"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Fellow Don Juans, Help A Brother Out!

FoxHound20

Don Juan
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Ok, my situation is as follows:

2 years ago I meet this girl, I develop an interest for her, and become LJBFd after about 2 months. We actively flirt with eachother and i'm able 2 years later to break free of the friendship zone and turn her into a "Oneitis With Benefits" (not bad for an guy who was an AFC a year ago).. since having fooled around with her, I've found myself in the perdicament of obsessive infatuation...

We both have an agreement to not date, but to maintain the benefits between us. At first I was cool with this, then I realized that I wanted her all to myself. She then realized that she wanted me all to herself, so we made a pact to stay true to eachother, yet not date. Stupid idea!

So now i'm starting to develop some hard feelings for the girl (can't stop thinking about her, wondering who she is with, etc.) These feelings are knocking me off my normal routine of eating properly, working out, and taking an interest in other girls. I desperately need to seek closure on this because I feel that it will ultimately drive me into the ground.

Any advice how to break off the benefits, while being able to maintain a simple friendship with her? I can't handle finding out stories from my friends about her flirting with other guys, etc. She's a very flirtatious girl and this just plays with my emotions. It's a bad situation when you stop working out and constantly have a heavy feeling in the chest. I also don't agree with our agreement because I have a couple other girls that have taken an interest in me, but i've had to LJBF them. I'm sick and tired of these games, but at the same time I feel as though I love this girl.

Help me get out of this AFC mindstate fellow Don Juans!! :(
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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SealTeamSix

Don Juan
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you already know the answer ... and most of DJs here will tell you the same .. that is .. MOVE ON buddy.
 

FoxHound20

Don Juan
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I definately know that I need to move on and that it will hurt for real.. time to man up.

The one main problem I see is that it will be hard for us to hang out if we aren't constantly fooling around, etc. It will be weird to drop her off and not kiss her goodnight, or sleep naked next to her, etc. Get the drift?
 

squirrels

Master Don Juan
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A universe...where heartbreak and sadness have bee
If you still enjoy the sex, maybe you should just terminate the "faithfulness" part of your agreement. You know, just tell her you want to "see other people."

If you think that you can't handle it emotionally, still sleeping with her without the permanence, then just move on completely. Or learn to handle it. One or the other.

"How do I break it off with a girl" is the same kind of question as "how do I approach a girl". You KNOW how to do it. You just need to grab your balls and do it.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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DJ_Dork

Master Don Juan
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Ask yourself. What do you want with this girl.

Ask yourself. Can you see you and her in a real relationship together?

If not.. then move.

And always.. FWB never become friendship. It becomes zero.
 
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