I'm scared of going up to girls with other guys, why? I don't know, I guess it's because I'm afraid of what the other dudes will say if I mess up, insecure in my own game I guess. So how I can get over this fear? Should I really be scared of this?
Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single
She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.
You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.
The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.
Fear of approaching girls hanging out with other guys.
- Thread starter ElStud
- Start date
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Poonani Maker
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No. You should really never ever ask that question, "Should I be scared?" I don't care if you're at the edge of a 1000 ft. cliff, never be scared. If the guys give you a bad reaction, laugh at them, or treat Them like girls, and if they want to fight well then you have every right to use bottles, knives, or cue balls whatever in a 3v1 etc so have at it. No fvckin guy is gonna step on my feet or keep me from where I wanta go.ElStud said:
DonJoseCantosie
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Hey man, its only natural to be a bit intimidated by it, even i am.
But the reality is that the worst that'll happen is: "Hey man...thats my girl" if its his girl. Thats it. A guy aint gonna start a fight or anything, as u aren't kissing her or anything. And even with that, most guys won't prolly try to outgame u or anything if u show ur confident and are self assured.
Better yet, that same guy prolly didn't do what u can do.
But the reality is that the worst that'll happen is: "Hey man...thats my girl" if its his girl. Thats it. A guy aint gonna start a fight or anything, as u aren't kissing her or anything. And even with that, most guys won't prolly try to outgame u or anything if u show ur confident and are self assured.
Better yet, that same guy prolly didn't do what u can do.Luke Skywalker
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Approach tactic: ASK how they all know each other - are they related? same job? is this some sort of club? etc.... just ask questions about the relationship of the group, or learn some group openers.
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Lust, I need to agree with Luke on this one - I believe that is one of the openers David Deangalo has recommended - and it works!
By establishing relationships at the beginning of a conversation, it reduces comments such as "She is my girlfriend" from coming up, you know who to spend your time with, and who to avoid.
By establishing relationships at the beginning of a conversation, it reduces comments such as "She is my girlfriend" from coming up, you know who to spend your time with, and who to avoid.
Hey ElStud, I posted on the same subject yesterday in my thread (or well I mentioned this problem). I think you have to gradually build your way up. Like with the saying "hello/hi" thing I had to start with senior citizens and work my way up to girls&women so-to-speak. Right now I'm only really "practicing" on chicks standing there alone or maybe with another chick, as it's the easiest option. Over time I'll want to learn to open girls standing in a clique, too, etc. but if you have approaching anxiety or something like that it's obviously easier to approach girls who are alone at first and move your way up.
I think everywomanshero said something about the cornerstone of cognitive behavioral therapy being building your way up and that most studies show, that people in such a situation who flood themselves have rather poor success rates, which is why gradually building your way up is your best bet. So well Im not gonna worry about that too much before Im comfortable approaching girls who are by themselves!
I think everywomanshero said something about the cornerstone of cognitive behavioral therapy being building your way up and that most studies show, that people in such a situation who flood themselves have rather poor success rates, which is why gradually building your way up is your best bet. So well Im not gonna worry about that too much before Im comfortable approaching girls who are by themselves!
Uh... don't know if you've following me but I'm way beyond the "Hello/hi" thing and I've been approaching chicks for a while, sometimes getting interest. I've approached girls in groups of girls before it's just girls in a group of guys or one girl surrounded by several guys that scares me.GamePlan said: