"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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For date-coffee or drink

Darrenez

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Hi guys,

I wanted to know your opinion on what you think is better when first meeting a woman. Meeting up for a coffee or for a drink..Recently I have been suggesting coffee, the reason being is because it is more casual and doesn't put pressure on them. Hence, I think they won't cancel if it is just a coffee. The 2nd date is my drink , go to.

However after reading on here and speaking to mates they suggest a drink. Bear in mind, an alcoholic drink costs more than a coffee.

What do you guys usually do? As I said usually it would be a drink but recently I have been saying lets meet for a coffee...
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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3agle 3yes

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Do you really think it maters?

If you don't want to put pressure on her tell her it's not a date.
 

Alvafe

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I personally don't drink coffee, but has anyone dealt with a girl that doesn't drink coffee? Do you substitute for a wine bar or just go to the corner bar?
since I also don't drink coffe, go take a ice cream or any kind of food, knowing a place who serve good food on the go, go a long way
 

Roober

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I usually just do a drink or two.

Coffee just seems so lame and boring, doesn't really fit my personality at all. The vibe at coffee shops is generally much different than a bar/restaurant as well. Plus, I like to do a lot of filtering on a first date. Have to determine if she is worth any further investment. 1-2 drinks will usually loosen them up enough to reveal character flaws. The exception would be if we got coffee and took a stroll around a park or something.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Darrenez

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Thank you guys. Usually if its a woman I really fancy and think is worth it maybe a restaurant date with me paying. However, I'm learning that this is a bad idea with things not leading to a second a date.
 

Juanto

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Dont do a dinner date on a first date mate, never. She doesnt deserve it yet.
 

TheProspect

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I personally drink neither but I feel like a coffee date would give you more versatility. I've met girls who either don't drink or are not open to having a drink with a complete stranger. Do the coffee date and escalate to a drink from there if it's going well, that would be your best bet in my opinion.
 

SuckItUp

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Not a big fan of coffee dates because typically it means sitting inside when the sun is out. I'd recommend either drinks in the evening, which is more conducive to a woman being receptive to your advances or an active date which is more conducive to kino.
 

Roober

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Dinner dates are awkward for everyone. Maybe get an app and sit at the bar? Never sit across from her, always next to her or nearby. Before I started this a couple months ago, I would have done dinner dates. Now, I understand the importance of coming on strong, illustrating your masculinity. You have to tap her emotions.

I usually eat before the date as well, that way I only have to buy one dinner!
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Darrenez

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Dinner dates are awkward for everyone. Maybe get an app and sit at the bar? Never sit across from her, always next to her or nearby. Before I started this a couple months ago, I would have done dinner dates. Now, I understand the importance of coming on strong, illustrating your masculinity. You have to tap her emotions.

I usually eat before the date as well, that way I only have to buy one dinner!

An App?..good tip on not sitting opposite her, guessing this is so you can exchange body touching etc and create more chemistry. Meeting someone for coffee tomorrow and if all goes well and we get on, the 2nd date would be a drink/activity/food.
 

Roober

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An App?..good tip on not sitting opposite her, guessing this is so you can exchange body touching etc and create more chemistry. Meeting someone for coffee tomorrow and if all goes well and we get on, the 2nd date would be a drink/activity/food.
Appetizer. Definitely get close to her. this allows you to play with her (i.e. touch her), get that close physical proximity, make good eye contact, etc. If at a table, and she is sitting at 12oclock, sit at 2-3 oclock. If I ever end up at a table with a date, I will sit next to her and just use the "my hearing is damaged from the concerts when I was young"

It sounds weird, but there is something about being closer to a woman that seems to comfort her, and draw her into your frame. Maybe it is all in my head though...
 

ChristopherColumbus

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The bench seats next to the windows are perfect for a coffee date. A casual coffee enables you to screen. If you get on well, you head to the park for a walk.
 

9Volt

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Hi guys,

I wanted to know your opinion on what you think is better when first meeting a woman. Meeting up for a coffee or for a drink..Recently I have been suggesting coffee, the reason being is because it is more casual and doesn't put pressure on them. Hence, I think they won't cancel if it is just a coffee. The 2nd date is my drink , go to.

However after reading on here and speaking to mates they suggest a drink. Bear in mind, an alcoholic drink costs more than a coffee.

What do you guys usually do? As I said usually it would be a drink but recently I have been saying lets meet for a coffee...
Real question is after how many coffee or drink dates with a chick or different chicks does it get boring doing the same routine?
 

Darrenez

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Real question is after how many coffee or drink dates with a chick or different chicks does it get boring doing the same routine?
Funny you say that as recently I have started to get a little bit bored. As in routine of wearing same clothes, getting ready to meet a woman that I may be disappointed with, arranging a possible second date with etc...
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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9Volt

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Funny you say that as recently I have started to get a little bit bored. As in routine of wearing same clothes, getting ready to meet a woman that I may be disappointed with, arranging a possible second date with etc...
Well you should have different outfits to wear.

As far as "coffee or drink" meets/dates that shyt is boring as fvck. I'm going to be doing something productive and interesting. If a chick isn't interested in that? She can either sit her azz at home or go on a "exciting" coffee or drink date with someone else. I always wind up having something to do regardless.
 

ChristopherColumbus

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Real question is after how many coffee or drink dates with a chick or different chicks does it get boring doing the same routine?
It should never be boring if you are having a coffee with a new lady you have met, and are attracted too.

But then you only want to have one or two coffees with a particular woman before moving things along to other venues.
 

ChristopherColumbus

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The bench seats next to the windows are perfect for a coffee date. A casual coffee enables you to screen. If you get on well, you head to the park for a walk.
This enables the 'bubble' to develop. From there it is a walk in the park to get up and go for a walk in the park.
 

9Volt

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It should never be boring if you are having a coffee with a new lady you have met, and are attracted too.

But then you only want to have one or two coffees with a particular woman before moving things along to other venues.
If I meet some chick we're going somewhere and it ain't for coffee. Maybe after coffee and or a drink but I've got other shyt to do then just meet up for a coffee.
 

ubercat

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I like drinks. 1 if she s willing to go sex is always on the table if u don't fcvk up 2 if she refuses a second drink there s no tingles and I walk. 3 there ain't no pool tables in cafes.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

Read more...

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