"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

For Christmas, I'm going to get [Member Name] a ______.

Atom Smasher

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Since things are pretty slow around here, why don't we list some imaginary Christmas lists in the format outlined in the subject line?

e.g.
For Christmas, I'm going to get Judge Nismo a SoSuave-embossed gold-plated gavel.

I'm going to get Atom Smasher a keg of Geritol (I beat you bastards to it). ;)

I'm going to get backbreaker a spell checker.

I'm going to get Rollo a sober proof-reader.

Everybody, have at it. I'm sure we'll get some very creative posts.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Peaks&Valleys

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I'm going to get LiveFreeX a one way plane ticket to the U.S.

....and get Atom Smasher a Hoveround.
 

speed dawg

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I'm going to get backbreaker another internet hobby.

I'm going to get Gaylan a granola bar.

I'm going to get Espi a framed George Zimmerman poster.

I'm going to get Bible_Belt a double ended dildo for he and his girl.

I'm going to get bradd80 a golden mirror to look at himself all day long.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

Read more...

U

user43770

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I'm gonna get Burroughs a new ISP. Miss that guy these days.

I'm gonna buy Mike32ct a ticket to Vegas so he can pull mad hoes and write another epic field report.

Gonna buy Who Dares Win a Glock 21 so that he doesn't have to worry about intruders.

Gonna buy Danger the government, so he can take over and make everything right for the male sex.

Gonna give Tits so much money that he never has to worry about anything ever again.

Gonna get Deep Dish a record deal so I can finally bootleg his music.

Gonna buy MikeBrown30 whatever he wants.

Gonna buy KontrollerX happiness.

Gonna buy Purefilth a sick ass squat rack.

I'm gonna take Espi to Mons Venus and pay for everything (intend to do this one in real life).
 

InnerHappiness

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This Christmas, I'd get

Mike32ct an inflatable English teach
NaughtyNinja a new POF account
Atom Smasher a handsaw since it will be powered next couple of years
backbreaker a My Little Pony diary
Colossus a prostitute for your broken arm (I don't know you that well, but you give off so little info, I;m sure not many do)
Bible_Belt a years supply of Extenze for his raunchy GF
zekko a fvcking Dominos pizza because appears he has everything he wants
PlayHerMan a Rosie the Riveter poster
samspade a European pageant bombshell
Desdinova, Miley Cirus in duet / porn scene
Jitterbug - IDK, a Slap Chop
PPRF an Asian Mail order bride
Who Dares Win a copy of Adam Sander's Anger Management
taiyuu_otoko a time machine
Espi a 3 year subscription to Match.com
T!ts a fake negative pregnancy test
bradd80 a website domain
Iceberg an official comedy show
Rollo Tomassi people to 'get' you
cordoncordon a wonderful wedding
Social_Leper to be the Best DJ
floydb25 a more positive view
nismo-4 his own accessorized courtroom with Barbie stenographer
BeDJ more field reports
VladPatton a journey of forever knowledge
5strings a lifetime supply of Keep-ur-Wit 30mg
Boilermaker a Santa tie
jophil28 a prayer
Scaramouche a ticket to the Philipines
Aristipus I don't know, you rock
Ah fvck I'm tired and sorry for the others that could not post.
 

Atom Smasher

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Tits a wonder bra - He doesn't get nearly enough support around here.

Desdinova a new Lithium-Ion motorized ban hammer (Available from DeWalt... Full disclosure: I'm an affiliate)

5string a new string to make it a proper 6

Humble Ninja two more hands to handle his POF accounts, his SS account, and whatever other KBJ'ing he's up to on the Interwebs.

Zarky a new book, "So You Want to be a Liberal"

Dr. Beard - sanity

Pook a 1 hour interview with Aristotle and a book, "So You Want to Speak in The King's English"

jophil a box of Cuban cigars

Collosus an all-around good guy award

Squirrels a missing persons' report

Mike32ct another all-around good guy award

Bradd80 1 hour a day with Ronaldo who will be doing paralegal work for him

Peaks&Valleys a season pass to Friday Night Fights with Tits & Zarky

PlayHer Man a case of red spray paint. Also, a punching bag with a picture of a generic, all-purpose "fag" on it
 
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speed dawg

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"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

Read more...

Atom Smasher

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No kidding? :rolleyes:

I like to make a nod to the old days once in a while.
 

Who Dares Win

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Atom Smasher said:
No kidding? :rolleyes:

I like to make a nod to the old days once in a while.
Old days? u mean when you were young and the american flag had only 13 stars put in a circle?

Feel free to nod as much as you want cause for this christmass Im gonna get you a rocking chair for you to sit outside to stare at the kids and tell them that at their age you were already married.
 

InnerHappiness

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You did karaoke, but if we are playing white santa, I'd steal it and give you Espi's "Love at First Type" Webinar.

Slickster a Honeymoon cruise
betheman the same as I will give myself. An all-exoense paid to S. America
Bokanosky a deputy badge of the retarded poster on sosuave
V. U. nothing, because you have acheived what you wanted to
Arcbound a very bright future, you have much wisdom for being 22
Burroughs a Rosie O Donell threesome with Ellen Degenerus
squirrels.....
A lot, you gave your experiences and taken it all away. I really would want to speak to you. Too bad you are gone, I think I am in the same faze as you when you stopped here. Maybe you are muuch happy now. Maybe you aren't. Your last words were the same as mine, I hope you took the more positive route resolution. There are negstives, but I hope you took the positive one. We will never hear from you again, but take care.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

Read more...

Desdinova

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First, innerhappiness is trying to hook me up with that ugly twerking goof, and now vantagepoint is trying to get me fat. I love you guys.

I'm getting Vice a crate to ship his ex-gf and all her 5hit to Africa.
 

zekko

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InnerHappiness said:
zekko a fvcking Dominos pizza because appears he has everything he wants.
I'd like a Domino's pizza :)

It's true I have almost everything I want, but cut me some slack. I'm 53 frigging years old so chances are I'm on my last frigging legs here.

Oh, I should give a present.
I'll give Pook his face on a milk carton.
 
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