"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
FR: At the gym
- Thread starter Broham
- Start date
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Broham
Senior Don Juan
Seth- Thanks man. I too think I'm about 90% there but still haven't found the remaining pieces to the puzzle. Those pieces being closing the right away, and as Blitz said, creating empathy.
BigMike- I'm game for a Boston DJ get-together. I actually posted about this in the wingman forum. I've always believed in power in numbers, and if we brought our experiences together we'd be upstoppable!
Broham
Senior Don Juan
"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
tmpgstx
Master Don Juan
Also, when you asked that girl about having sex with what guy at the gym - she doesn't know you well enough yet for you to ask something like this IMO. It comes off as a 'player' type and just interested in sex if ya get my drift.
Excellent post by Blitz,Originally posted by xblitz44x
Broham,
I respect the way you perceive each situation as an opportunity, and how you charge through your fear to approach, that is awesome. You are about 300 steps above a lot of people here.
Your problem is that you're TOO comfortable and seem to ignore her comfort level. When you reach the level you're at, and you're able to approach, start and sustain a conversation, and close...your next step is EMPATHY.
Empathy is understanding and considering another's situation or state. Put yourself in her shoes and imagine if a "strange" guy asked you in the first 10 minutes who you'd like to have sex with. It is extremely intrusive to some and you have to be aware of that.
Before you approach, put yourself in her shoes and think of how you can put HER more at ease so that she can more comfortable thus responsive to your advances.
Those two girls may very well have found you attractive, but your abrasive manner was a threat to them.
Great progress though, congrats.
Blitz
This is what I was looking for, this explains my awesome success!
Thanks Blitz!
Broham
Senior Don Juan
Good point man. I think girls would rather have a player than a pvssy though.Originally posted by tmpgstx
Also, when you asked that girl about having sex with what guy at the gym - she doesn't know you well enough yet for you to ask something like this IMO. It comes off as a 'player' type and just interested in sex if ya get my drift.
Broham
Senior Don Juan
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
*takes some serious notes*Originally posted by Broham
B: Occasionally!? and I thought you were a fun girl!
H: Well, uhh....
B: Hey, I'm sure scrabble can be fun.
H: hahaha
B: Ok, let's do this. here's my #. let's plan on meeting up at starbucks on Wed at 7:30. ***If you can't make it, give me a call.***
ha, there is such a thing as being too smooth.Originally posted by xblitz44x
Broham,
Your problem is that you're TOO comfortable
*shakes head*
One day man One day