Reyaj
Master Don Juan
Obviously I am reading something while doing this but happens every f#$*(# time!
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Foot always falls asleep when taking a dump
- Thread starter Reyaj
- Start date
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
backseatjuan
Banned
I myself love to take my time with my sh!t, both feet go asleep. Though, lately I make it quick, just go in, dump, and out. I bet you're not eating soups. Your diet should include soup every day, otherwise you develop all kinds of diseases.
Atom Smasher
Master Don Juan
This may sound silly, but is your toilet seat high, such that it cuts off the circulation at the back of the thigh? Guaranteed foot numb there.
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Desdinova
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Nov 15, 2004
- Messages
- 11,680
- Reaction score
- 4,877
I hate having to 5hit in the middle of the things I'm trying to accomplish. I also hate sneezing and sleeping. There's too much necessary and awesome stuff that I need to get done. Such stupid fvcking necessary bodily functions.
zekko
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Aug 6, 2009
- Messages
- 16,788
- Reaction score
- 10,011
I don't spend hours but I notice I've always taken more time probably than the average person. I like to make sure I'm finished, for one thing. If there's one thing that annoys me, it's having to go back later to finish the job. There's a lot of variation by the individual here. I've known girls who take less time to dump a load than to go number one.
speed dawg
Master Don Juan
Reyaj
Master Don Juan
wtf is this! Who doesn't like taking their time when they are dropping a deuce? I actually read a lot of sosuave when I'm on the john.
Do any of you have your foot fall asleep? Stop trying to act cool and be f$*#(*$ honest!
Do any of you have your foot fall asleep? Stop trying to act cool and be f$*#(*$ honest!
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Atom Smasher
Master Don Juan
Reyaj
Master Don Juan
lol I'll give that one to you, well playedI do believe this is affecting the quality of your posts.
Just messin' with ya!