I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Originally posted by Jariel
Seriously man, you need to step back and look at what you are doing.
You're taping conversations and analysing them.
You're waiting for her to call and looking for any excuse to call her.
You're planning what to say to her.
You're thinking of trying the old wrong number, accidental call game.
This is obsessive behaviour!
I don't mean this as a criticism against you. I've been there myself with an ex-girlfriend and that's why I recognise it, but you need to stop yourself now and let go before it gets out of control.
If she doesn't call, she is not interested and you have to get on with your life. If she is interested, you are going to scare her away with this desperate behaviour.
Assume she's not going to call, otherwise you're going to find your life comes to a halt! Trust me on this!
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.