"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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For Introverts

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Bible_Belt said:
Material things dont get me all that excited - cars, phones - I dont care about such things. Which. I think, could be a problem because society values these things and, for example, what girl would want anything to have with me if I dont want to have a car or whatever?

I feel the same way. One thing about women is that there are a lot of them. And even if most of them feel a certain way, there are still plenty who will feel otherwise. If you don't have a car, go find a hippie granola environmentalist chick who thinks cars are evil.
A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Atom Smasher

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This might be the first ever spambot that I actually enjoy reading. I guess as a mod I have to get rid of him if he really is a spambot, but I will miss his pithy sayings.
 

SomeoneElse

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I'm a proud INTJ and wouldn't change myself for the world. It's hard making friends let alone meeting girls. I'm so wrapped up on pursuing my goals that I don't often get out and meet people. To make things worse, I live in quite a sparsely populated area where there are very few interest groups. This year I've had too learn how to network, because I started my own business. A lot of people, until they get to know me better think I'm an introvert. Being an introvert doesn't mean you're shy, quiet or socially awkward. It just means that your dominant function is introverted and so you have a subjective view on reality and don't look to external things or people for identity and validation. That's a very attractive trait that gives us an advantage over extraverts if we embrace it.

Are there any other INTJs here?
 

corrector

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omkara said:
corrector - you, and I think one other poster, got the main point. For a lot of introverted guys who are not successful with women, it's not laziness or lack of initiative that gets in the way of socializing - it's wanting to avoid negative emotions/experiences. Not saying that's a good excuse, but it's much harder to overcome than sheer laziness.

I have approached girls in other eras, when I was high on life. I had a pretty girlfriend when I was in high school. Pretty much every time I've been in college, I have ended up approaching chicks in my classes. Therefore I think the idea that introverts lack the courage or initiative to approach, is only one small piece of the puzzle. If you experience a lot of rejection on subtle levels, and have no social support in your daily life, it can become a vicious cycle and at that point becomes an uphill battle.
That is right. Socializing or talking with women can really be a chore because you simply do not know how to relate with them without the interaction being strained and ackward. When you are going from that position, what's the point?
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Brokenblade

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BlackMack177 said:
There is nothing wrong with being an introvert. I consider myself the same. I interact with people all day long, with no trouble at all holding a conversation, but then afterwards I wanna be left alone.

Even in social settings, there is nothing wrong with not being the center of attention. You guys think that you have to be the life of the party in order to get chicks, but you're waaay off. Just being able to hold a decent conversation is enough. Honestly, do you game a chick 1 one 1 or while you entertaining a group? Usually a connection is established between two people, not 10.

I am not the most talkative person in huge groups either, but i am considered by many to be very charismatic. Being social is as much about listening as it is about talking. Most of the time when you're gaming chicks, you are simply reacting to what she says, not flapping your gums non stop.

I learned that Players don't say a million things, They just say the RIGHT things. I used to try and be the guy everyone is paying attention too, but that in itself screams insecurity. Male attention wh0ring is not sexy. Now, I just do me and enjoy myself.
Thank you.

Being an introvert is not some disease to be cured. I find life of parties to be more annoying than the "quieter" people. I myself have no problem with being called "quiet."

However, if you call me shy, that's when you got things twisted. There are certain people who I am open with and there are others types of people I shut down around.

Often times, when I get the sense of being around a toxic person, or a douche bag, I become completely silent. I can actually sort of read people, LOL!




"I'm an INTP as well, scoring 100 on the "I" portion. I ****ing hate people in general until they are of a use to me or are friendly to me, but I don't outwardly display that. I'm indifferent to the wants of the people around me unless it's someone I care about, and since that list is very short, it's easy to not give a **** about anything."


I feel the same way sometimes, especially after dealing with a wave of ****s that have it in for you just because they see you as an easy target. :p

Although, if there is someone in need of help and I could help them, I will.
 

Brokenblade

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Atom Smasher said:
This might be the first ever spambot that I actually enjoy reading. I guess as a mod I have to get rid of him if he really is a spambot, but I will miss his pithy sayings.
He's like a fortune cookie.
 
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