First Thread on SS - Break Up Last Night

[logicallefty]

This is the biggest thing that makes me realize you are a beta: you care what she thinks and how it looks to her. .

We've all been there^ or we would not be here \/. OP, welcome to the forum.

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

Yeah I had a girl move in with me but I kicked her out cause she was so ungrateful and didn’t show any affection to me.

It’s really really tough to find a high quality female who is respectful and kind.

This is at the top of the list for me. Not hot? I'll settle for cute... and I'm sure she'll grow on me.

 

[MT93]

Lots of good points being made on this thread. I will add that her fvcking her ex shows that her continued interest in him played a big role of the first break up. Her fvcking him was like cheating on you but in her eyes it was ok because she threw you some shyte and pushed you away first to justify what she knew she was going to do.....which was fvck him.

This is why you never take back a cheater.

Her current actions tell me that he has again resurfaced or her interest has shifted into someone else. Nothing more.

Dont fall for her crumbs if she ever reaches out. This woman has red flag after red flag.

Yeah sadly man, I know you are right.

Very similar to the circumstances the first time in which she would withdraw and become distant, this time was no different.

I was constantly walking on eggshells and trying to keep her happy, it wasn't natural from my point of view, it was very much a game, and I know that's nothing to build a RS on.

Hitting me a little hard today, wish I could be alpha as f*ck and not give a s*it , seen her at work etc although she didn't see me, think I need to try and spin a few plates to take my mind off it..

The harsh thing is I feel I have been taken for a "ride again" from being so hot to so cold within the space of a few days is what baffles me, literally just last week at my mums surprise party she was saying how she cant wait to settle down with me and become 'Official' and that this time she knows she is ready..

Again I made a few mistakes, I think I made a few too many that were difficult to recover from. I always used to say "Nobody ever likes the nice guy"

Her mom, dad, sisters, best friends - all say how much of a nice guy I am and how I'm perfect for her, but lets be honest, that has no bearing on the situation if she doesn't feel it herself.

I met her friends a few weeks ago (they are a lot older than us) and we hit it off straight away, we've been out numerous times since then, I had her phone the other day calling a taxi and a message popped up from one of these friends saying "you've got an absolute diamond there, never let him go"

That's just my issue, I'm always trying to play the shining knight and bend over backwards to try and make people (women) happy, say the right things, do the right things, I've realised over time that's exactly the opposite of what I should be doing, I've just never been brought up to understand how 'to play the game' and that's the disappointing thing.

If anyone does have any links or advice in order for me to brush up then please don't hesitate to post in this thread.

Thanks

 

[MT93]

We've all been there^ or we would not be here \/. OP, welcome to the forum.

Thank you man, good to be here.

 

[Spaz]

In a MNC myself and have a few country managers reporting to me.

I suspect you must be managing administration or such ?

Anyhow head to HR and get the booklet/links to leadership role/managers guide that's mainly for managing operations and people. The information there is pretty much generic across every MNC and useful. Dealing with women is pretty much the same as when dealing with subordinates; as you are in the leadership role - this is what people here mentions as frame.

What you have been lacking is basically a strong frame aka leadership.

Alternatively if you enjoy reading, go to the DJ bible section, read up on POOK's threads there, it will be more concise then what you could get from HR or from your website link.

 

[MT93]

In a MNC myself and have a few country managers reporting to me.

I suspect you must be managing administration or such ?

Anyhow head to HR and get the booklet/links to leadership role/managers guide that's mainly for managing operations and people. The information there is pretty much generic across every MNC and useful. Dealing with women is pretty much the same as when dealing with subordinates; as you are in the leadership role - this is what people here mentions as frame.

What you have been lacking is basically a strong frame aka leadership.

Alternatively if you enjoy reading, go to the DJ bible section, read up on POOK's threads there, it will be more concise then what you could get from HR or from your website link.

Indeed I am sir, I'm one of 9 managers for a large company.

The first time that we parted ways, it really affected me in my role, with us working in the same building, I had just got the promotion and was really difficult managing the two things at the same time, I promised myself I wouldn't allow it to ever be that way again.

I am starting to really cement my position here now and showing good traits so I am reluctant to let this girl affect me in my job this time around and am 100% determined.

I know what I have to do, my issue is realising self worth and confidence, first things first I'm getting back in the gym and focusing on some hobbies and friends/family that I have neglected trying to make this RS work.

That's my first stop!

Mike

 

[soulforge]

Pretty much all of the advice given to OP here is GOLDEN I hope you take this info all on board.

One thing I would say is.. STOP caring about what she might think, if you block her cheating ass!

This is all about YOU now, and your survival.

Who cares what she thinks.. This woman is a NEGATIVE presence in your life and you need to do whatever it takes to be emotionaly FREE of her.

Bruv I blocked my ex on every platform, even changed my mobile number, nearly 16 months ago!

It was the best move I made.. Now I don't even remember what she looks like, and I literally have never been ONCE tempted to contact her!

A toxic woman, needs to be removed from your life COMPLETELY!!

 

[devilkingx2]

always think about what you have now, only right now matters

what you had before is gone, what you "will" have or "could" have again is a fantasy

all that you have is what you have at this moment, if she isn't a good girl now, then nothing else matters and you drop her now, if she wants to be a good girlfriend later, you'll think about it later. but for every moment that she can't satisfy you, you are single

the best thing to do is go talk to other girls, once you've got something good you won't care about some moody b!tch, it's only because you have nothing else that you even care. if you find just one other girl to go out with you'll never text your current one again unless you're telling her to come fvck you after midnight then go back home

 

[MT93]

Update- starting getting fed up of the constant posts on social media, selfies, jokey videos with friends, bull**** posts etc, wanted to try and remain as alpha as possible by keeping her on there and showing I didn't give a f*ck

Figured it was only going to delay my healing and keep me focusing on something that didn't require my energy...


So I blocked her

Not sure how i feel, don't want to give away any sort of power to her but it was the right thing to do for me.

Checking in.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Update- starting getting fed up of the constant posts on social media, selfies, jokey videos with friends, bull**** posts etc, wanted to try and remain as alpha as possible by keeping her on there and showing I didn't give a f*ck

Figured it was only going to delay my healing and keep me focusing on something that didn't require my energy...


So I blocked her

Not sure how i feel, don't want to give away any sort of power to her but it was the right thing to do for me.

Checking in.

And if she comes over in lengerie to fvck then what?

 

[MT93]

And if she comes over in lengerie to fvck then what?

Tell her she got the wrong house lmao

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Tell her she got the wrong house lmao

You could. Or you could hit it and put her out when the deed is done .

 

[soulforge]

Tell her she got the wrong house lmao

Don't worry about what she might think of you once you blocked her..

This is for you, so you can get over the breakup, in the quickest way possible.

Looking at her pics, finding out what she is upto, or who she might start dating, is not going to help you in anyway!

You need complete NC from her.. Start hitting the gym Bruv, I promise this will help LOADS!

Focus on your job and career.. Soon enough you will stop giving a crap about her, and will be too busy banging other chicks!

If she does ever come back for another chance? Don't be a fool Again!

Tell her to go, kick rocks!

 

[Glassguy]

Tell her to go, kick rocks!

Exactly. She didnt care about your feelings when she fvcked her ex. Or when she rejected you several times now. Fvck what she thinks. It's all about what's best for you now.

Making the choice to block on social media and text/calls isnt easy, but it's the right thing to do.

Trust me when I tell you this: it's much easier than scrolling through Facebook in a couple of weeks and seeing a pic of her and the new guy. Take that to the bank. I've been there.

 

[MT93]

thanks guys for the replies..
All duly noted.

At the moment kinda having up and down feeling, one min im cool next min my heads f*cked - not keen on it to be honest lol.

What you guys have figured is right also, there is somebody else involved, seems she has moved on very quickly indeed, wouldn't surprise me if it was her ex.

Again, not gutted because what we had was so special but she is a solid 9, and the P*ssy/Sex was amazing, that's proving most difficult at the moment lol, she is a worldie, plus helped i really got along with the family etc...

Was comfortable, now I'm out of that comfort zone.

Off to a wedding later, hopefully pick up some plates!

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I've learned to dread this

That means shell rebel and be cheating?

 

[MT93]

I've learned to dread this

Please, enlighten me?
Red flag?


See, when she said to me previously "Its usually the woman doing this sort of thing for the man" (picking her up when drunk)

Now that was degrading....I never want to be THAT guy again lol

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Please, enlighten me?
Red flag?


See, when she said to me previously "Its usually the woman doing this sort of thing for the man" (picking her up when drunk)

Now that was degrading....I never want to be THAT guy again lol

So if gf was drinking with her gf's. And had too much to drive, you wouldn't pick her up from gf's or the bar? Cause of she was at either of these, it's not some guys house .

 

[mrgoodstuff]

It means you're the safe boring guy

Did you say "hot potato"?

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Yeah sadly man, I know you are right.

Very similar to the circumstances the first time in which she would withdraw and become distant, this time was no different.

I was constantly walking on eggshells and trying to keep her happy, it wasn't natural from my point of view, it was very much a game, and I know that's nothing to build a RS on.

Hitting me a little hard today, wish I could be alpha as f*ck and not give a s*it , seen her at work etc although she didn't see me, think I need to try and spin a few plates to take my mind off it..

The harsh thing is I feel I have been taken for a "ride again" from being so hot to so cold within the space of a few days is what baffles me, literally just last week at my mums surprise party she was saying how she cant wait to settle down with me and become 'Official' and that this time she knows she is ready..

Again I made a few mistakes, I think I made a few too many that were difficult to recover from. I always used to say "Nobody ever likes the nice guy"

Her mom, dad, sisters, best friends - all say how much of a nice guy I am and how I'm perfect for her, but lets be honest, that has no bearing on the situation if she doesn't feel it herself.

I met her friends a few weeks ago (they are a lot older than us) and we hit it off straight away, we've been out numerous times since then, I had her phone the other day calling a taxi and a message popped up from one of these friends saying "you've got an absolute diamond there, never let him go"

That's just my issue, I'm always trying to play the shining knight and bend over backwards to try and make people (women) happy, say the right things, do the right things, I've realised over time that's exactly the opposite of what I should be doing, I've just never been brought up to understand how 'to play the game' and that's the disappointing thing.

If anyone does have any links or advice in order for me to brush up then please don't hesitate to post in this thread.

Thanks

Hey bro . To get out of that "pvssy" seat your currently sitting in go start fvcking some other females . It will raise your IDGAF level and get her chasing . Females love a challenge and love a pursuit and love knowing their man is desired.

Also when you have action of your own your not really going to be hyper focused on what she's thinking. The change in attention will change the dynamic.