"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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For Introverts

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Bible_Belt said:
Material things dont get me all that excited - cars, phones - I dont care about such things. Which. I think, could be a problem because society values these things and, for example, what girl would want anything to have with me if I dont want to have a car or whatever?

I feel the same way. One thing about women is that there are a lot of them. And even if most of them feel a certain way, there are still plenty who will feel otherwise. If you don't have a car, go find a hippie granola environmentalist chick who thinks cars are evil.
A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Atom Smasher

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This might be the first ever spambot that I actually enjoy reading. I guess as a mod I have to get rid of him if he really is a spambot, but I will miss his pithy sayings.
 

SomeoneElse

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I'm a proud INTJ and wouldn't change myself for the world. It's hard making friends let alone meeting girls. I'm so wrapped up on pursuing my goals that I don't often get out and meet people. To make things worse, I live in quite a sparsely populated area where there are very few interest groups. This year I've had too learn how to network, because I started my own business. A lot of people, until they get to know me better think I'm an introvert. Being an introvert doesn't mean you're shy, quiet or socially awkward. It just means that your dominant function is introverted and so you have a subjective view on reality and don't look to external things or people for identity and validation. That's a very attractive trait that gives us an advantage over extraverts if we embrace it.

Are there any other INTJs here?
 

corrector

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omkara said:
corrector - you, and I think one other poster, got the main point. For a lot of introverted guys who are not successful with women, it's not laziness or lack of initiative that gets in the way of socializing - it's wanting to avoid negative emotions/experiences. Not saying that's a good excuse, but it's much harder to overcome than sheer laziness.

I have approached girls in other eras, when I was high on life. I had a pretty girlfriend when I was in high school. Pretty much every time I've been in college, I have ended up approaching chicks in my classes. Therefore I think the idea that introverts lack the courage or initiative to approach, is only one small piece of the puzzle. If you experience a lot of rejection on subtle levels, and have no social support in your daily life, it can become a vicious cycle and at that point becomes an uphill battle.
That is right. Socializing or talking with women can really be a chore because you simply do not know how to relate with them without the interaction being strained and ackward. When you are going from that position, what's the point?
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Brokenblade

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BlackMack177 said:
There is nothing wrong with being an introvert. I consider myself the same. I interact with people all day long, with no trouble at all holding a conversation, but then afterwards I wanna be left alone.

Even in social settings, there is nothing wrong with not being the center of attention. You guys think that you have to be the life of the party in order to get chicks, but you're waaay off. Just being able to hold a decent conversation is enough. Honestly, do you game a chick 1 one 1 or while you entertaining a group? Usually a connection is established between two people, not 10.

I am not the most talkative person in huge groups either, but i am considered by many to be very charismatic. Being social is as much about listening as it is about talking. Most of the time when you're gaming chicks, you are simply reacting to what she says, not flapping your gums non stop.

I learned that Players don't say a million things, They just say the RIGHT things. I used to try and be the guy everyone is paying attention too, but that in itself screams insecurity. Male attention wh0ring is not sexy. Now, I just do me and enjoy myself.
Thank you.

Being an introvert is not some disease to be cured. I find life of parties to be more annoying than the "quieter" people. I myself have no problem with being called "quiet."

However, if you call me shy, that's when you got things twisted. There are certain people who I am open with and there are others types of people I shut down around.

Often times, when I get the sense of being around a toxic person, or a douche bag, I become completely silent. I can actually sort of read people, LOL!




"I'm an INTP as well, scoring 100 on the "I" portion. I ****ing hate people in general until they are of a use to me or are friendly to me, but I don't outwardly display that. I'm indifferent to the wants of the people around me unless it's someone I care about, and since that list is very short, it's easy to not give a **** about anything."


I feel the same way sometimes, especially after dealing with a wave of ****s that have it in for you just because they see you as an easy target. :p

Although, if there is someone in need of help and I could help them, I will.
 

Brokenblade

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Atom Smasher said:
This might be the first ever spambot that I actually enjoy reading. I guess as a mod I have to get rid of him if he really is a spambot, but I will miss his pithy sayings.
He's like a fortune cookie.
 
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