assume your dating others.

When she texts you and you don't text back fairly quickly... she will think your on another date. And that make her want to fuvk and fuvk and fuvk.

You spending every weekend together, texting a little here and there everyday takes part of that competition anxiety away.

I already went through that phase though, the entire first 3 months we spent in the undefined, casual dating phase. I only texted her a couple times a week, went ghost for as long as 6 days once. In fact after the second date we went 6 weeks without seeing each other.

Odd situation about the exclusivity. I totally get not asking for it. But I did it for a reason.

She's so shy and passive that she would NEVER so much as ask me "What are we" or anything along those lines. She's also the type who would definitely not be into casual sex or an open relationship or long-term casual dating.



This may sound weird to you guys but I have a thing for making people happy. It's a strong (and somewhat unhealthy) drive that I have. There are two things that I want out of this more than anything else and they are 1) I want to make her happy and 2) I want to be the person who makes her happy

 

[foreverAFC]

pump her butt already

 

[BrownBear]

This may sound weird to you guys but I have a thing for making people happy. It's a strong (and somewhat unhealthy) drive that I have. There are two things that I want out of this more than anything else and they are 1) I want to make her happy and 2) I want to be the person who makes her happy

Seems like you want a difficult life

 

[switch]

So this is why you're taking a break from this site. We get it...it's ho's before ho-mo's.

LMAO..don't worry bro , your butt-buddy NN is still here :crackup:

sausage-product will jus be away for a while, he'll be back once he starts longing for your pores again

 

[sageproduct]

Seems like you want a difficult life

I want a meaningful life

 

[zinc4]

You cheated on and hit your gfs? I can't roll with that man.

Her parents told her the guy was a POS but she defended him saying he wasn't. He hit her across the face in a parking lot. Don't know how you can cut that one any differently. She told me one of the hardest things she ever had to do was admit to her parents that yes, he was a POS.

Did you miss the part where I said she went to counseling for a year after that? That sh1t's not cheap man, her parents dragged her to it and kept her going for a YEAR so things must have been worse than what she described to me.

Thx.

She was in high school when this happened though...she only shared what she shared when I slowly pried her (over multiple dates) on the subject. Never volunteered any information.

Listen to me man...stop all the white knight talk and thinking....and never get emotional over protecting your "woman"....you are sounding like a simp and subconsciously...she will lose respect for you...

Truth is she most likely got off on this so called "scumbags" treatment.....don't ever listen to a woman's words on such things...and don't kid yourself....if her IL drops she will drop you ruthlessly and without mercy while banging another guy...NEVER feel sorry for a woman...don't ever ver do it unless it is your mom or sister...they will turn on you in a heartbeat if something that is more interesting pops up no matter how sweet and innocent they may seem...

I can already see where this is going...you are going to be the nice guy to make her feel better about the "scumbags" or "players" of the past.....unless you straighten up your mindset and emotions...

And why are you texting throughout the day???? That will kill your mystery faster than anything...look man...i don't know the girl you are seeing and what kind of person she is but let's not forget the fact that she is a woman...a woman..and most likely not the woman you will end up with for the rest of your life...or i hope not at least considering she would be your only one...you don't owe her sh&t...never get emotional over a woman being "mistreated".......

 

[switch]

I want a meaningful life

dear sausage-product your inner AFC is acting up.
think rationally. she is a good girl...yes it seems so.
now consider the facts that are written all over the bible:

1. don't judge a woman by her words, judge her by her actions

this means, the jerk/scum whatever , was treating her poorly, while she put up with it, untill she was slapped in public....basically she liked "scum treatment" but had to bail on the guy because she was slapped in public, this reduces her social values therefore she had to dump him in order to tell society "hey society! im not worthless!"

2.I'm really sorry to say this but you have "doormat" syndrome.

3.If a girl has a history of "counselling" , "depression" , "abusive parents" or any other sh!t like that ,then they got major emotional baggage

4.think rationally

5.you want to be emotional tampon == zero pu$$y

6.innocent girls are the horniest one out there
why do you think the jerk was dating her in the first place? we all know too well that jerks like to fvck all the time, you think she could keep him if she didnt give it to him 24/7?

7.80% of all relationships are broken by women, also its usually the woman';s fault that a relationship goes downhill,

she says "he thought i was flirting with another guy" =="i was fvcking another guy"

now i want you to sit back and realize that while she is a good girl, she has her faults......and cure your ONEITIS

 

[foreverAFC]

Update: she is now my gf
I have never had a gf in my life before

Update: I am still a virgin

how is she your gf if she isnt fcking and blowing you from how much she wants you, are you sure you arent mistaking the friendzone for a relationship ?

 

[sageproduct]

how is she your gf if she isnt fcking and blowing you from how much she wants you, are you sure you arent mistaking the friendzone for a relationship ?

Hey now yo9u were in high school once right? Or middle school...