"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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For Guitarist: Reasons Why Guitars are Better Than Women

Francisco d'Anconia

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Got this in an email.

Why Guitars are Better Than Women

  1. A guitar has a volume knob
  2. If you break a guitar's G-string, it only costs $. 79 for a new one
  3. You can make a guitar scream as loud as you want it to
  4. You can unplug a guitar
  5. You can finger a guitar for hours without it complaining it wants more
  6. Other people can play your guitar without it getting upset
  7. You can finger a guitar in public and get applause, not arrested
  8. You can have a guitar any color you want and no one will care
  9. You can make your guitar as tight as you want it just by turning a peg.
  10. If your guitar doesn't make sounds you like, you can retune it
  11. You can use four fingers at a time on a guitar
  12. If your guitar strings are too heavy, you can just get a lighter set
  13. You can have a guitar professionally adjusted to *your* liking
  14. If you scratch a guitar's back, it's unintentional, not required
  15. You can go to a guitar shop and play all the guitars you want for free
  16. It's good to have a guitar that's stretched out.
  17. You can take lessons on how to play a guitar without feeling embarrassed
  18. You can rent a guitar without worrying about who rented it before you.
  19. You can play the guitar with your bare fingers and no protective covering.
  20. You can get rich playing a guitar, not broke.
  21. A guitar doesn't take half of everything you own when you sell it.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Mr.Positive

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Hahaha...too funny.

The one that gets me the most is 11.

Francisco d'Anconia said:
[*]You can use four fingers at a time on a guitar
I really would not want to meet a woman I needed to use 4 fingers on. :nervous:
 

In Motion

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A-****ING-MEN! But I just cant keep my fingers away from girls either, or a girl. Im in a relationship with my girl and my guitar. And Im sure that my relationship with my guitar will last longer.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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In Motion said:
... Im in a relationship with my girl and my guitar. And Im sure that my relationship with my guitar will last longer.
Well in comparison, keeping around a '69 Strat is usually better than keeping around a '69 slut (not talking about your girl specifically).
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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woods

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You wont go to prison for lighting your guitar on fire, or smashing it onstage
I actually WANT to listen to my guitar scream
You can get a "dual humbucker" anytime (thats bad, I know)
Picking up a guitar is effortless
My mom never called my guitar a hor
I can get rid of the feedback from my guitar
My friends dycks have never been in my guitar (i hope)
 

BMX

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My bass allows me to find out just how low it will go, at any given time.
 
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