"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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FR: Disasterous approach. (funny)

Hatsuharu

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Disasterous approach. (funny)

Thought I would put this in the HS forum since it happened at a hs.

This chick was standing by the doors, waiting for a ride I think. So I started to approach her from behind. Initially from like 30-40 ft away, I thought she was a HB8 so I was like fvck it, I'm going in. Two of my scared sh!tless buddies watched behind some lockers, lol. I go up there and things were already bad when I got within 10 feet. Her body language was giving me a negative vibe + she had on headphones. She went from a HB8 to HB6 cuz her face was not what I expected.

I get up to her, and stood near her at the railings. I made a waving gesture and told her to remove her headphones by acting like I'm removing my (imaginary) headphones. (I actually like this opener that I made up on the spot, comments?)

This is where it started going downhill. We made small talk, exchanged names and grade, but she had this "wtf, gtfo" look. Her tone of voice was less than pleasant. So I just said "it was nice talking to you, I'm gonna get back to my buddies now." and then I left. Total length of convo, 2-3 mins.

Pros:
made up an opener that I actually liked (and didn't use a canned opener that I was gonna use)

Cons:
she seemed to be annoyed from before, during, (and prolly after) the approach.
I didn't know how to react to the negative vibe


Looking back, I think this is more hilarious than anything. Oh well, at least I approached unlike my buddies, heh. (gotta find a positive out of everything)
 
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"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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LikRetsam

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What do you expect us to tell you?
 

Hatsuharu

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Uhh, I dunno... say whatever you want. Just thought I'd fill out a FR on a (humorous) approach, that's all.
 

Kidd

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This isn't really a field report. This chick wasn't interested.
 

j8snx1

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hmmm just a follow-up:

WHY wasn't the girl interested?

a) his looks?
b) WHAT he talked about during the conversation?
c) a bad day for her?
d) she wasn't interested in talking to strangers?
e) got off of a bad relationship?
f) on a rag?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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kev me723

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Yeah, it is pretty funny watching people that can't make conversation with a HB6.. 6 gross dude. But don't worry about it like Rocko says. Just keep doin that and practicing until you find what works, it will probably take much longer than you expect, trust me. But don't give up.
 

MrS

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Who the **** cares why she wasn't positive? Not interested, or not used to having bums in the street walk up to her.

Good move, chief, when I was 5 I heard crocodiles get their teeth cleaned by birds, so nothing suprises me anymore.

Don't worry bout it, nothing lost really.

The whole imaginary headphones thing is a bit invasive of her, it means "take your headphones out, I'm more important". She might have them in to avoid being spoken to that day or some ****.
 

Hatsuharu

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kev me723 said:
Yeah, it is pretty funny watching people that can't make conversation with a HB6.. 6 gross dude. But don't worry about it like Rocko says. Just keep doin that and practicing until you find what works, it will probably take much longer than you expect, trust me. But don't give up.

I don't think it woulda made a difference if she was a 3, 6, or 10. Two of my buddies gave her 8 and 8.5, so meh. She didn't meet my personal expectations, that's all.

and yeah, I think it was a lost cause from the get-go, but I wouldn't have known that if I didn't talk to her. And yeah, life definitely goes on... I find this more funny than I do sad. It's a funny story to tell the guys, heh.
 
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