FR: Double Booked on a Saturday Night...here we go!

[BackInTheGame78]

No answer went to VM...no VM left.

EDIT:

She texted me back saying putting kids to bed and what's up?

Told her nothing major, was just thinking about you so I thought I'd call and talk to you for a few minutes.

Said she can call back once they are sleeping...

 

[BackInTheGame78]

OK, just got off the phone with her..she called back, I was out at a store, called her back about 15 minutes later after I got out and chatted for under 10 minutes...

Main things:

-Told her I was thinking about her today, and she asked "Why? Did you see another dump truck?" I actually laughed at that one...that was pretty good...

-She admitted she had a conversation about me to one of her girlfriends today about what happened

-She said she had thoughts I was just interested in her for sex, to which I responded I'm not like that, if I'm going to end up being with someone I could see myself with someone like you...

-She said she is cautious of everyone she meets but she will give me the benefit of the doubt for now...

-Said she can meet me next Saturday because her sister takes her niece and her daughter will be at her father's house...which means the house will be empty...hmmmmmm

-Got off the phone in about 5-6 minutes, told her I just wanted her to know I wanted to see her again, and that I was thinking about her...told her I'd talk to her later.


Felt really sappy, but in this case I think it was necessary as I didn't institute damage control in-date, which would have made this unnecessary...gotta be better calibrated next time to the situation in-date...

Thoughts Guru?

 

[zekko]

I'm capable of tending my own convictions, thank you. I've always thought for myself. If I was conditioned by everything I was told, I would aspire to psychopathy like everybody else here.

I doubt that I would put this much effort into trying to nail a single mother, but I guess it's good practice. Here is my unsolicited advice:
If you want to bang this chick, take her somewhere more comfortable. Trying to bang her in the car makes you look thirsty, desperate, and inexperienced, IMO.

 

[HeadLightsOn]

Isn't this woman's SMV low due to her situation and kids? She sure seems to be playing hard to get for a girl in her situation.
And she thought OP that you might just want her for sex? No sh1t Sherlock!
Sounds like a lot of hard work for a low possible return. The ROI on this investment doesn't seem to be paying off IMO...

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Isn't this woman's SMV low due to her situation and kids? She sure seems to be playing hard to get for a girl in her situation.
And she thought OP that you might just want her for sex? No sh1t Sherlock!
Sounds like a lot of hard work for a low possible return. The ROI on this investment doesn't seem to be paying off IMO...

It isn't about a single woman, it's teaching myself how to properly deal with situations that arise with different types of women. I'm exceptionally skilled at pattern recognition so once I start seeing patterns of behavior in various types of women and I've successfully banged a few of each type, I'll be able to know exactly what to do in each situation to increase my odds of banging them dramatically.

I am trying to play chess instead of checkers. Anyone can bang women that go for your personality type. Chess is when you are able to successfully be whatever that woman needs to want to have sex with you. This is about self improvement and taking the time to learn. No different than if I was going to school to become a lawyer or doctor or anything else. I am learning all about the various types of women, what works with those types and then how to successfully apply that knowledge.

 

[guru1000]

Some of you guys look at life through a microscope, and thus miss the bigger picture.

I remember some time ago, I went on a date, and the girl practically raped me. The next day when I called her, she told me there was no connection. LOL. I was dumbfounded. How could a girl find you so attractive that she is practically fvcking you and at the same time feel no “connection.” What is this apocryphal "connection" that these women seek?

Although I appreciate both counter-positions, I don’t agree with them for the following reason:

Qualify for long-term compatibility only. Game ALL to hone your social acuity.

Social acuity is a gift, which separates the bourgeoisie from GREATNESS. Social acuity is having the skill to adapt to any environment to any prospect at will. As an example, in business, when I seek new ventures or investors, I am looking for the best deal. Accordingly, my goal is to get the MOST with the LEAST resources. How do I accomplish this? When I sit with the prospect/investor, I ask a lot of questions. I need to get a feel of the person:

Is he patient? Is he desperate? Is he aggressive? Is he educated? What is his financial position? What are his potential rebuttals? Does he trust me? Has he been screwed over many times before? Is he arrogant or humble? Which approach would work best: aggressive, lax, friendly? Etc.

I was on a date last week and was slowly escalating. After 20 min, she started getting pissed. So I backed off. I needed to address why my touching aggravated her. After a line of covert questioning, I understood, she didn’t want to feel like a “sex object.” Understandable. So I had to adjust my game. Instead of touching her, I created ways for her to touch me. Every time she touched me, I teased her, “Hey, why you touching me. I’m not a sex object!” This eased the reciprocation of my touching her. I didn’t fvck her that night, but I maximized my efforts to as far as I could have gotten without her initially high IL dropping.

A DJ must read every situation, and adjust his game accordingly. If your escalating is pissing off the girl, time to adjust your approach.

Anyway BITG, you handled the situation well. I think you see how important the phone call and beta hooks were to remedy your previous over-alpha-ed game. If your date is greater than one week away, I would shoot one friendly call or quick text exchange in between to maintain the beta rapport.

 

[pyros]

Call me old-fashioned, but I dont see the point in deceiving this woman just to get some sex.

She doesnt want to have casual sex, OP does. OP is lying to her and trying to manipulate her to get some casual sex.


If you want to hurt this chick, go ahead man...



P.S.

All this plotting to get some sex just makes me tired when I think about it. Jeez...

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Call me old-fashioned, but I dont see the point in deceiving this woman just to get some sex.

She doesnt want to have casual sex, OP does. OP is lying to her and trying to manipulate her to get some casual sex.


If you want to hurt this chick, go ahead man...



P.S.

All this plotting to get some sex just makes me tired when I think about it. Jeez...

I don't view it as that at all. I actually think she's cool and would consider adding her to my plates eventually..low key, low maintenance...simply trying to improve my ability to put myself in the driver's seat in regards to what occurs with more women and this is a start.

For the record, most women don't even truly know what they want and even when they do rarely does it serve them any purpose...if they did they would never say they want one thing but go for something totally different...

And Pyros when is the last time you got any action, let alone action on a first date? Don't worry about me brother, I do just fine for myself as I am. This is all about wanting to do better.

 

[zekko]

Social acuity is a gift, which separates the bourgeoisie from GREATNESS. Social acuity is having the skill to adapt to any environment to any prospect at will.

I feel like this is probably getting a little off topic for this thread, but I will respond anyway. I do agree with what you're saying here, up to a point. When it comes to social skills, it is helpful to be mercurial to a certain extent. Sometimes it's better to show a certain side of yourself as opposed to showing another side, depending on who you are with, and what the situation is.

For instance, if you are playing sports, you want to show your competitive side. But it may be inappropriate to show that side in all of your interactions, and people may start to find you annoying.

I do think that it can come to a point where you are being mercurial to the point where you are no longer being true to yourself, and that's where I have a problem. A lot of guys will say, well as long as you get to put your dlck in the pvssy, that's all that matters, and that may well be from their perspective.

However, I have never had any aspiration to be a PUA. I do want to be a high value guy who is attractive to women, but is following his own goals and life plan. It's not my goal to be able to seduce nearly any woman in any situation, even if I have to lie to do it.

I've always had a problem with dishonesty, because I don't like pretending to be someone I'm not. I know many guys have no problem AT ALL with lying to women, but if I am portraying someone I'm not, then I feel like I'm being dishonest to myself, and I don't like that. YMMV, and that's fine.

When you say:
"A DJ must read every situation, and adjust his game accordingly. If your escalating is pissing off the girl, time to adjust your approach.",
I see nothing wrong with that.

But I'm not going to say to a chick:
"Yes, baby, I want to marry you and give you children and stay with you forever and ever",
when I have no intention of ever seeing her again. To me, that goes against my self respect. Instead of her WANTING to be with me, then I have only tricked her into it. And while that may make for a GREAT PUA, I have no interest in it. I realize for many guys here that would be an ULTIMATE VICTORY. It's just not for me, it's not that important to me.

 

[amazingswayze]

zekko is an ethical don juan

 

[guru1000]

Zekko, our similarities are quite amazing. I used to view life identically as you do five years ago. And as I mentioned before, if I am not evolving, I’m failing.

The reason why I am “open” and no longer slave to my antiquated convictions is because although convictions are ostensibly necessary to keep you “genuine” to yourself, they also serve as prison. If your convictions direct your thoughts, opinions, and behaviors, then essentially you are a slave to these convictions, which, for the most part, were shaped by social constructs. And as social constructs are mercurial--changing frequently over the course of a millennium--the truth is NOBODY knows what the standard of “correct” behavior is.

As a society, as an example, we view death as a tragedy. But what if in the next millennium, we scientifically discover “heaven after death.” Wouldn’t death then be a blessing? See how quickly our convictions could change brought by different facts that come to light? What about the atomic bomb on Japan; tragedy on its face. But what if such tragedy saved trillions of people over the next 10,000 years by teaching the world never to go to war as we can easily destroy each other? And what if those who did die graduated to a better place, would the atomic bomb tragedy, then, not be a blessing? Going further, what if our life purpose was to evolve spiritually, and these isolated incidents of earthly (temporary) “evil” are necessary to educate the souls (eternal) of the world to become better; then, aren’t we depriving trillions of others' evolving by prevention of these “evil” acts?

How can we distinguish between rightful and wrongful behavior when we don’t possess ALL the facts? Do you see how quickly convictions can change based on different facts brought to light? We, as human beings, possess such hubris to be believe that we are that omniscient; that we know “everything” to the degree where we can develop and live by these “rightful” convictions.

Unfortunately, is it these “rightful” convictions that we later discover are not so “right.”

Instead, life has taught me to be free by thought, opinion, behavior, and action:

Empty your mind. Be formless, shapeless, like water. Now if you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup. You put water into a bottle, it becomes the bottle. You put it in a teapot, it becomes the teapot. Now water can flow, or it can crash. Be water my friend.

–Bruce Lee

 

[zekko]

Zekko, our similarities are quite amazing. I used to view life identically as you do five years ago. And as I mentioned before, if I am not evolving, I’m failing.

Yeah, we used to see pretty much eye to eye on things.

But don't misunderstand me, I was not framing my thoughts in my previous post as a discussion of "right and wrong". That would be beyond the scope of this board, I would think. I was saying (and I've said this before) that I, me, myself, me personally, I do not like dishonesty. I don't need it. I don't want it in my life, and I don't think that it would enrich me if I would just embrace it.

I've known guys who lie to girls routinely to get laid, and I would laugh my @ss off when those girls would swallow it hook, line, and sinker. But it's not for me, no thanks. The funny thing is, those guys were good looking guys with good game, they didn't even need to lie, the girls liked them anyway.

I've known people who lie habitually. I don't know what motivates them. I've seen them get caught in their lies routinely. One reason I don't like dishonesty is I like to keep my life simple. I don't want to spend the time remembering what lies I told to who so I can keep my story straight. I'm not interested in dishonesty, I can't be bothered with it. No, that doesn't mean I never lie or never use white lies, I'm not perfect. I'm just not a fan of dishonesty. That's my choice.

Look, what might be right for you might not be right for me. But let's not pretend that because you are willing to lie to get into a woman's pants, that makes you more evolved than me, okay?

Not all of a man's convictions need to be because of "right and wrong", or need to be a chain enslaving him. As an example, if you have a conviction that you shouldn't bend, or supplicate, or lower yourself to beg from a woman, that is about self respect. Sometimes it's good to have convictions.

 

[ubercat]

Quote Guru1000 "So I had to adjust my game. Instead of touching her, I created ways for her to touch me."

Hey G1000
This is a nice approach. Can you share some details on how you did this?

 

[BackInTheGame78]

We are set for Saturday night...

Key point, I suggested that I pick her up at her house and we go together and she readily agreed...that also means I have to drop her off...

And use the bathroom, lmao...

Have a feeling I'll be writing a good field report on Sunday, lol...

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Met up with her again last night. Was out working all day and was starving so I suggested we get something to eat. In hindsight, should have stuck to drinks. Ordered food, no alcoholic beverages involved.

Had good convo going, afterwards went upstairs and played pool, had a few heavy make out sessions. Told her let's get out of here, she asked where are we going, told her let's go watch a movie. My place wasn't available so I suggested we go to hers. No go. Said her place is a mess and she didn't want me seeing it like that.

Got outside it was raining, ended up in the back of my car. Talking, some making out, escalated to boob touching, hand inside her shirt, she was enjoying it, went to slide my hand towards her pvssy and she pulled it away. Waited a few minutes and continued doing what I was doing. Tried again. Pulled my hand away again.

It was getting late, both of us had to get up early, I left it at that. Kissed her again in the parking lot and left.

Can't say I can remember a time when I got further on date 1 than date 2. Lack of alcohol could have played a role. Thinking I could have gotten her back to my place if it was available. Were 5 minutes from her place, so I figured that wouldn't have been an issue...guess I was wrong.

Maybe she isn't overly interested, but signs are pointing towards her wanting to make me wait for a little bit, ie, relationship. Told me she wants to get to know me but I'm hard to get to know because I don't give much information. But then she pretty much told me everything she knew that I told her from the first date, which I took as a positive. I think she is afraid if I fvck her I will just be done with her, which I tried to downplay and talk around but she already views me as a "bad boy" and "trouble". Tried to do some beta **** per Guru's advice and while she appeared to like hearing it, didn't get the result I wanted. Honestly thought getting the fvck on this date would have been at a 95% chance. Looks like I got the 5%.

Have to say I'm a little intrigued by her. I don't usually get women that make me work this hard.

Will see what happens here. No matter went home and got a booty call text from one of my plates and ended up taking care of business.

 

[pyros]

yes, it is very odd when you get further in date 1 than in date 2.

And in my experience, it is a bad sign, because it means that in the begining she really liked you and felt horny, but now she doesnt really like you that much...or she likes you but she's doing a rational decission about not having sex with you, which is bad.

Have a look:
http://therationalmale.com/2011/09/23/wait-for-it/

 

[guru1000]

Ordered food, no alcoholic beverages involved.

:nervous: I know you are hungry my man, but are we trying to feed the beast or fvck?

Had good convo going, afterwards went upstairs and played pool, had a few heavy make out sessions. Told her let's get out of here, she asked where are we going, told her let's go watch a movie.

My place wasn't available so I suggested we go to hers. No go. Said her place is a mess and she didn't want me seeing it like that.

She wasn't ready. Now you soften her with a few beta hooks, and proceed to a different venue for drinks! In the next venue, you focus on three things: (1) stronger rapport; (2) beta hooks; (3) drinks!

Got outside it was raining, ended up in the back of my car. Talking, some making out, escalated to boob touching, hand inside her shirt, she was enjoying it, went to slide my hand towards her pvssy and she pulled it away. Waited a few minutes and continued doing what I was doing. Tried again. Pulled my hand away again.

She wasn't ready. She declined access to her place. Also the chances of ****ing her in the car (without drinks!) are slim.

It was getting late, both of us had to get up early, I left it at that. Kissed her again in the parking lot and left.

Next time a girl rejects your attempt to touch her, simply put her hand on your dvck, and start a friendly massage. The flood gates will then open.

How long was the date? Since your house is unavailable due to construction, your game will have to be extra tight to get her back to her place. You may have cemented the image as the P & D guy. She needs to be softened up. Call/text her today, give 1-2 beta hooks, and schedule a date within a few days.

I went on a second date on Friday that I might have mentioned to you. It went as follows:
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

9:00: Met at a bar. She didn't order a drink. I ordered. I tried to push her to drink, but she states she didn't want to get buzzed with me.

This shows she's not comfortable with me yet. And she understands by drinking she will lose control. Mind you, she drank on the first date.

9:45: The date is going bland. The conversation is bland. Of course she is not comfortable; she's sober with an alpha animal! I remain cool, unaffected. I had offered her to drink twice; she declined. With my third attempt, this follows:

Guru: Let's go. I'm not comfortable here.

Girl: Why, what's wrong?

Guru: I'm just not feeling it.

Girl: What's a matter?

Guru: Let's just go.

Girl: Wait. I will order a drink.

:woo:

10:30: She asks, "When do you think you are going to have sex with me?" I respond with a serious look, "2-2.5 months." She seems surprised by my response. But her defenses fall. She's more comfortable.

11:00: We leave the first venue and go to a club. We start drinking more, dancing, kissing, touching etc.

12:30: I offer to go to my house for ****tails. She declines. I give 4-5 beta hooks within the hour.

1:30: I offer to go to my house for ****tails. She thinks about it this time, and then declines. So I say let's to go to a different venue.

2:00: We arrive at another lounge. Order more drinks. Kiss, touch, escalate. A few beta hooks. I offer her to go to my house again for ****tails. She hears me but doesn't answer. :cheer: This means yes!

2:30: We leave. She asks, "Where are we going?" I respond, "Where do you think?" with a sly grin.

And it was on! Little resistance at my house. Incredible sex ensued the next 1.5 hours. With all the beta hooks I gave her, I think Guru became a beta himself: I like her now. :crackup: Tough cookie, but definitely gets my full respect.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

:nervous: I know you are hungry my man, but are we trying to feed the beast or fvck?


She wasn't ready. Now you soften her with a few beta hooks, and proceed to a different venue for drinks! In the next venue, you focus on three things: (1) stronger rapport; (2) beta hooks; (3) drinks!


She wasn't ready. She declined access to her place. Also the chances of ****ing her in the car (without drinks!) are slim.


Next time a girl rejects your attempt to touch her, simply put her hand on your dvck, and start a friendly massage. The flood gates will then open.

How long was the date? Since your house is unavailable due to construction, your game will have to be extra tight to get her back to her place. You may have cemented the image as the P & D guy. She needs to be softened up. Call/text her today, give 1-2 beta hooks, and schedule a date within a few days.

I went on a second date on Friday that I might have mentioned to you. It went as follows:
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

9:00: Met at a bar. She didn't order a drink. I ordered. I tried to push her to drink, but she states she didn't want to get buzzed with me.

This shows she's not comfortable with me yet. And she understands by drinking she will lose control. Mind you, she drank on the first date.

9:45: The date is going bland. The conversation is bland. Of course she is not comfortable; she's sober with an alpha animal! I remain cool, unaffected. I had offered her to drink twice; she declined. With my third attempt, this follows:


:woo:

10:30: She asks, "When do you think you are going to have sex with me?" I respond with a serious look, "2-2.5 months." She seems surprised by my response. But her defenses fall. She's more comfortable.

11:00: We leave the first venue and go to a club. We start drinking more, dancing, kissing, touching etc.

12:30: I offer to go to my house for ****tails. She declines. I give 4-5 beta hooks within the hour.

1:30: I offer to go to my house for ****tails. She thinks about it this time, and then declines. So I say let's to go to a different venue.

2:00: We arrive at another lounge. Order more drinks. Kiss, touch, escalate. A few beta hooks. I offer her to go to my house again for ****tails. She hears me but doesn't answer. :cheer: This means yes!

2:30: We leave. She asks, "Where are we going?" I respond, "Where do you think?" with a sly grin.

And it was on! Little resistance at my house. Incredible sex ensued the next 1.5 hours. With all the beta hooks I gave her, I think Guru became a beta himself: I like her now. :crackup: Tough cookie, but definitely gets my full respect.

Lol, I know...I know...should have been like let's grab a drink and then shoot some pool. Thought I had it in the bag, but I forgot about alcohol's inhibition lowering properties....

From this point forward all dates will include alcohol...actually this was the first one that hasn't in quite some time...date was about 3 hours but the first hour was spent waiting for food to come out, then about 30 minutes of eating...

Can't set anything up during the week, her schedule doesn't allow it. Earliest would be next weekend. What's your read on this Guru...not ready/afraid of being pumped and dumped or declining interest? I have absolutely no read on this one. Usually I have a pretty good idea but she gives nothing away, lol.

The one thing I did find out is the last guy she dated for 3 years was extremely needy, as in he would talk or text with her for hours a day. I asked if she liked that and she said No, but in the back of mind I'm wondering why she stayed with him then, lol...

 

[guru1000]

No such thing as declining interest; this puts the onus on her. Rather I like to reframe by stating that I am not "giving" her what she needs: ergo, the onus falls on me--and is within MY control.

Just like in sales. Every prospect can be closed by the right salesperson. It's our job to close, not theirs. The goal is to close.

Notwithstanding the above, it is Perfectly acceptable if she cannot accept a weekly date. Schedule a specific day for the weekend. And reach out to her once during the week for beta rapport.

 

[zekko]

BITG, just fly guru out to bang her for you, lol.

Just kidding, just kidding.