Feeling like a Loser lately

[OngBak]

This doesn't sound right...

You seem to think that the cause of your unhappiness is how other people (supposedly) think about you.

Do you believe yourself to be narcissistic?

You describe that you believe yourself to be objectively correct and better than your peers. You think they're trying to somehow manipulate you, and that they, not you, are the problem. You sprinkle in that none of them "even lift", that you think they're out to backstab you, and that they are jealous and envious of you.

You also spent most of this thread trying to convince me your system is a sure thing, when that wasn't even the main topic of discussion.

I guarantee you that nobody is thinking that much about you...

Even if they were, other people's perception of you is beyond your control. That's why, again, you need to think about what makes YOU happy, and do that. NOT trying to prove others wrong.

It is how it is, Im not narcissistic, Im genuinely better in the things we are doing in class, its about class here not about the general part. People around me mostly behave narcissistic, due to their insecurities. Last time f.e i dont even do anything, Im quiet do my tasks, and then group work starts. One guy in the group (always men) notices I get attention from woman, tries to undermine or tries to dominate me, compete with me in front of the girls, which backfired for him/them. The Girls know that, they actually called it out how all the men around me behave weirdly insecure and try to impress them and how im the only one who isnt doing any of that

 

[Plinco]

It is how it is, Im not narcissistic, Im genuinely better in the things we are doing in class, its about class here not about the general part. People around me mostly behave narcissistic, due to their insecurities. Last time f.e i dont even do anything, Im quiet do my tasks, and then group work starts. One guy in the group (always men) notices I get attention from woman, tries to undermine or tries to dominate me, compete with me in front of the girls, which backfired for him/them. The Girls know that, they actually called it out how all the men around me behave weirdly insecure and try to impress them and how im the only one who isnt doing any of that

Did you ask her out in person or not?

 

[OngBak]

Did you ask her out in person or not?

Do you mean the woman I talked about in the earlier separate thread?

 

[Plinco]

Do you mean the woman I talked about in the earlier separate thread?

 

[OngBak]

I actually gave an Update about it. She wasnt in class and I have class with her again the next week, so instead of waiting I just messaged her on MS Teams, unfortunately she wasn't online since Monday.

 

[Plinco]

I actually gave an Update about it. She wasnt in class and I have class with her again the next week, so instead of waiting I just messaged her on MS Teams, unfortunately she wasn't online since Monday.

Why don't you wait until you see her in person and go up to her and talk to her. You are capable of doing that.

 

[OngBak]

Why don't you wait until you see her in person and go up to her and talk to her. You are capable of doing that.

I was dealing with a lot of anxiety, and just taking action and putting myself out there in any way helped me regain some balance. As I mentioned the other day, I was feeling overwhelmed by everything I was going through, so I focused on the next step that could move things forward and simply sent her a message.

 

[BPH]

It is how it is, Im not narcissistic, Im genuinely better in the things we are doing in class, its about class here not about the general part. People around me mostly behave narcissistic, due to their insecurities. Last time f.e i dont even do anything, Im quiet do my tasks, and then group work starts. One guy in the group (always men) notices I get attention from woman, tries to undermine or tries to dominate me, compete with me in front of the girls, which backfired for him/them. The Girls know that, they actually called it out how all the men around me behave weirdly insecure and try to impress them and how im the only one who isnt doing any of that

Here's the thing...blaming anything/anybody other than yourself for how you feel, or the situation you're in, only gives more power to those external factors.

If you REALLY believe you're unhappy because of all these other people, then cool, what are you gonna do about it?

Stop worrying about things outside of your control. This is why I keep asking you (only to have you not really answer each time) what you really want, so you can move the needle towards that. All you've really said so far is "I want to make an impact" and "I don't like the system". You haven't said anything about how you plan to change that, why, or what you're doing now to achieve that goal.

 

[Rocky_Hendrix]

It could be potentially due to a Vitamin D or magnesium deficiency.

First and foremost, do blood-test for Testosterone.

Academia itself is hard to deal with there are a lot of backstabbers, manipulative people and insecure individuals, including some professors.

So what? Do you really think that academia is somehow special? Almost everywhere containing people will manifest those things. You better read 48 laws of power asap.

You do not need to make friends from academia - go out, make new connections. For the first time you can choose some location and try to make relatives from here (e.g chess classes), however, after a while, you should become less domain dependent and more open to spontaneous acquaintances.

 

[OngBak]

First and foremost, do blood-test for Testosterone.



So what? Do you really think that academia is somehow special? Almost everywhere containing people will manifest those things. You better read 48 laws of power asap.

You do not need to make friends from academia - go out, make new connections. For the first time you can choose some location and try to make relatives from here (e.g chess classes), however, after a while, you should become less domain dependent and more open to spontaneous acquaintances.

I also believe something is wrong with my Testosterone, Im so far to tired mentally and physically to do something right now. Im keeping my nutrition in check, bought Vitamin D and Magnesium, carefully chose high quality ones to first counter the deficiency. Weirdly, went yesterday to the Gym it made me feel much worser then before despite second week of my mesocycle. Probably due to the defieciency

Regarding 48 laws of power, I know them I understand Power mechanisms, I know much more then the typical 48laws, as I also mentioned earlier, i know too much for my age, things I should have not discovered and should have stayed undiscovered. I do also understand systemic interplays, the problem is Im dealing with to much. Imagine having a shield on you, but non-stop People are shooting at you , where at some point it starts to crack and then break.

 

[OngBak]

Here's the thing...blaming anything/anybody other than yourself for how you feel, or the situation you're in, only gives more power to those external factors.

If you REALLY believe you're unhappy because of all these other people, then cool, what are you gonna do about it?

Stop worrying about things outside of your control. This is why I keep asking you (only to have you not really answer each time) what you really want, so you can move the needle towards that. All you've really said so far is "I want to make an impact" and "I don't like the system". You haven't said anything about how you plan to change that, why, or what you're doing now to achieve that goal.

I honestly don’t know how best to handle this. The university is known for its extremely demanding structure, there’s a constant stream of assignments, and as soon as you finish one, the next deadline is already there. It feels relentless, almost as if the system is designed to push students to their limits, Id even dare to say to fail them. It’s also the first MBA program in Europe with such a high level of difficulty and a very strict pass rate. You at least need a 3.20 GPA to pass, otherwise you wasted your years + there is no allowance for repetition if you fail once, you are not allowed to repeat

Given that, I’ve been considering approaching my professor to present my research and explain that I’d like to focus more deeply on developing it. Ideally, I could align it with the course topics and potentially be exempted from attendance. That would allow me to concentrate on what truly matters my studies and my research, while minimizing unnecessary distractions (the insecure kids there, including Profs).

 

[plumber]

I also believe something is wrong with my Testosterone, Im so far to tired mentally and physically to do something right now. Im keeping my nutrition in check, bought Vitamin D and Magnesium, carefully chose high quality ones to first counter the deficiency. Weirdly, went yesterday to the Gym it made me feel much worser then before despite second week of my mesocycle. Probably due to the defieciency

Well, if you believe this you should get tested. So that you can deal with it or eliminate it. Proper running system is a range with slightly different values for different men. One size does not fit all.

The symptoms you describe could fit for low T. Also the Ruminating.

IF, it is an issue for you, you can not overcome it without dealing directly with it.

IF it is low, THEN why is it low ? But first you need to know if it is low.

 

[RoadKing_Rabbit]

View attachment 15347

RABBIT!

One of the best pieces of advice I received in life that I didn't understand till I was around your age was "The first step to fitting in is realizing that no one fits in." Really think about that phrase. Almost any clique in existence has no rigid "rules." It's mostly tradition styled as "unbreakable rules." Screw all that crap. Be a Renegade like rage against the machine!

"Some college" will never be considered a more positive thing where you can put a degree down. KEEP THAT ATTENDANCE. A trip wouldn't be bad though! And suicide? Even entertaining that thought ain't cool man. Wish I could say more, but I have 0 experience with schooling in Europe.

I can definitely say though that if I had gone the 4 year stem degree route I could be where I am now, give or take 12-15 years ago. I'm still leagues ahead of where a lot of men end up, but could have gotten there faster. Then again, it lead me to developing a lot of character I probably wouldn't have either. We each go our own way as you will too. One step at a time.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

@OngBak Get your ass to Amsterdam and take some mushrooms (psilocybin). Seriously.

If not you may find yourself living in a shotgun shack, saving all your food stamps and burning down the trailer park.

Yo cut it!

 

[OngBak]

I slowly feel better to be honest, I dont know whats happening, but I believe it has very likely to do with T- Levels along with Vitamin D and Magnesium Deficiency. I was also able to eat better today, the past days I could not meet all of my calories. The inner tension + anxiety is gone, out of nowhere.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

I slowly feel better to be honest, I dont know whats happening, but I believe it has very likely to do with T- Levels along with Vitamin D and Magnesium Deficiency. I was also able to eat better today, the past days I could not meet all of my calories. The inner tension + anxiety is gone, out of nowhere.

Look into solar flares OP, along with the magic mushrooms. The Sun has been acting up lately and when there are major flares it affects a lot of people, saps their energy, myself included. We just had a major X class flare the first week of April that nearly delayed the Artemis launch to the Moon.

Check out this guy's youtube channel for more info

Stefan Burns

I cover solar activity/space weather, planetary alignments, and geophysical energetic events so we may all better understand the quality of the energies of the Solar System and the Earth. I believe this helps in the spiritual and consciousness evolution journey, and I also discuss health and...

www.youtube.com

 

[Cheeky_James]

Chin up mate.
It’s just a bit of depression it’ll pass..

 

[OngBak]

Look into solar flares OP, along with the magic mushrooms. The Sun has been acting up lately and when there are major flares it affects a lot of people, saps their energy, myself included. We just had a major X class flare the first week of April that nearly delayed the Artemis launch to the Moon.

Check out this guy's youtube channel for more info

Stefan Burns

I cover solar activity/space weather, planetary alignments, and geophysical energetic events so we may all better understand the quality of the energies of the Solar System and the Earth. I believe this helps in the spiritual and consciousness evolution journey, and I also discuss health and...

www.youtube.com

I have never heard about this one, but checked the dates when solar flares happened, and the dates were exactly the Days where I experienced extreme levels of anxiety and inner tension maybe it amplified my symptoms of the deficiencies.

 

[OngBak]

Please watch this Video from the beginning to the end:, this is exactly what Im going through:

 

[OngBak]

Update: Turns out I had a dysregulated nervous system, basically a state of chronic hyperarousal. My body became overly sensitive to both internal and external stress because of long-term accumulated pressure.

The thing is, I didn’t even realize how stressed I actually was. The constant adrenaline and cortisol kind of masked everything, so I felt “normal” while my system was under heavy load the whole time + Stress was never something that held me back, so I kept going. Only when things started settling back toward baseline did it hit me, I had around 1 week straight of constant tension and anxiety, which made me realize how much had been suppressed before.

My bloodwork is fine, testosterone, free T, SHBG, everything is actually above average what most People won’t even achieve with a TRT Dose. What stood out more was what my doctor said: that being in a state like that for an extended period is actually quite impressive to tolerate, and not something many people manage without more serious consequences. Hearing that made me realize that my body handled a level of stress that isn’t typical, which I see as something significant, but also something I needed to take seriously going forward.

For now, Im doing very well, anxiety + tension is gone, self-esteem and confidence is back, time to keep winning in life.

Thank you everyone for the Support