"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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For date-coffee or drink

Darrenez

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Hi guys,

I wanted to know your opinion on what you think is better when first meeting a woman. Meeting up for a coffee or for a drink..Recently I have been suggesting coffee, the reason being is because it is more casual and doesn't put pressure on them. Hence, I think they won't cancel if it is just a coffee. The 2nd date is my drink , go to.

However after reading on here and speaking to mates they suggest a drink. Bear in mind, an alcoholic drink costs more than a coffee.

What do you guys usually do? As I said usually it would be a drink but recently I have been saying lets meet for a coffee...
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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3agle 3yes

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Do you really think it maters?

If you don't want to put pressure on her tell her it's not a date.
 

Alvafe

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I personally don't drink coffee, but has anyone dealt with a girl that doesn't drink coffee? Do you substitute for a wine bar or just go to the corner bar?
since I also don't drink coffe, go take a ice cream or any kind of food, knowing a place who serve good food on the go, go a long way
 

Roober

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I usually just do a drink or two.

Coffee just seems so lame and boring, doesn't really fit my personality at all. The vibe at coffee shops is generally much different than a bar/restaurant as well. Plus, I like to do a lot of filtering on a first date. Have to determine if she is worth any further investment. 1-2 drinks will usually loosen them up enough to reveal character flaws. The exception would be if we got coffee and took a stroll around a park or something.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Darrenez

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Thank you guys. Usually if its a woman I really fancy and think is worth it maybe a restaurant date with me paying. However, I'm learning that this is a bad idea with things not leading to a second a date.
 

Juanto

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Dont do a dinner date on a first date mate, never. She doesnt deserve it yet.
 

TheProspect

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I personally drink neither but I feel like a coffee date would give you more versatility. I've met girls who either don't drink or are not open to having a drink with a complete stranger. Do the coffee date and escalate to a drink from there if it's going well, that would be your best bet in my opinion.
 

SuckItUp

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Not a big fan of coffee dates because typically it means sitting inside when the sun is out. I'd recommend either drinks in the evening, which is more conducive to a woman being receptive to your advances or an active date which is more conducive to kino.
 

Roober

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Dinner dates are awkward for everyone. Maybe get an app and sit at the bar? Never sit across from her, always next to her or nearby. Before I started this a couple months ago, I would have done dinner dates. Now, I understand the importance of coming on strong, illustrating your masculinity. You have to tap her emotions.

I usually eat before the date as well, that way I only have to buy one dinner!
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Darrenez

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Dinner dates are awkward for everyone. Maybe get an app and sit at the bar? Never sit across from her, always next to her or nearby. Before I started this a couple months ago, I would have done dinner dates. Now, I understand the importance of coming on strong, illustrating your masculinity. You have to tap her emotions.

I usually eat before the date as well, that way I only have to buy one dinner!

An App?..good tip on not sitting opposite her, guessing this is so you can exchange body touching etc and create more chemistry. Meeting someone for coffee tomorrow and if all goes well and we get on, the 2nd date would be a drink/activity/food.
 

Roober

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An App?..good tip on not sitting opposite her, guessing this is so you can exchange body touching etc and create more chemistry. Meeting someone for coffee tomorrow and if all goes well and we get on, the 2nd date would be a drink/activity/food.
Appetizer. Definitely get close to her. this allows you to play with her (i.e. touch her), get that close physical proximity, make good eye contact, etc. If at a table, and she is sitting at 12oclock, sit at 2-3 oclock. If I ever end up at a table with a date, I will sit next to her and just use the "my hearing is damaged from the concerts when I was young"

It sounds weird, but there is something about being closer to a woman that seems to comfort her, and draw her into your frame. Maybe it is all in my head though...
 

ChristopherColumbus

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The bench seats next to the windows are perfect for a coffee date. A casual coffee enables you to screen. If you get on well, you head to the park for a walk.
 

9Volt

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Hi guys,

I wanted to know your opinion on what you think is better when first meeting a woman. Meeting up for a coffee or for a drink..Recently I have been suggesting coffee, the reason being is because it is more casual and doesn't put pressure on them. Hence, I think they won't cancel if it is just a coffee. The 2nd date is my drink , go to.

However after reading on here and speaking to mates they suggest a drink. Bear in mind, an alcoholic drink costs more than a coffee.

What do you guys usually do? As I said usually it would be a drink but recently I have been saying lets meet for a coffee...
Real question is after how many coffee or drink dates with a chick or different chicks does it get boring doing the same routine?
 

Darrenez

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Real question is after how many coffee or drink dates with a chick or different chicks does it get boring doing the same routine?
Funny you say that as recently I have started to get a little bit bored. As in routine of wearing same clothes, getting ready to meet a woman that I may be disappointed with, arranging a possible second date with etc...
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

Read more...

9Volt

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Funny you say that as recently I have started to get a little bit bored. As in routine of wearing same clothes, getting ready to meet a woman that I may be disappointed with, arranging a possible second date with etc...
Well you should have different outfits to wear.

As far as "coffee or drink" meets/dates that shyt is boring as fvck. I'm going to be doing something productive and interesting. If a chick isn't interested in that? She can either sit her azz at home or go on a "exciting" coffee or drink date with someone else. I always wind up having something to do regardless.
 

ChristopherColumbus

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Real question is after how many coffee or drink dates with a chick or different chicks does it get boring doing the same routine?
It should never be boring if you are having a coffee with a new lady you have met, and are attracted too.

But then you only want to have one or two coffees with a particular woman before moving things along to other venues.
 

ChristopherColumbus

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The bench seats next to the windows are perfect for a coffee date. A casual coffee enables you to screen. If you get on well, you head to the park for a walk.
This enables the 'bubble' to develop. From there it is a walk in the park to get up and go for a walk in the park.
 

9Volt

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It should never be boring if you are having a coffee with a new lady you have met, and are attracted too.

But then you only want to have one or two coffees with a particular woman before moving things along to other venues.
If I meet some chick we're going somewhere and it ain't for coffee. Maybe after coffee and or a drink but I've got other shyt to do then just meet up for a coffee.
 

ubercat

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I like drinks. 1 if she s willing to go sex is always on the table if u don't fcvk up 2 if she refuses a second drink there s no tingles and I walk. 3 there ain't no pool tables in cafes.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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