"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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first meeting from net... pay?

golf299

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in a couple days i'm going to meet up with this chick that i met over the net. we're just going to lunch and then to this 4-story tall bookstore. we've emailed quite a few times and talked on the phone once.

should i offer to pay for the lunch? i'm leaning towards splitting the bill....

thanks guys!
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Lost In the Seas

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all the other girls i have dated are genuinely nice and they activel offer to split or accept my request to split the bill, but what if the girl is mean and cheap and decline the split? what precedures should i take?
 

penguin

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Originally posted by Lost In the Seas
all the other girls i have dated are genuinely nice and they activel offer to split or accept my request to split the bill, but what if the girl is mean and cheap and decline the split? what precedures should i take?
If she's stubborn, just pay it and be on your merry way... without her. :D
 

“The 22 Psychological Triggers That Make Women Chase You… Starting Tonight”

Forget the cash, the cars, and the chiseled jawlines. Female desire operates on a completely different frequency. Primal. Subconscious. Triggers that bypass her logic and hit her on a gut level. Most guys are totally blind to them.

I know because I was one of them. The overthinking. The paralysis. The silent drive home kicking yourself for freezing up. Watching average guys walk away with the girl while you stood there stuck in your own head.

Then I decoded the psychology behind what actually makes women tick. 22 hard rules.  Subtle behavioral shifts that rewired my entire reality. The anxiety evaporated. Women started leaning in. Investing. Chasing.

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becker

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The general answer to this is to pay for yourself only. That's my normal way of doing it. However, if you feel you need to pay, make sure (1) you don't make a big presentation out of it, do it very non-chalantly, as though it doesn't mean anything, just a philanthropic gesture and/or (2) you tell her she can get you next time. If you don't do these things, there may be the problem of it coming off as a bit manipulative. The last thing you want is some girl you just met reading into it, which she will undoubtedly do, since she IS female.

Last time I went out with a girl who expected me to pay on the first date I never called her again. Sometimes it's hard to not pay when she just sits there waiting for it because if you guys planned on doing something afterwards, you will either create this tense awkwardness that will spoil your evening, or you'll have to insist she pays and cut off the evening right then and there. Sometimes for the sake of you enjoying the rest of your night, you just go ahead and pay, have some fun doing whatever you want, and never call her again.
 

00Kevin

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be the man and pay.. gauge her reaction to you taking control. You want to make sure she is the type of girl that admires a provider.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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Why would you take a woman you don't even know to lunch? You have no idea if the two of you are even going to have a second date. If you would have kept it simple and just met for coffee you would have been able to determine if she's even worth the time and effort of a second date and not have to worry about who pays. :rolleyes:
 

Oxide

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Francisco, do we have to go through this EVERY FVCKING TIME with these guys?! How hard is it to get in your head that you split the bill, ESPECIALLY the first dates and ESPECIALLY If you met her off some intrnet site (why the hell you'd do it is beyond me... )

Fran and me are going to start robbing you fools, it seem like you got too much money to spare...:trouble:
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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Originally posted by Oxide
Francisco, do we have to go through this EVERY FVCKING TIME with these guys?! How hard is it to get in your head that you split the bill, ESPECIALLY the first dates and ESPECIALLY If you met her off some intrnet site (why the hell you'd do it is beyond me... )

Fran and me are going to start robbing you fools, it seem like you got too much money to spare...:trouble:
Yeah, maybe that'll teach them. .... Latest woman I met online brought me a bottle of wine, I didn't give her squat. I don't know why guys choose to date women that expect the guy to always pay.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

chili kat

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Well.... since you're in this position, If you think it's too late to clearly imply you believe it should be a dutch thing, call her on it when the bill arrives. You're getting together to get to know each other, so get to know her. Curiously ask her what kind of girl she is on the issue.
 

Julian

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lunch and a bookstore? from a netslut?

How about you just tell her to meet you behind walmart with her std test results.
 

tristan22

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If you ask someone out with you, you should pay. However, never ever ever buy girls you are dating gifts; it's the kiss of death!
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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Originally posted by tristan22
If you ask someone out with you, you should pay. ...
I see the problem with you guys; you don't know how to get a girl to go out with you without[/i] inferring that you will pay.

AFC:"Hey, if you agree to be seen in public with me, I'll buy you food!"
HB:"Ummm OK, I have plans tonight but I'll meet you for lunch."
(If I'm lucky, after lunch he'll ask me to go to a movie with him. I'd still have time to ditch him afterward and go clubbing to find a DJ!)

Hope you guys have good paying jobs. You're going to drop a pretty penny for a while whenever you get a date.
 

BigFoot

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It probably depends somewhat on your financial situation. I usually pay, but if she wanted to pay half or all of it that's OK too.
I like to be a little generous to others without being concerned about whether there's a "payback" or not.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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becker

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It's always dangerous to pay, because as I stated before, it's HOW you do it, not WHETHER you do it that determines whether it was a bad move on your part. Nonchalantness is the key.
 

DJDamage

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Originally posted by Francisco d'Anconia
AFC:"Hey, if you agree to be seen in public with me, I'll buy you food!"
HB:"Ummm OK, I have plans tonight but I'll meet you for lunch."
(If I'm lucky, after lunch he'll ask me to go to a movie with him. I'd still have time to ditch him afterward and go clubbing to find a DJ!)/B]



Francisco your example illustrates perfectly what the mindset of a girl is who hardly even knows you. This is what HB's think 99% of the time when a chump she doesn't know offers to pay and buy her food. I cringe when I read it because its true. It should make everyone mad when they read this and stop throwing money and feed those pigeons because doing that does not raise interest level but only fills their stomach and ego :cuss:

Actually its better for the DJ out there for other guys to feed their gf's, drive them around, listen to their problems and in the end of the day all the DJ has to do is fvck her. Everything else is already supplicated by the AFC. By feeding her and doing what is above you make life much easier for other guys (You don't know of) to fvck her.
 
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