FINALLY! Got her number...but IL seems low...

[Tantric]

Okay...just got back from my workout...

I am a writer and actor, so this may be a bit long and dramatic...

I took the chance that as workout girl missed her workout last night, she would probably be there this morning...

She was, along with 2 other guys who were working out (no with her though). Honestly, I felt a bit AFC, as the guys next to me were huge, and dressed a bit better than me, etc. I said "hi" to her through the mirror, but she had her headphones on and was watching TV. No reply.

So...I actually felt dissed. Plus the 2 buff guys who were obviously showing off their testosterone gave me a very "weak" feeling.

Still focused on the TV, she again did not say anything when I walked by and asked how her workout was going.

Again, felt really dissed.

I told myself FVCK IT!! I could be totally reading into this....if she is going to diss me, I rather get dissed in the face, and I was tired of pvssying around.

I figured she was nearing the end of her workout, so I strategically decided to work my back (where the machines are placed near the exit). Figured even if I get dissed, I rather go for it in front of the 2 guys acting who were all alpha and hot shyt who only had the balls to stare at her the whole time.

As she is done her workout, she smiles and says, "goodbye", and I ask if she ended up making her workout last night (I knew she didn't, but only thing i could think of). I follow her for a few steps, at which point she removes the headphones and says she couldn't make it. I poke fun at her, calling her a slacker, making excuses, etc.

Got her smiling a bit, so I asked her what her plans were for the week. She said she was doing nothing really...some writing to do, planning a vacation, but nothing major. I asked her if she wanted to do something fun. She smiled and said, "like what?".

ME - "You like rides?"

HB -"What kind of rides"

ME - (my plan was to invite her to UNIVERSAL STUDIOS and CITY WALK", which is a really cool place at night. Thought that roller coasters, haunted houses, etc. would really be cool and exciting) "like roller coasters, rides, haunted houses, etc.".

HB - "mmmm...no...that sort of stuff scares me...The fear of FLYING out of a roller coaster...."

(yeah, I know...there was a 50/50 chance she would like it)

ME - (smiling) "Well, we can figure something out...when is your next day off?"

HB - "ummm..pretty much every day. I am not doing much..how about we talk about it next time we see each other working out?"

(YIKES. I took that as diss. I then really hesitated as I did not know what to say).

ME - "So what have you done for fun since being here?"

HB - "ummmm...hmmmm...well...nothing really".

ME - (poking fun) "what? you've been here in LA for 8 weeks, and you have not done anything for fun?

HB - "embarrassed, "hmmm...no...not really" (she smiles)

ME - "I want to go out and have some fun this week...and I would love for you to come" (kinda lame, but it was the only thing that came out o my mouth).

She smiles.

ME - (at this point i was REALLY STUCK, and nerves got to me) "tell you what...I have a busy day today...and tomorrow with an audition...why don't I give you a call tomorrow and we can figure something out?"

HB - "sure"

ME "what's your number?"

(she gives me her number and I plug it into my cell). She then pulled out hers. As I plug it the digits she asks me if i am calling her.

ME - "No, just plugging it in to my phone"

(HA!!!! I really DID NOT clue in that she wanted me to call her, to get my number into HER phone - number exchange)

Anyway, there was more to the convo, but that was the general gist. I ended up trying to keep it light, joked around, etc., and I told her I would call her tomorrow.

The issue is that throughout the convo, I was selling her on UNIVERSAL, convincing her it isn't that bad (very tame actually), and I KNOW she would have a good time...but I do not want to take here there if she is going to be freaked out and not enjoy it.. So...now I am at a loss as I don't have a back-up plan.

Also, the IL does not seem very high. It's tough to read as she looks very unapproachable and shy...sometimes bytchy looking...but when we talk she is all smiles.

When she said, "why don't we talk about it next time we work out", I figured it was either a) a diss, or b) a prompt for me to get her number...not sure...

I have no clue where to go from here...really...

Mike

 

[Gangster Of Love]

Get together for something more low key. If you offer to take her out to Universal Studios, it seems more like a date and more expectations. Might be too much pressure too son. Do coffee, etc. that way you can talk and totally get her confortable. Even going out for a drink might be a better idea than getting her to commit to something like a theme park.

It is barely tuesday, so you can still do something low key, then during your get together, invite her to Universal, etc. Don't push it too early, though.

Good job overall.

 

[##17]

Okay...just got back from my workout...

I am a writer and actor, so this may be a bit long and dramatic...

I took the chance that as workout girl missed her workout last night, she would probably be there this morning...

She was, along with 2 other guys who were working out (no with her though). Honestly, I felt a bit AFC, as the guys next to me were huge, and dressed a bit better than me, etc. I said "hi" to her through the mirror, but she had her headphones on and was watching TV. No reply.

So...I actually felt dissed. Plus the 2 buff guys who were obviously showing off their testosterone gave me a very "weak" feeling.

Still focused on the TV, she again did not say anything when I walked by and asked how her workout was going.

Again, felt really dissed.

I told myself FVCK IT!! I could be totally reading into this....if she is going to diss me, I rather get dissed in the face, and I was tired of pvssying around.

I figured she was nearing the end of her workout, so I strategically decided to work my back (where the machines are placed near the exit). Figured even if I get dissed, I rather go for it in front of the 2 guys acting who were all alpha and hot shyt who only had the balls to stare at her the whole time.

As she is done her workout, she smiles and says, "goodbye", and I ask if she ended up making her workout last night (I knew she didn't, but only thing i could think of). I follow her for a few steps, at which point she removes the headphones and says she couldn't make it. I poke fun at her, calling her a slacker, making excuses, etc.

Got her smiling a bit, so I asked her what her plans were for the week. She said she was doing nothing really...some writing to do, planning a vacation, but nothing major. I asked her if she wanted to do something fun. She smiled and said, "like what?".

ME - "You like rides?"

HB -"What kind of rides"

ME - (my plan was to invite her to UNIVERSAL STUDIOS and CITY WALK", which is a really cool place at night. Thought that roller coasters, haunted houses, etc. would really be cool and exciting) "like roller coasters, rides, haunted houses, etc.".

HB - "mmmm...no...that sort of stuff scares me...The fear of FLYING out of a roller coaster...."

(yeah, I know...there was a 50/50 chance she would like it)

ME - (smiling) "Well, we can figure something out...when is your next day off?"

HB - "ummm..pretty much every day. I am not doing much..how about we talk about it next time we see each other working out?"

(YIKES. I took that as diss. I then really hesitated as I did not know what to say).

ME - "So what have you done for fun since being here?"

HB - "ummmm...hmmmm...well...nothing really".

ME - (poking fun) "what? you've been here in LA for 8 weeks, and you have not done anything for fun?

HB - "embarrassed, "hmmm...no...not really" (she smiles)

ME - "I want to go out and have some fun this week...and I would love for you to come" (kinda lame, but it was the only thing that came out o my mouth).

She smiles.

ME - (at this point i was REALLY STUCK, and nerves got to me) "tell you what...I have a busy day today...and tomorrow with an audition...why don't I give you a call tomorrow and we can figure something out?"

HB - "sure"

ME "what's your number?"

(she gives me her number and I plug it into my cell). She then pulled out hers. As I plug it the digits she asks me if i am calling her.

ME - "No, just plugging it in to my phone"

(HA!!!! I really DID NOT clue in that she wanted me to call her, to get my number into HER phone - number exchange)

Anyway, there was more to the convo, but that was the general gist. I ended up trying to keep it light, joked around, etc., and I told her I would call her tomorrow.

The issue is that throughout the convo, I was selling her on UNIVERSAL, convincing her it isn't that bad (very tame actually), and I KNOW she would have a good time...but I do not want to take here there if she is going to be freaked out and not enjoy it.. So...now I am at a loss as I don't have a back-up plan.

Also, the IL does not seem very high. It's tough to read as she looks very unapproachable and shy...sometimes bytchy looking...but when we talk she is all smiles.

When she said, "why don't we talk about it next time we work out", I figured it was either a) a diss, or b) a prompt for me to get her number...not sure...

I have no clue where to go from here...really...

Mike

At least you went for it. And it sounds like you were smooth about it too. Nice work today. Something might come of it as well.

It would have been easier if you had gone for her # the first time you talked to her, instead of waiting though.

 

[Ever onward]

Mini Golf

Trust me, Mini Golf is gold!

Then invite her to your place for some champagne.

 

[Tantric]

I was nervous a fvck, and I am sure it showed...so feel kinda wierd about that.

Yeah, that was the big downfall with Universal...$$.

I figured, it was close...Citywalk is usually pretty happening at night as well.

Honestly, I am in more of a mood to see a movie. Sounds kinda cliche, but City Walk is a cool place at night, and we can always chill somewhere after...

 

[jophil28]

So she is new in town and not well "connected" yet. She is reserved and appears shy and hesitant. It would be VERY easy to proceed in a way that caters to her apparent anxieties -by using the 'go slow' method. This stragegy is essentially pandering to her emotional reality. If you go TOO slow then you will not press enough of her buttons to make her want to see you again. I mean that she may NOT be far enough out of her comfort zone to make the 'date' exciting enough to mark YOU as 'Mr Fun and Excitement.'
Remember this -women love excitement IF you make it tantalizing ,slightly scary BUT safe. It is your job to create this scenario.
Personally I would quit tracking her shyness and instead tow her out into YOUR fun world. THis is the place where you play YOUR life games and the game is YOURS to design.
Shy and anxious women LOVE being led by a confident guy...
If you do not do this, some other alpha guy will .

Does this stuff make sense ?

 

[Metro3pilot]

perhaps slightly fixated on the universal thing .... I myself always have a couple plans but depending on the chick and the vibe .... I may only present 1of them a day, max 2 ... really depends, when you come up with multiple ideas you might appear over - interested ......

The hard part was asking for her number ...I myself always dial the girls number when I get it for 2 reasons
1. make sure it her number
2. she now has my number

I might go against conventional wisdom here ...

I say slow your game down ..next time you see her, try asking her questions, getting to know her and her interests, but do not ask her for a date ...
2 reasons

1. it will throw her off, since she's expecting you to ask her out
2. you will be better prepared to offer a date doing something that interests
her, more likely she'll accept

your game seems tight ..just add a little polish ...



:rockon:

 

[Ever onward]

Dude, do not discount my suggestion! I was completely serious. Mini Golf is really low pressure and a lot of fun. But of course I'm a big nerd and I love Mini Golf.

And of course, women can't resist champagne. Tell her "hey, let's have a champagne party back at my place" (do this while you're doing whatever you do for your date and having fun) she won't be able to resist you if you have a fun vibe going.

But the main thing is, relax. The hard part is over. The pressure is off. The girl has agreed to go out with you. She likes you. If I was in your situation and I knew that getting together seemed so likely, I would be very confident about getting her back to my place and getting physical with her. Maybe not sex quite yet but at least heavy making out seems likely. And trust me, you should be confident too.

You have done every thing right up until now, just don't screw up. The heavy lifting is over.

 

[cordoncordon]

Tantric, just being nosy lol but what gym do you work out at In LA? I split my time between Michigan (my home base) and California (to visit my gf) in Santa Monica. I work out all the time when I am out there at the 24 hour fitness on 2nd in Santa Monica and at the Balley's on Bundy in LA. Any chance you go there?

And on yeah I head down to Venice beach as well to work out near the rings area.

 

[joekerr31]

ok, first congrats! making a move and not letting more physically buff guys around you get your self esteem down is the sign of a winner.

now, heres a variety of quick thoughs...

- never take a chic to a movie. a movie is a TOTAL waste of time and money. two hours of staring at a screen and not even talking. you come out and you're energy levels are drained from sitting in the dark. its the worst idea for a date.

- mini golf is a great idea. tons of opportunity for kino. it makes you feel like a kid again. you'll get her energy levels UP being outdoors and doing something slightly competitive. etc.

- your universal idea was good also, dont beat yourself up on it. if you got the bucks it definitely ups the odds of having a magical night.


now as for what is going on here. basically two things are going on:

1) she does like you. how much we can't be sure of, but on some level she is open to giving you a shot.

2) she is playing hard to get. she's letting you know that she can take you or leave you. this tactic is often mistaken for low IL - really she is just setting the frame, trying to make herself the prize - make you work / wait for the prize.

the problem with chics who do this is that 9 times out of 10, when you get to know them, you find out that they secretly are b*tches. they LOVE toying with men. they get a thrill out of dangling the treat in front of the cat, but never really feeding the cat - its all for their own twisted ego amusement.

not saying that's going to be this chic. just saying her reaction in all this is a bit suspect.

its also possible that shes in a long distance relationship or whatever and is looking at you as a vine she might jump to - but one that she doesnt want to jump to 'just' yet. she's willing to dip her toe in the pool (ie. exchange numbers) but not willing to take a swim yet - meanwhile you want to go boogie boarding.

lastly, in terms of how to handle this, its SIMPLE. you've made it clear that you want to go out with her - the ball is now in her court to initiate a date since she basically declined the one you offered.

so just be friendly and do not ask her out again. its now HER job to tell you that she wants to go out.

it's a bit of a b*tch because its a waiting game now - but that's how shes playing it and there is nothing you can do but beat her at her own game.

but don't ignore her. just be casual, care free and aloof. don't act like you are eagerly waiting for her to say 'ok, ill go out with you now'. act like its totally out of your mind and that things are back to you guys being friendly.

give it two weeks. if after 2 weeks she hasn't pushed for a date, then forget this chic. it means that she was merely leveraging your interest to help build a potential circle of contacts in a new town - women got NO problem using a guy who likes them as a 'new buddy' to help them fill up their 'friends' list.

and very lastly, i hate you and i hate everyone who lives in the area you do! WTF is wrong with me living in Canada? man it would be soooooo sweet to have stuff like universal to take a date to. we got JACK F*cking SH*T up here!!!!

once again, congrats man. now start spinning plates while you wait for this situation to play itself out.

 

[Tantric]

Hi joekerr31...

Where in Canada are you? I'm from Edmonton, but lived in both Toronto and Van.

IMAGINE how boring EDMONTON was!





k...so now I am at a bit unsure here.

Mini golf or Universal would be my top pics...based on the obvious fun factor and kino possiblities.

But...I got 50% saying she agreed to go out and 50% saying she really hasn't yet, and should wait.

The issue is that I really cannot see her taking any initiative because of the already apparant "shyness" she displays.

She does not have my number, so I need to call her so she has it (regardless of whether I make plans with her or not). So the most obvious thing at this point is to call her like I said, so she has my number, and either

a) tell her something came up and will have a busy week ahead of me. After a week or 2 set something else up.

b) same as above, except wait to see if SHE initiates anything.


hmmmm...

hate 2 go all this way to play a waiting game...damn...





Oh, cordoncordon- right now I am working out at the gym in my building. Used to go to the 24 hour Fitness in Hollywood. Met Shannon Elizabeth and a few other hotties there .

 

[Gangster Of Love]

That's why, when the opportunity is clearly there, it is very important to set something up and not just end up with a phone number. You were wondering and knew that setting the date was a better choice, now you know why. Too much time to think and you still have to set it up, etc.

I would make it clear how spending time with her to get to know her better is more important than going to any specific place. If you can do it in a low key matter, even better. Do it in person, next time you see her at the gym.

 

[Ever onward]

Mini Golf is da sh!t. It is so playful and flirty and fun. And it's almost impossible not to touch while "paling" around during the game

This is very, very hard for us to gauge her IL since we weren't there.

But I will say this. Anytime I have EVER been in a situation like the one you described, I got a date and some nookie afterwards. But like I said it's difficult for me to be totally clear on what went down. An SOI on your part might have made things clearer don't ya think?

Having said that, I still believe her IL is relatively high. She sounds like a girl who isn't going to go out of her way to meet some one at the moment, but if someone comes along she might be up for it. Thats my two cents.

Now the reason I say her IL is in your favor is this. When I get a chick's number and she's not interested at all, she kind of turns cold or awkward. I don't think that happened with your girl. If this girl wanted to reject you, she had every opportunity to do so but she has not so far. Remember, it's your job to escalate. It's her job to say no if she doesn't want to.

Another little detail that is in your favor. She pulled out her cell phone and was going to input your number because she thought you were calling her. Do that from now on by the way.

Alright so where to take it from here?

You can call her and ask her out. She has basically agreed to get together with you already because she knew that's what you had in mind when getting her number. Now you can ask her out and go on the date and not be sure if she's putting you in the friendzone, or you can SOI when on the phone with her.

You know what an SOI is right? Statement of Intent or Show of Interest. Its a statement that says that you are interested in her as more then just friends.

So this is what I would do. Get her on the phone. Make plans. I would say something low key like the suggestions that have been made. Then after you make the plans, get her to tell you about something she's passionate about and SOI off of that. I know this is a bit confusing so I'll give you an example of what I mean.

You: Blah blah blah you know what I'm thinking. I would LOVE to go play some mini golf. I haven't played in years. You up for it?

Her: sure

You: Great, we'll do it (blah blah blah). Anyway, so tell me more about the poetry you write (for example)

Her: Oh I write it because I like to express myself

You: You know I really like how passionate you are about that. I think it's kind of sexy. Alright so I'll see you (blah blah blah details)

See by throwing the word sexy in there, she knows you're not thinking friendzone. If she's still on board after that then that's a great sign. That way on the date she won't be thinking "hmmm, are we out as friends...what's going on here?"

 

[Luveno]

Why are you guys all up on having HUGE FIRST DATES!?

I only take first dates to a small cafe or bar for a quiet drink and conversation. I don't even call it a date until she calls it that. Think about it; a date is a retroactive label.

If it goes extremely well, then the time flies and she has nowhere else to stay but my place(wink wink). If its a nightmare I can always end it early and leave. There's no obligation to stay if I don't want to. You should take this approach seeing as how you think she may have low IL - always think of an exit strategy.

Just do something low-key on your first date. Women aren't children. They don't need to be shown flashing lights and colors all the time to get their attention.If it so happens that your girl does, then you've landed a retard.

All you need to be is a good conversationalist. If you can't do that, then work on it, because you will run out of fancy flashy dates, but conversation dates are limitless.

 

[Tantric]

Luveno,

I completely agree...

Something hasn't been feeling right about the ideas I had, and what I have been thinking about recently.

Honestly, I ALWAYS had my best luck just having simple convo...I remember a few years ago meeting 1 chick for a light dinner...2 hours later she turns to me and asks me if I wanted to fvck.

it was menioned earlier that it does not matter where you go...and seeing as I have been out of the game for a while...I now remember my best success was just when I met a girl for a drink.

I decided to jsut call her tonight to set something up a drink this week. Probably go to Citywalk, which has a lot of activity, and find a cool palce to chill. maybe even just a quite place by me...

 

[Luveno]

Luveno,

I completely agree...

Something hasn't been feeling right about the ideas I had, and what I have been thinking about recently.

Honestly, I ALWAYS had my best luck just having simple convo...I remember a few years ago meeting 1 chick for a light dinner...2 hours later she turns to me and asks me if I wanted to fvck.

it was menioned earlier that it does not matter where you go...and seeing as I have been out of the game for a while...I now remember my best success was just when I met a girl for a drink.

I decided to jsut call her tonight to set something up a drink this week. Probably go to Citywalk, which has a lot of activity, and find a cool palce to chill. maybe even just a quite place by me...

Good decision. You'll be fine.

My advice is always golden. By taking it you've shown that you have a brain that works well. Excellent!

 

[Tantric]

cool...

Well...I called her around 7:30pm, and unfortunately, had to leave a msg. as she did not have my number. Now I really regret not exchanging numbers, as normally I would not have left a msg. at all, and let her call back.

Just left a brief one, letting her know the number was mine, and to give a call back, etc.

I hate this part, as there is a low chance she'll call back.

So...

My thoughts are around the idea of what joekerr31 was thinking...

I've already made it clear, leave the ball in her court, and do not ask her out again.

It would be pretty easy for me to remain aloof and casual with her, like nothing ever happened. Give it 2 weeks...

 

[Gangster Of Love]

cool...

Well...I called her around 7:30pm, and unfortunately, had to leave a msg. as she did not have my number. Now I really regret not exchanging numbers, as normally I would not have left a msg. at all, and let her call back.

Just left a brief one, letting her know the number was mine, and to give a call back, etc.

I hate this part, as there is a low chance she'll call back.

So...

My thoughts are around the idea of what joekerr31 was thinking...

I've already made it clear, leave the ball in her court, and do not ask her out again.

It would be pretty easy for me to remain aloof and casual with her, like nothing ever happened. Give it 2 weeks...

You've done more than most of us do most of the time. With that being said, I must say you have employed not the best strategy twice in a row.

You got a number before setting a meeting. Then I adviced you to not call her, but wait to ask her out in person when you see her again. Now all you got is more doubts in your head and nothing to show for, yet.

Women always screen their calls. ALWAYS! There is a very slim chance she will call you to make plans, but it is possible. The best thing to do now is to chat her up, and suggest getting together, something low key, and definite. Do not continue this phone game situation. Do it all in person. You are really going out of your way to let her off easy. Look, she was nice to you, gave you the number, didn't reject you in person, yet she didn't give you an answer. You deserve closure on this, for your effort, and for your sanity. Do not accept any vagueness. Non-comital, and vagueness are a lot more common when dealing on the phone.

I know I sound like an old angry dad scolding his child. I don't mean it that way. Its just that those are very common situations with very predictable results either way. I was not just talking out of my a$s.

 

[jonwon]

double post need deleting

 

[jonwon]

Okay...just got back from my workout...

I am a writer and actor, so this may be a bit long and dramatic...

I took the chance that as workout girl missed her workout last night, she would probably be there this morning...

She was, along with 2 other guys who were working out (no with her though). Honestly, I felt a bit AFC, as the guys next to me were huge, and dressed a bit better than me, etc. I said "hi" to her through the mirror, but she had her headphones on and was watching TV. No reply.

So...I actually felt dissed. Plus the 2 buff guys who were obviously showing off their testosterone gave me a very "weak" feeling.

Still focused on the TV, she again did not say anything when I walked by and asked how her workout was going.

Again, felt really dissed.

I told myself FVCK IT!! I could be totally reading into this....if she is going to diss me, I rather get dissed in the face, and I was tired of pvssying around.

I figured she was nearing the end of her workout, so I strategically decided to work my back (where the machines are placed near the exit). Figured even if I get dissed, I rather go for it in front of the 2 guys acting who were all alpha and hot shyt who only had the balls to stare at her the whole time.

As she is done her workout, she smiles and says, "goodbye", and I ask if she ended up making her workout last night (I knew she didn't, but only thing i could think of). I follow her for a few steps, at which point she removes the headphones and says she couldn't make it. I poke fun at her, calling her a slacker, making excuses, etc.

Got her smiling a bit, so I asked her what her plans were for the week. She said she was doing nothing really...some writing to do, planning a vacation, but nothing major. I asked her if she wanted to do something fun. She smiled and said, "like what?".

ME - "You like rides?"

HB -"What kind of rides"

ME - (my plan was to invite her to UNIVERSAL STUDIOS and CITY WALK", which is a really cool place at night. Thought that roller coasters, haunted houses, etc. would really be cool and exciting) "like roller coasters, rides, haunted houses, etc.".

HB - "mmmm...no...that sort of stuff scares me...The fear of FLYING out of a roller coaster...."

(yeah, I know...there was a 50/50 chance she would like it)

ME - (smiling) "Well, we can figure something out...when is your next day off?"

HB - "ummm..pretty much every day. I am not doing much..how about we talk about it next time we see each other working out?"

(YIKES. I took that as diss. I then really hesitated as I did not know what to say).

ME - "So what have you done for fun since being here?"

HB - "ummmm...hmmmm...well...nothing really".

ME - (poking fun) "what? you've been here in LA for 8 weeks, and you have not done anything for fun?

HB - "embarrassed, "hmmm...no...not really" (she smiles)

ME - "I want to go out and have some fun this week...and I would love for you to come" (kinda lame, but it was the only thing that came out o my mouth).

She smiles.

ME - (at this point i was REALLY STUCK, and nerves got to me) "tell you what...I have a busy day today...and tomorrow with an audition...why don't I give you a call tomorrow and we can figure something out?"

HB - "sure"

ME "what's your number?"

(she gives me her number and I plug it into my cell). She then pulled out hers. As I plug it the digits she asks me if i am calling her.

ME - "No, just plugging it in to my phone"

(HA!!!! I really DID NOT clue in that she wanted me to call her, to get my number into HER phone - number exchange)

Anyway, there was more to the convo, but that was the general gist. I ended up trying to keep it light, joked around, etc., and I told her I would call her tomorrow.

The issue is that throughout the convo, I was selling her on UNIVERSAL, convincing her it isn't that bad (very tame actually), and I KNOW she would have a good time...but I do not want to take here there if she is going to be freaked out and not enjoy it.. So...now I am at a loss as I don't have a back-up plan.

Also, the IL does not seem very high. It's tough to read as she looks very unapproachable and shy...sometimes bytchy looking...but when we talk she is all smiles.

When she said, "why don't we talk about it next time we work out", I figured it was either a) a diss, or b) a prompt for me to get her number...not sure...

I have no clue where to go from here...really...

Mike

Here is my assement of this:


HB - "ummm..pretty much every day. I am not doing much..how about we talk about it next time we see each other working out?"


This point as you know, you felt something wrong, i will elaborate on what you felt but could not put your finger on it.

This is a form or rejection:
But you pushed through and showed persistance, which i compliment you on.

but there are somethings that need to be noted:

When she said this line and you came back with:

ME - "So what have you done for fun since being here?"

I am going to show you what happened here:

By you stating this response after the initial brush off.


What you did was show her the converstion was important to you, you went back for more after a brush off and a form of rejection which could be described as lowering your status to almost begging!

i will give you props for being persistant, but this persistancy came with a form of 'I am so focused on the outcome and i need this i am going to ignore the rejection and try to conversation with her'.

What i would have done, is simply said 'hey no problem, i see your busy, why not give me your number and i'll give you a call when i am free'. instead of trying to keep the conversation going when she had effectivly killed it.


Well done for approaching her.
Shame she fired back with a rejection response and i beleive simply thats what it was.

The bottom line fact is:

You need to understand you will get rejection from women, but that does not mean you have to change tactics, that simply means when it comes, accept it, persist if you want, but guys that are successful with the persistance after a rejection usually go back for round two after a certain time.

My cousin for example, was gaming this one girl in a club she constantly told him she was not interested in girl speak, well he simply did his own thing and went back to her every hour or so and as the night progressed and the added fact she was getting little attention elsewhere she eventually 'gave in' and he slept with her that night, persistance, but done in a way that does not say 'I am so invested in this conversation i will do anything to keep it going'.


use what you have learned and game other women.

Also the phone thing:

You only scared or concerned since your 'new' to this, if you get more experiances that will fade more and more.

You have crossed a majour hurdle, do what your doing but now do it with 'more' women thats all.

Sarge on is a great quote for you.

This may turn out ok, but tbh about it i would not expect 'anything' at this stage and in that take what you have got from this interaction and use it on another girl for the next time!

Dont be so hung up on results and when a girl gives you a form of rejection, read it for what it is, close or move on.