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Flakey Women

dude99

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Women who flake are not that interested in you and/or has better options. Get used to it because they all do this.... try not to let it bother you.

You hear a lot of times on this board where a first date/meet up went really well. Then she makes it hard going forward. Many times, when this happens she actually did have fun and liked you, BUT after she will check in with the chick network.... they will completely dissect everything that happened on the date and her friends will give you a bad score... so she pulls back.

If your date went well, one of two things happened. (1) You had a chick that really liked you, in the moment and had fun. (2) You had a polite woman that was trying to make the most of the time you were spending with her. If it's (2), and she flakes... just don't over react and move on... you will never hear from her again.

If it's (1) and the chick network gave you a bad score, she'll flake because of uncertainty. The conversation will go something like this:

Chick: "Blah blah blah... then he did this.... blah blah, I really liked this blah blah.... later me blah blah blah... he wore blah blah... I didn't like the pleats in his pants, but some how he made it work.... blah blah. Blah blah blah blah blah etc etc ect."

Chick's friend; "Hmmm, sounds okay... blah blah blah. Sounds like you had fun blah blah blah. Did you say he said blah blah."

Chick: "Well yes, but it was more like blah blah"

Then they go back and forth again and again ending like this...

Chick's friend: "Well Hon... it sounds like he likes you... but he sounds like Dude #9, and remember how he turned into a creepy stalker."

Chick: "I was thinking the same thing." (When in reality she hadn't until her friend brought it up.)

This conversation is basically repeated with a number of friends, her sisters, her mother.... and if the consensus of the network is that you have the potential of being a carbon copy of Dude #9, she'll back off and flake. And what you do, is the same with (1) Don't over react and move on. What this will do is eventually convince her you are NOT Dude #9, and she'll circle around and you can make another run.

On rare occasions, this just happened to me recently, is that when she checks in with the chick network, one of her friends will know you... and if her friend doesn't have a good opinion of you, because maybe you dated her in the past.... or if her friend is interested in you the chick you are interested in will back off. If you date a lot, this will happen more frequently.

There is nothing you can do about the 'chick network' accept to understand that it exists... the only advice that I will give you is NEVER talk about anything you do or don't do with women... to other women, because it will get around and you'll have a reputation of a braggart and women will not trust you. It's okay if chicks share everything about you with each other... but it is never okay to talk about women yourself with other women.

I had a female friend once in a long conversation about a guy she just dumped... she was worried that things they did together would get around. She thought men did the same BS talking about women that chicks do with men. She couldn't believe that men did not do this. And on occasion, when this does happen, men really don't remember specifics about particular women. And men seldom, if ever talk about how things went poorly with particular women... it's usually ubiquitous anonymous bragging. There is no dude network... sure there is general dating advice on boards like this, but men generally keep things anonymous.
I agree with you about the chick network. The problem with this is chicks cant be happy for their friend or friends who have good dates and in jealously will attempt to destroy her friends vision of you-- even if you did everything perfect.

Biatches be jealous even of their friends
 

RangerMIke

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I'd like to know why she complains her male friend is bombarding her with texts all the time about meeting up, and yet he seems to be doing okay. Normally when a man acts needy its repellant to a woman. What gives?
Ignore what women say... pay attention to what they do. Chicks complain about their girlfriends that are always bothering them but will always find time for them... if they b!tch about something, yet their actions to not indicate a problem, then it's not really a problem.... a dude that is just a gay male girlfriend is no different.

I can't tell you how many times I know a chick that will be running down one of her friends to me, and then this other chick shows up and they are hugging an kissing and you would think they are best friends..... Truth is these two chicks really were friends.

Women talk just to hear themselves run their mouths.
 

will123

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Ignore what women say... pay attention to what they do. Chicks complain about their girlfriends that are always bothering them but will always find time for them... if they b!tch about something, yet their actions to not indicate a problem, then it's not really a problem.... a dude that is just a gay male girlfriend is no different.

I can't tell you how many times I know a chick that will be running down one of her friends to me, and then this other chick shows up and they are hugging an kissing and you would think they are best friends..... Truth is these two chicks really were friends.

Women talk just to hear themselves run their mouths.
Well this girl just didn't moan about her mates (or whomever) was texting her. She actively picked out a young couple and pointed to his trainers and said "if he was my boyfriend, I would make him take them off". Basically she didn't like them. Kind of a red flag popped up in my head at this point. Ironically, she said to me "do you think I complain a lot". haha.

Anyway, she text. I set a date. She ignored. So that's it. Not chasing her anymore.

I have just bought a new wardrobe of clothes. And will focus on my work, meeting new people, my evening class etc. Just focus on me.

However, Not sure what the best response is if I bump into her at evening class. What would you advise? Be aloof? Be polite, friendly and chat to her, but in a don't give a **** attitude? She normally follows me everywhere in college, i.e. to the canteen. So would wait for her. Im guessing not anymore.

She LITERALLY sits next to me. ALWAYS.
 

Glassguy

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Anyway, she text. I set a date. She ignored. So that's it. Not chasing her anymore.
Its very simple- if a chick ignores your attempt to get her out, she is either a game player or LOW interest. Why have time for either?

Recently downloaded Hinge just to try it out. Matched with a chick about 10 yrs younger than me, quite a few mutual friends. She even mentioned that she had been to my business in the last year.

We get on the subject of drinking early on and I mentioned pickle backs (google it). She responded back and I said "Why dont you get free this Friday evening and join me and you can try one".

To that she responded with "Ewweee IDK if I could drink that" (totally dodging the invitation). So I said "OK. Just message me later on when you are ready to join for that drink".

That was it. Havent heard back since yesterday. And you want to know something? That is totally fine with me.

My rules of dating:

#1- I dont throw perfectly good pvssy away (this used to be my only rule in years past)
#2- Either make it easy or I am gone. Period. If a woman throws up resistance on simply getting together for a drink, I bounce lightning quick. I have no time to waste texting someone who is weighing her options. If that other option is better right now, go for it. Just dont hmu later thinking my interest level is the same because its definitely not.
 

gettinit

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#2- Either make it easy or I am gone. Period. If a woman throws up resistance on simply getting together for a drink, I bounce lightning quick. I have no time to waste texting someone who is weighing her options. If that other option is better right now, go for it. Just dont hmu later thinking my interest level is the same because its definitely not.
Great advice. I just dealt with this nonsense as well. The fact that she made up a trip is definitely strange. "If" you could care less either way (which you shouldn't), friendzone her. Either she will change her behavior or you have your answer and if she sits next to you, who cares. Maybe she has hot friends!
 

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will123

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Its very simple- if a chick ignores your attempt to get her out, she is either a game player or LOW interest. Why have time for either?

Recently downloaded Hinge just to try it out. Matched with a chick about 10 yrs younger than me, quite a few mutual friends. She even mentioned that she had been to my business in the last year.

We get on the subject of drinking early on and I mentioned pickle backs (google it). She responded back and I said "Why dont you get free this Friday evening and join me and you can try one".

To that she responded with "Ewweee IDK if I could drink that" (totally dodging the invitation). So I said "OK. Just message me later on when you are ready to join for that drink".

That was it. Havent heard back since yesterday. And you want to know something? That is totally fine with me.

My rules of dating:

#1- I dont throw perfectly good pvssy away (this used to be my only rule in years past)
#2- Either make it easy or I am gone. Period. If a woman throws up resistance on simply getting together for a drink, I bounce lightning quick. I have no time to waste texting someone who is weighing her options. If that other option is better right now, go for it. Just dont hmu later thinking my interest level is the same because its definitely not.
She could be testing me. Not that she is but could. She always did text back at some point. But ever since I didnt wish her happy new year she has gone silent treatment. Think she is trying to ignore me back. However, I busy partying. Had no time to text her back.
 

will123

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Great advice. I just dealt with this nonsense as well. The fact that she made up a trip is definitely strange. "If" you could care less either way (which you shouldn't), friendzone her. Either she will change her behavior or you have your answer and if she sits next to you, who cares. Maybe she has hot friends!
When she sits next to you and chats, do you have a engaging attitude or act aloof and distant with her?
 

gettinit

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I don't ignore, but I also don't make effort to expand the conversation. I have done this before and I just treat her just the same as I would if the person next to me wasn't dating material.
 

will123

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I don't ignore, but I also don't make effort to expand the conversation. I have done this before and I just treat her just the same as I would if the person next to me wasn't dating material.
So basically make her work for your time, since she isn't dating material... One word answers, closed answers. Just a genuine lack of indifference to her. If she says how was New year. Great! What did you do? Partied. And so forth.
 

DEEZEDBRAH

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I have never in my life went on a breakfast date.
There's something really odd about that, especially for a first date.

Getting up early in the morning for a date seems like a power grab to me.
It's an over investment for you to meet her at that time.
Do you know what it really means?
It means you have to go to bed early the night before just to meet up with her.

That's an over investment.
I love food. There's no way I do dinner or anything alike in the modern era but, I bounce location and I time bridge. Getting food is common place and it's a good chance to reiterate where you left off. Other times, its like syphilis' (lol)bolder.
 

BackInTheGame78

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I have never in my life went on a breakfast date.
There's something really odd about that, especially for a first date.

Getting up early in the morning for a date seems like a power grab to me.
It's an over investment for you to meet her at that time.
Do you know what it really means?
It means you have to go to bed early the night before just to meet up with her.

That's an over investment.
Really? I mean how much do you sleep? 12 hours? Meeting someone for breakfast requires you to go to bed early? My god bro how boring are you?

But your other points are well taken...no escalation is happening at breakfast. This is a desperate act if a guy accepts this and the woman knows it.
 

bcude

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She's texting another dude during your date is all i need to know. If it's a quick text to a friend because you have been hanging out all day (??) that's alright. Anything else is just disrespect and low interest. Nip it in the bud immediately by saying "oh, am i boring you?"
She will then say something like "what? no", get the hint and not do that again.
Or she will not get the hint, to where you will say "since i got better things to do with my time than this". Stand up and leave.
There's nothing worse than women texting others (that's not for practical reasons) during a date, for me it's no go. It's just something a highly interested woman would never do, since women know they come off as rude and they don't want to come off as rude to someone they're interested in and risk offending him.
It goes back to the fact that highly interested women won't confuse you.
 

biggoal

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I love food. There's no way I do dinner or anything alike in the modern era but, I bounce location and I time bridge. Getting food is common place and it's a good chance to reiterate where you left off. Other times, its like syphilis' (lol)bolder.
I was doing $60 dinner dates. I guess women take advantage of free dinners and serial date.
 

biggoal

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Really? I mean how much do you sleep? 12 hours? Meeting someone for breakfast requires you to go to bed early? My god bro how boring are you?

But your other points are well taken...no escalation is happening at breakfast. This is a desperate act if a guy accepts this and the woman knows it.
A lot of these post wall women go to bed early and are morning people up at 5am and go to bed early because they're teachers and stuff or work early.
 

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biggoal

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Are you trying to be pathetic?

I do drinks or coffee. That and Netflix.
The last one when I met that HB9 49 year old I didn't buy her or her friend any drinks. made them pay themselves.
 

will123

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She's texting another dude during your date is all i need to know. If it's a quick text to a friend because you have been hanging out all day (??) that's alright. Anything else is just disrespect and low interest. Nip it in the bud immediately by saying "oh, am i boring you?"
She will then say something like "what? no", get the hint and not do that again.
Or she will not get the hint, to where you will say "since i got better things to do with my time than this". Stand up and leave.
There's nothing worse than women texting others (that's not for practical reasons) during a date, for me it's no go. It's just something a highly interested woman would never do, since women know they come off as rude and they don't want to come off as rude to someone they're interested in and risk offending him.
It goes back to the fact that highly interested women won't confuse you.
Spot on. I was feeling to do this at the time- and wanted to. Not sure why I held back. I guess I thought about her being 20 miles from home and having to get 3 buses home, taking 2 hours.

Thinking about it now, I bet she would have been shocked and most likely came crawling and begging back
 

Glassguy

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I recently watched an older AMS video about texting. He has a response to a chick that says "maybe" when you invite her out.

First and foremost, when asking a chick to join for.a drink, you need to ask her availability. If she gives you a couple of evenings to choose from then run with the evening that works best for you and go out with her.

But if you do something to box yourself in and get a "maybe", his response back is this:


"Maybe"??

That's it. According to AMS he gets a good response to this. As in the chick comes back with "just kidding. Tuesday night will work just fine".

It puts the woman in check without showing an emotional and butthurt response.

I would assume a woman with some game would try to disqualify a guy with the "maybe". However the response he suggests just puts her in place covertly.

Now if you get another wishy washy response to "Maybe"??, just leave the conversation unannounced and bounced.

As to the original thread of "how to deal with flakey women "........my answer is simple. I dont.

Flakey women will make you have a weaker frame if you keep chasing them. With so many women on this earth, why fvck with them?
 

will123

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I recently watched an older AMS video about texting. He has a response to a chick that says "maybe" when you invite her out.

First and foremost, when asking a chick to join for.a drink, you need to ask her availability. If she gives you a couple of evenings to choose from then run with the evening that works best for you and go out with her.

But if you do something to box yourself in and get a "maybe", his response back is this:


"Maybe"??

That's it. According to AMS he gets a good response to this. As in the chick comes back with "just kidding. Tuesday night will work just fine".

It puts the woman in check without showing an emotional and butthurt response.

I would assume a woman with some game would try to disqualify a guy with the "maybe". However the response he suggests just puts her in place covertly.

Now if you get another wishy washy response to "Maybe"??, just leave the conversation unannounced and bounced.

As to the original thread of "how to deal with flakey women "........my answer is simple. I dont.

Flakey women will make you have a weaker frame if you keep chasing them. With so many women on this earth, why fvck with them?
That's what I did: asked her availability. It's been 5 days NC so far, and I ain't chasing her. I'll see her Wednesday evening though, during evening class. Will be awkward though as she sits next to me and follows me everywhere.
 

Glassguy

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That's what I did: asked her availability. It's been 5 days NC so far, and I ain't chasing her. I'll see her Wednesday evening though, during evening class. Will be awkward though as she sits next to me and follows me everywhere.
Ignore her. Just like she did to you.

Stop being scared to be an @sshole. She asked for it. Just be cordial, no more. No small talk.
 
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