"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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MarkHammond

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ok so like I was saying before this girl is a long term friend but she has a bf which means little to me because she never brings him up when we talk. I dont wanna fall into the surrogate category giving her the attention and doing the bf things he should be doin but I do wanna get that ass. So I have been keeping busy and giving attention when I feel. She has her own spot and she says its cool if I come by and sh!t what Im wondering is how should I play making a move being that if I move too soon I give away the mystery?
 
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"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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backbreaker

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Originally posted by MarkHammond
ok so like I was saying before this girl is a long term friend but she has a bf which means little to me because she never brings him up when we talk. I dont wanna fall into the surrogate category giving her the attention and doing the bf things he should be doin but I do wanna get that ass. So I have been keeping busy and giving attention when I feel. She has her own spot and she says its cool if I come by and sh!t what Im wondering is how should I play making a move being that if I move too soon I give away the mystery?
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lol, you havn'et made a mistake, ,at least a foreseeable one yet, that's always good.

However, you over overthinking...


You are taking the being a mystery concept a little to far.

You want to be a mystery as in.. not reveling too much of yourself like a babbling idiot..


However, YOU NEVER WANT YOUR INTENTIONS TO BE A MYSTERY.

EVER.

If you want to date her, and she has a BF, tell her that's cool, and I'll see you at times, but it doesn't change the fact that I still want to bend the fact that I want to bend you over a chair and **** your brains out...

If you stop by her house, MAKE her reject you! She isn't even rejecting you she is just saying she isn't interested at this time..

You have to lay the groundwork for a future reltionaship, and anything you do besides make a move, no matter how much of a "mysterY" you are, wil llead you to LJBF land.
 
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DonJuanMonk

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Okay, first off - are you dating her or at least hanging out with her on an one to one basis?

Second, Is her body language/eye contact giving you the go-ahead for any action?

Third, Is her boyfriend smaller than you?

Answer these questions first, and you'll get "the next update."
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

Read more...

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MarkHammond

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yea we hang out on a one on one basis in fact we planning to go to atlantic city in a few weeks (she has her own money to gamble with)


When we together she laughs alot and we have a good time. she tried to iniate a hug the other day when i picked her up from work she walked to the driver side i guess for a hug but i was too dumb to catch on lol


Yes he is smaller then me and she lives alone I mean he comes over but Im sure when Im there she will have some excuse why he cant that day.


so u think i should make her reject me huh?
 
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MarkHammond

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i dont know ill just chill with her at ur crib this weekend and depending on the vibe just react
 
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MarkHammond

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its friday and we supposed to chill later ill take her to a bar or sumthin and just go on the vibe
 
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tmpgstx

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She is hanging out with you when she has a bf? Wow, she could be trouble Dawg. If she was done with hime that would be one thing, but doing weekend activities with you .. hmmmm
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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ScrewIt

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this is tough!

I know kidnap her bf and she'll coming running to you for comfort, that way you'll tap that ass like no tomorrow.

But seriously this situation is tough. I'd say the best thing to do is let her see how great of a guy you are. How? well date other women, introduce her to them. Do double dates. It works great to fuel jealousy in women. Show her you're busy and have other important things to do than just bearound her.

you wont achieve anything by not dating anyone. If i were you i'd get off this oneitis.

Better yet give her the ultimatum. Tell her you cant be friends anymore its too hard for you. you might get lucky if she posesses true feelings.
 
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sexualchocolate

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sounds like you know what ur doing. u have a goal and a gameplan to achieve it. too many (unnaturals) go to bed daydreaming of pretty mountains and unicorns hand in hand with some chick.

Girls do the exact same thing (gameplan). they run to their girlfriends who dont have a man. and get advice that seems to come from this site.

i would hit it as long as u dont know her boyfriend. be careful going to her place tho. he might pop up.

as far as making a move. sounds like ur in there if she is inviting u over, i wouldnt worry much about it. Just go over there knowing ur about to get u a lil.
 
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DonJuanMonk

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Mark, a girl always knows when a guy wants them - She's giving you buy signals and from what you tell me she isn't really giving you "friendszone" but then again we don't know. You can only know IF you make a move, So make that move to get your answer
 
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