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Flakes after successful dates?

Millard Fillmore

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In about ~10 last dates from online apps I've had there's been about 3 situations where the girl would be all over me, kissing with me and asking when exactly are we going to meet again, initiating kisses at the end of the meeting. With one of them I've been sucking on her nipples for 20 fuccking minutes too lol.
Yet after the meeting, those girls suddenly become cold in texting and not long after it I'm getting left on read.

I don't think it's about me not fuccking them (one would say stuff like im not ready, one would not want to visit my place, with the last one we just stayed in the city center and I didn't even ask to come over), so what's left is me wondering if that's just a random X factor of a girl going "oh he's not looking for a relationship, I thought about this meeting and I'm not feeling good with that direction" or is there actually something I'm doing wrong?

Wise men, share your experiences
Probably the escalation thing that others pointed out. And believe it or not, 3/10 is not a big deal. Three in a row can even happen. But always take your shot.
 

SW15

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there’s a show on my local radio station called second date update where a person who just had a date asks the radio station to call the other person because they're being ghosted.
Second Date Update is staged. Think about it. Who answers phone calls from an unknown number? Most people don't have a local radio station's number programmed into their phones.

Usually when it comes to OLD , you're in a big ratrace. Women these days have become like men in the sense that they'll talk to a buncha diff guys and try out diff flavors every week. They might see 2-3 dudes a week easily.. while still giving chances to the guys they seen last week. They usually have 1 or 2 guys they're super into but while they let it play out, they're still going on dates. I mean its casual dating 101.

The other thing about OLD is that, women who are OLD, a lot of them are looking for se.x .. especially if its TInder. They didn't get back on the app to find prince charming. They will entertain a few "fun dates" but mostly they're lookin for that sexual compatibility to get f-ed. If you don't capitalize on this, it simply means she didnt feel the vibe and moved on or you didn't know how to escalate and just didn't make a move. They'll be nice near the end and act like they wan to see you again because all women fear men having an adverse reaction to not having sex or to being told that a girl might not want to see u again..

The other thing is in these days of abundance for attractive women, women are lookin for any little thing to disqualify men so they have more of a reason to focus on that one guy they like the most. Believe it or not, women are hardwired for monogamy, and while we as humans evolved greatly, they will only play the field until they find a guy they deem compatible.. and usually everone else gets ghosted for a while when things get more serious with that one dude.
This is all perfect. Female abundance from tech-based dating methods is an important factor. Online dating websites were not an option for women until the 1990s, and they didn't gain much popularity until the mid-2000s. Even in the website era of online dating, women had abundance. Swipe apps took it to a new level and a larger % of women have been using swipe apps in the last 5-8 years as compared to women using dating websites 2006-2010.

Before dating websites and later swipe apps became the norm, the only way for a woman to achieve abundance was visiting bars multiple nights a week wearing provocative clothing. That's a lot more effort than sitting at home and uploading photos. Also, even if a woman visited bars multiple nights a week, she couldn't get nearly the level of abundance as compared to the internet.

With abundance, there's an expectation of "all the feelz" right now on first dates. A first date needs to go much better in the current era than in the early to mid 2000s in order for a 2nd date to happen.

Some first dates ending in sex can result in no second date, as well as same night lays from in-person bar approaching. There are a lot of reasons for that and exploring those might derail the thread. I think it is important to realize that. Intense physical chemistry without sex can be confusing for women too. Don't escalate big time (clothes removal) without completing sex and realize that sex on a first date or the same night from an in-person bar approach is no guarantee of future interaction.

@Fowo is likely experiencing issues based on the fact that he's arranging dates with women using swipe apps (and possibly social media DMs). He's mainly dealing with women with higher than average levels of abundance who received more "feelz" from dates with other men.
 

RazorRambo24

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Quick question, what exactly does OLD stand for? Still new here. Been trying to find an answer around here but searching seems to be broken.

About some of the answers:
In my country tons of girls use tinder and other apps for finding relationships - legit. So I wouldn't go as far as to say that all of them flaked me because I wasn't pushing for sex hard enough. Besides, as I mentioned, I did push hard with one, pushed a little bit with 2nd one and didnt push at all with the 3rd one.
I'm also not desperate and don't give off that vibe - got 2 girls I see regularly plus some dates (average 2 dates per week).
The reason I'm asking here is because I'm wondering whether there is something I ****ed up and can pay more attention to, it's always nice to improve your effectiveness by 30%.
They could still be looking for relationships and disqualify you based on the fact that you didn't capitalize on sex. That will make them feel like something is wrong. Especially if their used to meeting guys and having sex right on the first date. It becomes the standard for them.

Ofc this is like 1 out 50 possibilities that would or could disqualify you from their dating pool. This is just what happens when women have abundance. For some women you might be coming off too strong, or too sexually forward.. For others it might have been something you said on the date, something to do with your values or beliefs..

If you really had to, you can always ask but women have a way of softening or lying about what it is.

The other thing I forgot to mention is this: ALot of times, women aren't actively on Tinder. WHen they are, besides meaning they are lookin for someone to have sex with, it also can mean they are trying to get over someone, or are upset with their partner and looking to get over it by hanging out with some dude.. Sadly, some women do this they're not looking to fully commit or even see a person again.. it's just a quick spiteful way to get back at their man or lover.

Notice I said man or lover. Girls could be super committed to their lover with no strings attached, and when he does something wrong or they see him with anther girl, theyll feel the need to go sleep with someone.. but later feel emotionally torn by their decision.. cuz of the feelins they have for their person. (i know this from experience.. one of my first fwb did this to me and later told me out of guilt and i just laguhed because it wasn't a big deal since we weren't together lol)
 

Stanley

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The other thing I forgot to mention is this: ALot of times, women aren't actively on Tinder. WHen they are, besides meaning they are lookin for someone to have sex with, it also can mean they are trying to get over someone, or are upset with their partner and looking to get over it by hanging out with some dude.. Sadly, some women do this they're not looking to fully commit or even see a person again.. it's just a quick spiteful way to get back at their man or lover. Notice I said man or lover. Girls could be super committed to their lover with no strings attached, and when he does something wrong or they see him with anther girl, theyll feel the need to go sleep with someone.. but later feel emotionally torn by their decision.. cuz of the feelins they have for their person. (i know this from experience.. one of my first fwb did this to me and later told me out of guilt and i just laguhed because it wasn't a big deal since we weren't together lol)



Notice I said man or lover. Girls could be super committed to their lover with no strings attached, and when he does something wrong or they see him with anther girl, theyll feel the need to go sleep with someone.. but later feel emotionally torn by their decision.. cuz of the feelins they have for their person. (i know this from experience.. one of my first fwb did this to me and later told me out of guilt and i just laguhed because it wasn't a big deal since we weren't together lol)
Had this happen several times, the girls that do this kinda stuff in my experience aren't worth the effort. Its like when a very insecure girl see's the guy they like with another girl and instead of competing for him she tries to compete with him. Or the girl that was cheated on by the guy she loved so she self sabotages potentially healthy relationships and once again fills the void and 'gets back' at the one who hurt her. Sad state of affairs.
 

RazorRambo24

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Had this happen several times, the girls that do this kinda stuff in my experience aren't worth the effort. Its like when a very insecure girl see's the guy they like with another girl and instead of competing for him she tries to compete with him. Or the girl that was cheated on by the guy she loved so she self sabotages potentially healthy relationships and once again fills the void and 'gets back' at the one who hurt her. Sad state of affairs.
Yeah its pretty common. and yep I know all about those chicks who like competing with you.. Even dating them it's like she's playing a weird game of "desire me more than I desire you".. I've had a few chicks in the past where they'd see me on snap or somewhere with some friends just hanging out, and because I posted something with girls in the video , suddenly, they'd post something like a few days later with them and some guys or a guy around.. whereas they otherwise would never post stuff like that ... and its like c'mon , if you're going to act like that about me hanging around women who I got nothing going on with-- what would u do if I was actually boning some of them considering we have 0 commitment, and you find out about it? What are you then going to go bone another guy in spite? :lol:. "he boned a chick so now i gotta go bone some guy.. quick, let mes scroll thru my list of orbiters" lol
 

Stanley

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I've had a few chicks in the past where they'd see me on snap or somewhere with some friends just hanging out, and because I posted something with girls in the video , suddenly, they'd post something like a few days later with them and some guys or a guy around.. whereas they otherwise would never post stuff like that ... and its like c'mon , if you're going to act like that about me hanging around women who I got nothing going on with-- what would u do if I was actually boning some of them considering we have 0 commitment, and you find out about it? What are you then going to go bone another guy in spite? :lol:. "he boned a chick so now i gotta go bone some guy.. quick, let mes scroll thru my list of orbiters" lol
This is why i stopped friending girls I was into on snap and keeping stories private. Too much drama and don't want to see what they are doing to get a rise out of me
 
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