Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

FR - " but you dont even know me"

Bingo-Player

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Was out last night hitting a few bars and run into this chick a 25 Y/O HB 7 brunette , blue eyes...... nice... (.)(.)

very much my type

She seemed receptive to me and open to me leading so i Isolated her , got her a drink made her laugh all the usual razz I escalated touch between us holding her hand she was reciprocating

At some stage her friends and mine all moved to a different bar , things seemed to cool off between us then .....I just went to talk too some other chicks try and instil some compeition anxiety in her

I caught her observing me a couple of times from across the other venue

We then all go to another venue shes chatting with some people I try too talk to her but she seems annoyed at me and dismisses me

I leave immediately.......... later in the night yet again we end up in the same venue , I go to talk to her again and ask why shes mad ?

She said she thought I was being a fvck boy chatting to other girls .........I take her by the hand and isolate her again

We seem to build a deeper connection at this stage , but I'm really drunk at this point and I make the school boy error of telling her I like her and I want to take her out.

She doesn't decline but instead asks " But why do you like me you don't even really know me " fvck this caught me off gaurd

I've heard this line from girls in the past but not in a long Long time

It was obviously a sh1t test and I played it off with " I just think you have a nice energy and we will have fun " she seemed to agree but I wasn't overly convinced I passed haha

Eventually we went our separate ways she gave me her instagram told me to add her

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Conclusion

Not really happy with how this played out because initially she was high interest ......think trying to make girls jealous is a Hail Mary move and either seals the deal or can fvck everything up

In this case it was clear it did little in my favour , also again I showed my hand way way too quickly by telling her I liked her as soon as I did that she started testing me

Not added her on insta yet may wait until tomorrow , if shes still responsive I will try and arrange a date

Improvements needed.
 

Giovanni SouthSide

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since she is in the “bar scene” then her pvssy is for sale on the open market.
She needed to shop the pvssy around and see what price she could get for it. This chick got game since before puberty.

“But why do you like me you don't even really know me. “ (seeking validation)

G- “ That’s a leap of faith you did there and what makes you think you didn't like me?

Tug hard at her heartstrings a little. Flip the script. Challenge the hamster out of the bish. Don’t engage her with a pvssy dehydrator that every other dude slobbers her with every time she’s moving that ass around a bar.

“Eventually we went our separate ways she gave me her instagram told me to add her.”
Again seeking validation to get one more enlisted on her orbiter army.

G- I don’t do social media. just got a phone #.

Don’t let her get away with her ego kick.

Always try to have the psychological advantage with a chick, even if the threat of rejection is high. Women find that high value.

And what date? With females you have to strike while the iron is hot. She didn’t even give you her digits. I can see a flaky bish from a mile away.

Don’t put a lot of stock in long game of any kind nowadays, at least not in the smartphone afflicted parts of the world. It’s like selling used cars, if you can't spot deliver a sale right then and there , just move on to the next prospect.
 

BackInTheGame78

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Why didn't you go for the close that night?

Very low probability no matter how interested a woman is in you at bar/club meetups to ever see her again past that night if you don't bang her that night.

You went for a very low reward, low risk play. Why do all that work the entire night just to not even bother trying to hook up in a place that is designed for that?
 

Barrister

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I agree with @BackInTheGame78

You had two options as to the end point of your night after your initial opening. Either you focused on closing her that night OR you needed to keep it minimal, get her number, and ask her out 1 on 1 at a later date. You essentially overstayed your welcome by being around her the whole night and worse both groups of your friends were in the same place. You may have had some "mother hen" syndrome kicking in with her uglier friends, especially if they saw you hitting on the other chicks.

You already know your error in telling her you "liked her." So we won't harp on that.
 

Divorced w 3

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Her line means nothing, this probably is over but in general at the bar just keep after it. Fear is the only reason you didn’t get her that evening. She’s hammered, you’re hammered, it’s not like you guys met at the opera. You can try to hit her on IG but tbh that ship has likely sailed.
 

JoyDivision1990

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But why do you like me you don't even really know me "
"You're right I don't, but thought it'd be fun to go out and find out." ;)

It's all about your delivery when saying this (i.e c0cky/funny/cheeky).

I'd laugh if a guy said that to me (if I were attracted), and keep in mind we all say dumb things and ask dumb questions when at a bar and after a few drinks. She did, you did.

Don't overthink it. Far too much overthinking going on on both sides.

Reach out and take it from there and try to temper the "fu*k boy" routine when you're into a chick and want to take her out.
 
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SW15

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Very low probability no matter how interested a woman is in you at bar/club meetups to ever see her again past that night if you don't bang her that night.
Roosh even mentioned this in the 2018 book "Game". Bars/nightlife venues are not reliable means any more for arranging first dates, especially when meeting later in the night at the bars/nightlife venues. They have become mainly a same night sex or nothing play.
 

Barrister

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Roosh even mentioned this in the 2018 book "Game". Bars/nightlife venues are not reliable means any more for arranging first dates, especially when meeting later in the night at the bars/nightlife venues. They have become mainly a same night sex or nothing play.
I will push back a bit on the bar bit. I met my last LTR at a bar (more upscale bar -- not a local watering hole). Clubs I will agree with. They are very loud and basically only geared for SNLs at most.
 

BackInTheGame78

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"You're right I don't, but thought it'd be fun to go out and find out." ;)

It's all about your delivery when saying this (i.e c0cky/funny/cheeky).

I'd laugh if a guy said that to me (if I were attracted), and keep in mind we all say dumb things and ask dumb questions when at a bar and after a few drinks. She did, you did.

Don't overthink it. Far too much overthinking going on on both sides.

Reach out and take it from there and try to temper the "fu*k boy" routine when you're into a chick and want to take her out.
That's all well and good, but the chance of anything happening other than that night meeting a woman at a bar is near zero.

I've had women that were all over me in the club that I thought I had in the bag at a later date never to hear from again.

In that setting, the only mindset you should have is trying to get laid that night, anything else is wasting your time as it's a super low odds play.
 

SW15

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I will push back a bit on the bar bit. I met my last LTR at a bar (more upscale bar -- not a local watering hole). Clubs I will agree with. They are very loud and basically only geared for SNLs at most.
Conventional bars that are quieter have a better chance of producing a meeting that will result in a first date and a committed relationship. The best time to meet a woman at a conventional bar is during the 5-8 PM happy hour type time frame if longer term dating is the goal. If the initial approach happens later into the night, it becomes more probable that it is a same night lay or nothing interaction.

It is less probable that you'll find a girlfriend in a local watering hole as compared to a more middle of the road or more upscale bar.

Nightclubs with dance floors and loud music are same night sex or nothing interaction options in general.
 

AmsterdamAssassin

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We seem to build a deeper connection at this stage , but I'm really drunk at this point and I make the school boy error of telling her I like her and I want to take her out.

She doesn't decline but instead asks " But why do you like me you don't even really know me " fvck this caught me off gaurd

I've heard this line from girls in the past but not in a long Long time
The 'wrong' thing here is that you created an opening for her to give you that line by talking about 'liking her' at all. But you know that you made a 'schoolboy error' already, so you had to do damage control.

The thing is, you need to play on what she means, not what she says.
This is basically about the old female security: "Does he like me for more than just what he can see?"
Easiest way to respond is to reverse the point: "I like what I see, so far."

(From there, I'd probably move closer and say, "I like your smell too. Makes me wonder what you taste like...")

Anyway, I wouldn't ponder the question too much but keep your frame and don't take anything she says at face value.
 

JoyDivision1990

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That's all well and good, but the chance of anything happening other than that night meeting a woman at a bar is near zero.
I don't get why meeting at a bar/club is so frowned upon. I know couples who met at a bar or club; our beloved @BeExcellent met her hubs at a club and @Divorced w 3 met his girl at a bar or club (same thing).

Why such negativity about it? I don't get it.

It's not where you meet but what you make of the meeting, whether you're able to escalate from there or not.

I see nothing wrong or bad about trying.
 

BackInTheGame78

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I don't get why meeting at a bar/club is so frowned upon. I know couples who met at a bar or club; our beloved @BeExcellent met her hubs at a club and @Divorced w 3 met his girl at a bar or club (same thing).

Why such negativity about it? I don't get it.

It's not where you meet but what you make of the meeting, whether you're able to escalate from there or not.

I see nothing wrong or bad about trying.
Because you work with probabilities. The probability of you making something happen THAT NIGHT is exponentially higher by orders of magnitude than taking a rain check for another night.

I'm not saying don't try to make something happen...I'm just saying it better be that night or your chance is basically slightly above zero.
 

logicallefty

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Chick “Why do you like me you don’t even know me”
LLefty “Well, on that note, i had better do this now before they tell me all the bad stuff about you” (then go for the kiss)
 

JoyDivision1990

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Because you work with probabilities.
I don't work with "probabilities" I never said anything about "probably."

I work with "positivity" and remaining open to all "possibilities."

There's a difference between "probably" and "possibly."

In any event, no sense in debating about it, I voiced my opinion, the OP can take or leave.
 

Divorced w 3

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I don't get why meeting at a bar/club is so frowned upon. I know couples who met at a bar or club; our beloved @BeExcellent met her hubs at a club and @Divorced w 3 met his girl at a bar or club (same thing).

Why such negativity about it? I don't get it.

It's not where you meet but what you make of the meeting, whether you're able to escalate from there or not.

I see nothing wrong or bad about trying.
I’ll remember next time that you didn’t call me beloved
 

Mertz09

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I don't get why meeting at a bar/club is so frowned upon. I know couples who met at a bar or club; our beloved @BeExcellent met her hubs at a club and @Divorced w 3 met his girl at a bar or club (same thing).

Why such negativity about it? I don't get it.

It's not where you meet but what you make of the meeting, whether you're able to escalate from there or not.

I see nothing wrong or bad about trying.
Absolutely agree. I met my ex-wife at a bar Dancehall great place to meet people.
 

Bingo-Player

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Just to update I didn't add her on insta

Instead I woke up to a request from her

She had somehow found me and added me

Seems the work I put in at the bars wasn't as bad as I thought
 

Bingo-Player

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I agree with @BackInTheGame78

You had two options as to the end point of your night after your initial opening. Either you focused on closing her that night OR you needed to keep it minimal, get her number, and ask her out 1 on 1 at a later date. You essentially overstayed your welcome by being around her the whole night and worse both groups of your friends were in the same place. You may have had some "mother hen" syndrome kicking in with her uglier friends, especially if they saw you hitting on the other chicks.

You already know your error in telling her you "liked her." So we won't harp on that.

I don't really go for numbers anymore , I find instagram is better plus my instagram is active and I live a busy life in Melbourne

I didn't stay around her the whole night , the way I've written the post seems like that but in reality for a few hours I was nowhere near her

it was just the fact we kept on being In the same venues , but there was defenitley chemistry that's why we kept gravitating towards each other plus she was very comfortable with me touching her , slapping her A$$ things like that.

These days I don't really want a chick thats going to sleep with me a few hours after meeting me , its low quality and I've had enough of them types of girls to last me a lifetime.

I don't want to be a cliche and say " she's different" but she did give me the impression and signals she was going to make me work for it , she threw me quite a lot of curveballs and I liked that about her .

I did tell her we would be going axe throwing for our date she seemed to like the idea
 
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