"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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First date idea which is not (only) drinks

Tortendieb

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Hey, what's your favourite first date if you've already chatted to the girl for some time?

Went to a party last friday, it was pretty lame. Was really bored when a friend introduced me to this girl. Ended up talking to her for at least an hour, she was definitely attracted, we were even holding hands for a bit. Took her number.

Now it's been 5 days already... anyway I'm moving into the city next weekend and technically I could see her. I really should call ASAP, right?

But WHAT DATE?
Don't want to just go to a pub, because we've talked alot over drinks already. Actually I'd prefer a not-drinking activity at first, to make her comfortable (I'm a stranger after all), to build up a stronger connection. Also she seemed honestly cool and I'd like to get to know here more. Possible LTR. Also, I hate night club dancing. None of that for me.

BUT I can't think of a bloody activity that would be really fun. Didn't actually ask her about her interests yet, was drunk&pimpin' :eek:
- "Coffee after work" is not enough, we've talked too much for that already.
- I love martial arts, rock climbing, play music, but it's not something where I can bring a girl along which I know nothing about. (yeah I was drunk at the party)
- Don't have a bachelor pad ATM, busy moving houses
- She was attracted. But it was a late night party, and all that vanishes over night. I need to reestablish attraction&rapport before I'd ask her out for a "serious date"...


What's a cool date that is easy, laid-back, and gives a good mix of talking and action? Was considering
- Checking out a winter fair: would be perfect, looking at stuff and drinking, but nothing happening ATM
- Ice skating: can be good, but can also be really bad if she's not into it!
- Actually considering a movie. Don't want to do dinner before though. Maybe a long walk after?


****, sorry for ranting. Already waited too long. Although I did tell her "don't expect a call too soon... will call you once I'm in the city" :p
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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MOTU

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something where you compete could be fun - go kart racing, raquetball, shuffleboard, whirlyball, etc.
 

Tortendieb

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I hear that stuff alot, but where I come from that's something you'd only do if you know each other for a bit. Certainly not first date...

But anyway, I should talk about that kind of stuff to find out if she's into some of it. Then maybe for 2nd date.
 

Tarfun

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Here's a couple I've tried over the last year:

Going to the zoo or aquarium - fun, lots of stuff to talk about

Hitting the driving range - both golfers, made her help me with my swing

Bowling - sounds gay but was actually fun, lots of trash talking, we both sucked

Farmers market - actually not bad, conned her in to cooking me dinner with stuff we bought there, lots of nice/interesting people to talk to

Play tourist - had a blast doing this, mostly cuz she was an awesome girl, we went to the tourist office and hit up like 4 different things I didn't even know we're in my city.

Baseball game - if she is into it, this is a lot of fun, good chance to talk, have a beer and dog

Edit:

Really I love anything out of the ordinary, also stuff where you can compete a little bit is always a good thing. Even if it's just drinks, I always push her to play some pool, throw some darts. Going and doing a trivia night is great too, it's nice and easy because you can just let the game guide the convo
 

El Payaso

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Bowling, putt putt golf, amusement park, go kart racing, art gallery, museum, arcade etc.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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