"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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First date idea which is not (only) drinks

Tortendieb

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Hey, what's your favourite first date if you've already chatted to the girl for some time?

Went to a party last friday, it was pretty lame. Was really bored when a friend introduced me to this girl. Ended up talking to her for at least an hour, she was definitely attracted, we were even holding hands for a bit. Took her number.

Now it's been 5 days already... anyway I'm moving into the city next weekend and technically I could see her. I really should call ASAP, right?

But WHAT DATE?
Don't want to just go to a pub, because we've talked alot over drinks already. Actually I'd prefer a not-drinking activity at first, to make her comfortable (I'm a stranger after all), to build up a stronger connection. Also she seemed honestly cool and I'd like to get to know here more. Possible LTR. Also, I hate night club dancing. None of that for me.

BUT I can't think of a bloody activity that would be really fun. Didn't actually ask her about her interests yet, was drunk&pimpin' :eek:
- "Coffee after work" is not enough, we've talked too much for that already.
- I love martial arts, rock climbing, play music, but it's not something where I can bring a girl along which I know nothing about. (yeah I was drunk at the party)
- Don't have a bachelor pad ATM, busy moving houses
- She was attracted. But it was a late night party, and all that vanishes over night. I need to reestablish attraction&rapport before I'd ask her out for a "serious date"...


What's a cool date that is easy, laid-back, and gives a good mix of talking and action? Was considering
- Checking out a winter fair: would be perfect, looking at stuff and drinking, but nothing happening ATM
- Ice skating: can be good, but can also be really bad if she's not into it!
- Actually considering a movie. Don't want to do dinner before though. Maybe a long walk after?


****, sorry for ranting. Already waited too long. Although I did tell her "don't expect a call too soon... will call you once I'm in the city" :p
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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MOTU

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something where you compete could be fun - go kart racing, raquetball, shuffleboard, whirlyball, etc.
 

Tortendieb

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I hear that stuff alot, but where I come from that's something you'd only do if you know each other for a bit. Certainly not first date...

But anyway, I should talk about that kind of stuff to find out if she's into some of it. Then maybe for 2nd date.
 

Tarfun

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Here's a couple I've tried over the last year:

Going to the zoo or aquarium - fun, lots of stuff to talk about

Hitting the driving range - both golfers, made her help me with my swing

Bowling - sounds gay but was actually fun, lots of trash talking, we both sucked

Farmers market - actually not bad, conned her in to cooking me dinner with stuff we bought there, lots of nice/interesting people to talk to

Play tourist - had a blast doing this, mostly cuz she was an awesome girl, we went to the tourist office and hit up like 4 different things I didn't even know we're in my city.

Baseball game - if she is into it, this is a lot of fun, good chance to talk, have a beer and dog

Edit:

Really I love anything out of the ordinary, also stuff where you can compete a little bit is always a good thing. Even if it's just drinks, I always push her to play some pool, throw some darts. Going and doing a trivia night is great too, it's nice and easy because you can just let the game guide the convo
 

El Payaso

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Bowling, putt putt golf, amusement park, go kart racing, art gallery, museum, arcade etc.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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