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First Time Sex Problems!

bamboozled_panfish

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My girlfriend and I tried to have sex last night for the first time (for both of us). It was a disaster, I couldn't get the condom on, and then when I did get it on, I didn't know where to put it! I feel like a total idiot, and she finds the whole thing hilarious, and I don't. What would you do in this situation as it's so embarrassing!
 

Zerotwoonenine

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well i had the same problem for the first time a month ago, same situation, what u need to do is practice putting it on, make sure your fingers dont touch the thing casue u might have forcumd, put it on, squeeze the air out of the top and roll down. Make sure its the right way round though. The use your fingers, start from the top of her and slowly go down, when she says that is the right hole, insert slowly, cause first time hurts them like hell and go in slow.
 

dj ben2

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too say we have sex ed these days they dont teach u much i mean i tried to stick it in her pee hole my first time
 

MrS

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I'm sorry, but what do you mean you didn't know where to put it?
 

azanon

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bamboozled_panfish said:
My girlfriend and I tried to have sex last night for the first time (for both of us). It was a disaster, I couldn't get the condom on, and then when I did get it on, I didn't know where to put it! I feel like a total idiot, and she finds the whole thing hilarious, and I don't. What would you do in this situation as it's so embarrassing!
Ask her to hold herself open and give you feedback; it takes a team effort. A lot of times experienced women who havent shaved like to do that (hold it open) anyway, so you dont inadvertently pull her pubic hair inside her. If she's just lying there not helping in any way, including no verbal feedback, its partially her fault. So, be embarressed for both of you because you both failed at it ;-)
 

oakraiderz2

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Put your hand down there, finger her, and guide it in with some assistance. Then fvck her till tears come down her cheeks.
 

LA_Chico

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azanon said:
Ask her to hold herself open
Maybe that was the problem - she had her legs closed!!! :rolleyes:

bamboozled_panfish said:
My girlfriend and I tried to have sex last night for the first time (for both of us). It was a disaster, I couldn't get the condom on, and then when I did get it on, I didn't know where to put it! I feel like a total idiot, and she finds the whole thing hilarious, and I don't. What would you do in this situation as it's so embarrassing!
TROLL alert!!!! You guys are being bamboozled by DJ Bamboozled!!! :rolleyes:
 

Scrumtulescence

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You put the condom on my placing it on top of the girl's anus and smushing your flaccid penis into it which then grows to an erection within the condom and into the anus.

You place your penis in the vagina at the top of the vulva, which is the same as the urethra. Stick it in her pee hole.

While making love to her pee hole, you play with her ****oris, which is the little piece of skin inside the belly button.

Good luck and god speed.
 

ryannath

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You have to make sure you are fully hard before you try to put the condom on. I had that problem before with putting it on before i was hard and it just won't go on very well that way.
 
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cyp6 said:
You should practice putting on a condome before you do it next time.. and also if your confused about where to put it... get to know your gf's fun parts foreplay for 30 mins shes love it ull get some knowledge.
Yeah, practice putting a condom on other guys - great tip DJ cyp6 --- NOT!!! :rolleyes:

A girl's fun parts are her nose and ears - twist them and they'll make a whirling whizzing sound --- weeeee!

Foreplay for 30 minutes???? ....and the sex lasts for 2 minutes!!!!!!! ...I don't like that ratio!!! :rolleyes: Any math guys want to chime on on the proper foreplay to sex ratio?? Based on my man calculator it should be 0 minutes of foreplay per 60 minutes of flesh pounding!!!
 

DarkLight

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Last Man Standing said:
TROLL alert!!!! You guys are being bamboozled by DJ Bamboozled!!! :rolleyes:

Called out!

Anyways... if your seriously trippin from this. Don't sweat it.
Learn how to a jimmy on, and then try probing again.
You'll find the sweetness.
Peace'
 
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i would say just practice putting it on in your free time!
 

LA_Chico

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yea bro, enroll in a condom class
 
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LA_Chico said:
yea bro, enroll in a condom class
That was a good line Bro - but they actually do have classes in high school that teach this that my tax dollars are paying for!!! Maybe he missed the class!
 
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