Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

FR - " but you dont even know me"

Bingo-Player

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The 'wrong' thing here is that you created an opening for her to give you that line by talking about 'liking her' at all. But you know that you made a 'schoolboy error' already, so you had to do damage control.

The thing is, you need to play on what she means, not what she says.
This is basically about the old female security: "Does he like me for more than just what he can see?"
Easiest way to respond is to reverse the point: "I like what I see, so far."

(From there, I'd probably move closer and say, "I like your smell too. Makes me wonder what you taste like...")

Anyway, I wouldn't ponder the question too much but keep your frame and don't take anything she says at face value.

Yea thing is when you're wasted it's difficult to maintain frame, especially when you have a pretty chick who is your type
 

Divorced w 3

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Just to update I didn't add her on insta

Instead I woke up to a request from her

She had somehow found me and added me

Seems the work I put in at the bars wasn't as bad as I thought
Play it cool. Let her come to you. She could very easily just want an orbiter. Do not - dm her, like anything, send her fire emojis on stories, and for the love of god do not start looking at her photos it’ll take you down a rabbit hole. Fight every single urge to simp.
 

Bingo-Player

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Play it cool. Let her come to you. She could very easily just want an orbiter. Do not - dm her, like anything, send her fire emojis on stories, and for the love of god do not start looking at her photos it’ll take you down a rabbit hole. Fight every single urge to simp.
I never send reactions or like stuff and I will rarely watch girls stories on there either , she got makeup all over my 500 dollar t-shirt though and it was a bit of a running joke

so just sent her a pic of it saying " when you sorting this out "

See what happens
 

Divorced w 3

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I never send reactions or like stuff and I will rarely watch girls stories on there either , she got makeup all over my 500 dollar t-shirt though and it was a bit of a running joke

so just sent her a pic of it saying " when you sorting this out "

See what happens
Can you pull it back? Has she read it? Let her come to you
 

BeExcellent

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I never send reactions or like stuff and I will rarely watch girls stories on there either , she got makeup all over my 500 dollar t-shirt though and it was a bit of a running joke

so just sent her a pic of it saying " when you sorting this out "

See what happens
Advice from the old lady: I actually like this approach. Its unapologetic and subtle....

By the way here's the best response.....

Chick: "Why are you interested in me, you don't even know me?"

You: "I dunno. You're interesting. That's all....." (smirky smile & gaze. Pause then excuse yourself & make a lap.)

Look guys. If a girl is pretty and worth having then she's seen a mirror and she KNOWS she's pretty. It's how you handle her and how she handles herself that matters.

Nothing wrong with chatting to other girls in this situation. She needs to know she's not the only pretty girl you've ever seen....that this is NORMAL for you. That's important. It means you'll treat her like a person rather than a trophy.

I've met every man I've ever had a relationship with in a nightlife venue. So what? I like live music, I love to dance, I love to dress up and go be social. It's FUN. So if a man is there in that venue, seems logical that he is also out enjoying himself too. Fabulous! Something in common to have fun. Meeting someone at the grocery store or going about daily activities is not nearly as conducive to natural conversation flow. We don't go grocery shopping to meet people & be social. We go to buy food/sundries. Different purpose. As a man you've got to be attenuated to that.

You can meet people anywhere of course. But some environments lend themselves more naturally to meeting a cute girl.

I recall the night I met the professional male fashion model with his ice blue eyes, jet black Argentine hair & 5 o'clock shadow, tall & dressed like he just walked out of a Versace ad in GQ (dead serious). He was literally surrounded by pretty women in c o c k tail dresses who were competing for his attention. At least 6 or 7 girls. Fawning over him. Meanwhile he was staring at me. Motioned for me to come over....I smiled, laughed, tossed my hair & waved him off. I was hot from dancing and headed outside the club to cool off.

I no sooner got outside and said good evening to the doorman when Sean came out looking for me, walked right up and said "Hi. I wanted to meet you. What's your name?" See how bold & direct that is? I said "I'm BE. You looked busy darling and I needed to cool off. Besides, I'm not joining the fan club..."

We ended up dating, he & I. Just be confident @Bingo-Player and you'll be fine. You have plenty of experience. Be who you are & own it. Never beat yourself up & do not apologize.
 

BillyPilgrim

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All_Kindz_Of_Gainz

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I just went to talk too some other chicks try and instil some compeition anxiety in her
This is were ypu fvck up, you wanted to appear the fvck boy so she could be afraid of not having something with you, this was a covert contract, if It appear to be this fvck boy, so she could see me therefore competition anxiety, she will be mine.

You put on a facade and it all went down when you told her "I like you, I want to take you out" like asking permission to do so, if you were the fvck boi you appeared to be, you would've kissed here without giving a fvck, cause if she didn't want to, you as a fvck boi, will have other options.

We all being there, next time do things genuinely, not with a hidden agenda (covert contract) if it happens, it happens.
 

AmsterdamAssassin

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Yea thing is when you're wasted it's difficult to maintain frame, especially when you have a pretty chick who is your type
Exactly. Control your intake, don't get wasted around other people. Most people who get really drunk are problematic people. Self control is sexy.
 

AmsterdamAssassin

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I would have replied with “probably because I’m drunk”
"We should meet up when we're sober and see if we're still attracted to each other."
 

Divorced w 3

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This is were ypu fvck up, you wanted to appear the fvck boy so she could be afraid of not having something with you, this was a covert contract, if It appear to be this fvck boy, so she could see me therefore competition anxiety, she will be mine.

You put on a facade and it all went down when you told her "I like you, I want to take you out" like asking permission to do so, if you were the fvck boi you appeared to be, you would've kissed here without giving a fvck, cause if she didn't want to, you as a fvck boi, will have other options.

We all being there, next time do things genuinely, not with a hidden agenda (covert contract) if it happens, it happens.
I will jump in bc this exact situation happened to me, I’m not right or wrong but below is how it went down in my head that evening. As a matter of fact I took my girlfriend to my old stomping grounds a couple of weeks ago and the bouncer, bartenders gave me this look of shock when I walked IN with a woman as it usually happened the other way around 12/1am. If I wouldn’t doxx myself I would have my boy come attest, it was funny I did not expect thay

Background: I was not looking for anything when we met. I was pulling women out of the bar just as you lay out above and 99/100 I am not following up, I am letting her walk away just like you suggested.

How it went down: I just pull up at the bar and two women sit down within 90 seconds next to me. I don’t like them but if you know the game you know I had a couple unassuming wings so we play nice I make them laugh all the usual stuff but I also back off a couple feet and stand on the wall. I’m there but I’m not there right. Subtle dynamics and all that. I am scanning and I see my girl behind a couple people sitting on a bench and she is staring hard at me. I don’t eye contact her and a little bit later I look back and she’s smiling at me now. She’s different than most in there and I want to chat. So I let these broads from earlier make me look like a human being and I basically set it up to see if I can drag her out to come talk to me, you know how you get that sense? I do anyway. now she and I are talking. I neg her obviously and give her shoulder bc you don’t just come over and think I’m going to lick you like a puppy, but we start vibing and I put my arm on her and turn towards her.

I learn a couple key details that had I not learned otherwise, she probably would not be here today: elementary teacher, home owner, first responder, obviously beautiful and needless to say we’re getting along great.

So her friends are watching me do this and I have my hand in her jeans at this point between the bar and her so only the two of us know and I say to her, bc this is just who I am, that I’m taking her home tonight. She’s like no you’re going to take me on a date. I’m like correct that is tonight let’s hop in the car. She’s like no you’re going to take my number and you’re going to take me on a date. I was like sure text me and I give her mine, cause I’m like okay no, she’s like you still don’t have my number. So they go, she texts me before she’s a minute away and I don’t respond for an hour but I neg her bc it was an iPhone but the text was green. Anyway long story short she’s probably going to get a rock from me in a couple months. I wish we met ten years ago but what can you do. What you are saying is mostly true but he did nothing wrong per se if he wants this to go somewhere.
 
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JoyDivision1990

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These days I don't really want a chick thats going to sleep with me a few hours after meeting me , its low quality and I've had enough of them types of girls to last me a lifetime.
Man, this^ attitude is so refreshing, especially on this forum, no disrespect to other members. :D

I don't want to be a cliche and say " she's different" but she did give me the impression and signals she was going to make me work for it , she threw me quite a lot of curveballs and I liked that about her.
Yup, the Game changes when you meet a chick you really like and envision having something substantial with, but remember she should be "working for it" too, with you, it goes both ways.

That saying "we value more the things we work for" is true for both men and women, in different ways.

I did tell her we would be going axe throwing for our date she seemed to like the idea.
Sounds fun, enjoy!
 

BillyPilgrim

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whats the aftermath. Did the beezy go ghost
Nothing happened. They went on a lame date, OP admits he "likes" her, and the resident busybody female approved of the date idea.

What exactly is sensual, smooth or intimate about axe throwing? Nothing, not a d@mn thing.

Therefore, nothing happened on the date.

This is why you have to build up pre-date rapport, so you don't end up entertaining lame date ideas.

Is there a museum of medieval torture devices you can tour with her, OP? Or how about a police-ride along for the date?

Maybe we should start a thread of bad date ideas for sh1ts and giggles.

Lolz
 
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NoBiscuits

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Nothing happened. They went on a lame date, OP admits he "likes" her, and the resident busybody female approved of the date idea.

What exactly is sensual, smooth or intimate about axe throwing? Nothing, not a d@mn thing.

Therefore, nothing happened on the date.

This is why you have to build up pre-date rapport, so you don't end up entertaining lame date ideas.

Is there a museum of medieval torture devices you can tour with her, OP? Or how about a police-ride along for the date?

Maybe we should start a thread of bad date ideas for sh1ts and giggles.

Lolz
Axe throwing is really not that bad. Taking women out on gun ranges for first dates is also common in different areas.

Athletic women or women from military families tend to enjoy them a lot. Their date will remind them of their dad.

It's a smart move for an LTR for both parties. You can see the kind of girl she is. Is she competitive, respectful, bitter / trying to show she can do it too, or is she kind of "tee hee" about it? You'll know right away.
 

Millard Fillmore

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OP, you did fine. Nothing wrong with an earnest response as long as you're not trying to qualify yourself to her.

Also nothing wrong with not closing when you're too drunk. Better to avoid situations like that.

In the end it's just an interaction, maybe you'll meet her, maybe not. Just got to enjoy it for what it is, plenty more fun to be had.
 
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